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combatcuteness

combatcuteness

The number zero is feeling lonely...
Nov 30, 2020
192
I sometimes hate to see the way the world moves on without me. It's rather disappointing and honestly infuriating. I've had a shitty life simply because other people with a good life made shitty choices. I've been bullied, abused and ignored by people in my life and society. Before COVID hit, I resented God and the world for what I felt was an injustice. Once COVID hit honestly I felt happy because normal people got to feel what it's like to be me. The isolation of being an outcast and having to start a social life from zero. My therapist told me some people haven't recovered from social anxiety and depression since COVID. That many realized their friends were not really friends once they had mental illness. I thought people would change and I wouldn't get as many weird looks and not be laughed at for anxiety and avoiding eye contact. I can tell most people look down me. I wished that wasn't the case. Now I resent society for not changing, COVID came and I'm still looked down on for my lack of social skills and panic attacks. Sometimes I wished another tragedy came and the whole world burned in front me until some kind of justice has been made.
It's a hard feeling to describe and I hope I did a good job.
 
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