Discussion do you want to die because of a bad decision you've made?

[fleshgarden]

I'm asking this more for comfort I suppose. feel free to explain in the comments please I'd love to listen no matter how messed up it could be. love you guys

 

[SCHOPENHAUERBITCH]

When I was a teen, there was a girl I knew making a post about suicide awareness on tiktok. Shit like "if u ever feel like unaliving, call me, I care about you" so me being the naive dumbass I was, I reached out and confessed all the bullshit I'd been feeling and she literally just responded with "um... that's not..." and right then and there I knew she'd probably sent that to her friends and I literally wanted to end it then and there. I dont trust normies like that anymore

 

[Dot]

Slf mde strng of decsns whch rsultd in th/ st8 tht am trappd in

Doin smethng whch causd an argmnt erly in slf rlatnshp whch subsquntly triggrd lts of undrlyng trma

Thn doin a YT hypnoss whch opend sme mentl fld-g8tes whch rsultd in symptms tht hve hve nw

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Yes, rather, a series of them.

 

[itsgone2]

Yes, though unfortunately I don't want to give too many details. Also I wouldn't know where to begin. I just didn't give enough respect to how difficult life is. How much you need to focus on family, career, faith. If I could do it again I'd start with being a better husband. Just was embarrassingly awful.

 

[SCHOPENHAUERBITCH]

Slf mde strng of decsns whch rsultd in th/ st8 tht am trappd in

Doin smethng whch causd an argmnt erly in slf rlatnshp whch subsquntly triggrd lts of undrlyng trma

Thn doin a YT hypnoss whch opend sme mentl fld-g8tes whch rsultd in symptms tht hve hve nw

i had a seizure reading this but I cant view your profile because im new. lol

 

[Dot]

i had a seizure reading this but I cant view your profile because im new. lol

Hpeflly sme1 cn hlp transl8

 

[SCHOPENHAUERBITCH]

Hpeflly sme1 cn hlp transl8

nah i get it i can understand

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

I'm asking this more for comfort I suppose. feel free to explain in the comments please I'd love to listen no matter how messed up it could be. love you guys

Kinda, yes. Picking the wrong career, wrong wife; although we had a good marriage for 20 years, the last 10 were dreadful.... These decisions have left me in financial crisis from which I will never recover from

i had a seizure reading this but I cant view your profile because im new. lol

Yeah I can't understand any of that lol

 

[TheEmptyVoid]

I'm asking this more for comfort I suppose. feel free to explain in the comments please I'd love to listen no matter how messed up it could be. love you guys

Yes, I feel like I'm a horrible person and don't know why.

 

[Dante_]

Slf mde strng of decsns whch rsultd in th/ st8 tht am trappd in

Doin smethng whch causd an argmnt erly in slf rlatnshp whch subsquntly triggrd lts of undrlyng trma

Thn doin a YT hypnoss whch opend sme mentl fld-g8tes whch rsultd in symptms tht hve hve nw

Translation for Dot :

I made a string of decisions which resulted in the state that I am trapped in.

Doing something which caused an argument early in my relationship which subsequently triggered lots of underlying trauma.

Then doing a YouTube hypnosis which opened some mental flood-gates which resulted in symptoms that I have now.

 

[Dark Moon]

Yes, I've made bad decisions but I've also been failed.

 

[unloveable27]

Drinking and driving away the best girlfriend I could ever have with my behavior

 

[mjolnir]

I would say that the decision to commit suicide stems from a combination of different events and not from a single trauma, but this is just my personal experience and I imagine it may be different for other people.

 

[fleshgarden]

..When I was a teen, there was a girl I knew making a post about suicide awareness on tiktok. Shit like "if u ever feel like unaliving, call me, I care about you" so me being the naive dumbass I was, I reached out and confessed all the bullshit I'd been feeling and she literally just responded with "um... that's not..." and right then and there I knew she'd probably sent that to her friends and I literally wanted to end it then and there. I dont trust normies like that anymore

god that's really low , almost evil .. promising a sense of safety and understanding but then giving the opposite .. I'm sorry you had to deal with that :(

Slf mde strng of decsns whch rsultd in th/ st8 tht am trappd in

Doin smethng whch causd an argmnt erly in slf rlatnshp whch subsquntly triggrd lts of undrlyng trma

Thn doin a YT hypnoss whch opend sme mentl fld-g8tes whch rsultd in symptms tht hve hve nw

ah I see.. that sounds really terrifying :( I think I've been there , somewhat .. I don't know all the details of your situation , but in personal experience , giving yourself time and space is the most important thing. I'm sending you good wishes....

Yes, though unfortunately I don't want to give too many details. Also I wouldn't know where to begin. I just didn't give enough respect to how difficult life is. How much you need to focus on family, career, faith. If I could do it again I'd start with being a better husband. Just was embarrassingly awful.

that's alright . it sounds like an overwhelming thing you've gone through .. life is very difficult , it feels like no matter what path I choose at least . I have hope in you ;what matters is that you've learned and you try your best to pave a knowledgeable path . it is better said than done-it's truly painful

Yes, I feel like I'm a horrible person and don't know why.

I've been there . it's a really awful feeling.

Kinda, yes. Picking the wrong career, wrong wife; although we had a good marriage for 20 years, the last 10 were dreadful.... These decisions have left me in financial crisis from which I will never recover from

ahhh fuck that sucks.. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this I couldn't imagine how harrowing it is to navigate this situation

Yes, I've made bad decisions but I've also been failed.

that's a good way to word it. I feel seen by your comment . I'm sorry you had to deal with this

Drinking and driving away the best girlfriend I could ever have with my behavior

fuck I'm sorry . I can't imagine what you've been feeling . I'm sending you prayers

I would say that the decision to commit suicide stems from a combination of different events and not from a single trauma, but this is just my personal experience and I imagine it may be different for other people.

I wanted to word my question in a simple way; I do agree with this definitely

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Yes and no. I believe I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life where I would've ended up in a better place had I not made that decision. But a decent part of my suicidality is wanting to die because I increasingly see little value in living longer if I can't enjoy life, which becomes ever more unenjoyable seemingly no matter what pills I take to try and help with it or what therapy tactics I use, leading me down a path of despair I can't crawl out of.

 

[Dante_]

There's definitely a bit more i could say here myself but quite a bit of it stems from decisions ive made for sure which has resulted in seeing the massive disappointment that I am in myself.

 

[TheEmptyVoid]

But a decent part of my suicidality is wanting to die because I increasingly see little value in living longer if I can't enjoy life, which becomes ever more unenjoyable seemingly no matter what pills I take to try and help with it or what therapy tactics I use, leading me down a path of despair I can't crawl out of.

Exactly is what's happening to me too.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I want to cease existing because existing is dreadful and torturous, I find it horrific how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the extreme agony of old age with no limit as to how much they can suffer, to me existence will always be the most dreadful, terrible abomination, existence is what is bad, all that existence does is harm and torture existing beings with no limit as to how much agony one can feel.


For me non-existence is just all that's positive, for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to escape from all future suffering in this existence so evil, cruel and dreadful, I'd only be relieved to never suffer again, I just want to erase this existence, existence to me is always a mistake that just causes all this torture and suffering, I see it as so terrible how this existence was imposed, I'll always see the existence of life as the most terrible, cruel tragedy.

 

[kitkat9234]

So many horrible decisions. The guilt and regret consume me. I'm reminded daily of my fuck ups

 

[Terrible_Life]

I'm asking this more for comfort I suppose. feel free to explain in the comments please I'd love to listen no matter how messed up it could be. love you guys

No it's because I had lots of bad luck in life things I couldn't influence had horrible impact on me and led to unnecessary pain and suffering. It's evil and unfair and absolutely tragic today I could have had a beautiful life I had potential I did my best but well it's not possible to succeed in life when you lack the basic life necessary skills. Today I'd say if I had children I'd teach them that in this world you'll get nothing for free nothing - if you want something you must work hard for it and you should never give up but instead when you fail correct the mistakes work on them then try 3 times harder the next time and I'd definitely tell him that this world is absolutely not a peaceful happy tralalalala land but instead it's a cold world where most people recklessly only think about their own benefits.
I'd also tell him one final thing and that'd be: never let yourself be fooled superficial bullshit , ignore and avoid the idiots who have no personality but hide under materialistic bullshit - …… how much I wish my family would have thought me these things as a child … today would be another situation another life no rope here and no fight to overcome si but instead fulfillment happiness etc

 

[Unlucky777]

I want to die because I've made THOUSANDS of bad decisions over the last 15 years. Yes, THOUSANDS. My mind won't let me stop thinking about them. If it's not one decision then it's another.

Kinda, yes. Picking the wrong career, wrong wife; although we had a good marriage for 20 years, the last 10 were dreadful.... These decisions have left me in financial crisis from which I will never recover from

Same except it was one relationship that led to thousands of bad decisions that ruined my financial stability which I'm trying to recover from but I'm not sure if I ever will. I get discouraged very easily when I see people just breezing by

 

[sweetdrowning]

Yes, I consistently make bad decisions and never learn from my mistakes. I deserve death.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Yes, rather, a series of them.

Such a deep sadness settling in now. I don't look back fondly on any era of my life. There's always something I did hanging over and ruining it. I'm ashamed of high school, ashamed of college, and oh boy am I ashamed of the long time since...all the good times are poisoned.

 

[kufajoy]

I don't think I made any mistakes in my life. I really did what I could. I'm just tired now fighting endless with myself. I think I'm a mistake of god(if there's one) he misplaced my body and soul.

 

[sealsarecute]

oh definitely!

the most notable time is when i was with my abusive ex. there had been a ton of red flags before the relationship and during it, and i shrugged it off. Mostly because i was so trusting of everyone i met. so when he would love bomb me or show controlling behaviors (both before and during) i didnt know what to call it, what was happening, so i didnt say anything... because i thought it was normal!

i grew up in a pretty dysfunctional household, i understand why i thought it was normal.

i just really regret not asking anyone about it, about what he was doing. even when he drugged and SA'd me i didnt question it.

when we had broke up, he said that I sa'd HIM. i felt like such an idiot. because i BELIEVED I DID THAT!! because i didnt remember anything that had happened. and it wouldn't be maybe a little after 2 or 3 years when i had finally realized what had really happened, when i finally put the pieces together! my mom was one of the people that SAW what he was doing, tried to WARN me. i ignored it, i left and lost so many of my friends because i trusted him when he said my friend was abusing him!! so throughout the first few months of this breakup, i was alone on it (exception of my mother ofc ;^^) and lost the shared friendships i had with his friends, because he told so many people that I hurt him, THAT I was the perpetrator. and i STILL tried to reach out to him through that last friend i had. i still feel guilty and apologize about it to this day. but the fact that i had kept trying to reach out, to talk about things with him, he would shut me down, saying i hurt him. when i finally realized what really happened, i had gone into a spiral. i was so pissed that i overlooked things! i really hated myself, i went through at least 3-4(obv failed) suicide attempts in the 1-2 month spiral i had. and i kept thinking about just killing myself almost everyday, even after the grieving period of realization.

my point is, we all make really dumb decisions. wether its with harming ourselves, or others. you arent alone in this, its human, we are human ♥︎. so, dont feel too guilty and keep beating yourself up over it. Sorry for the rambling, by the way!!! i dont know if you needed to hear ALL of that ahaha ><

 

[pelicanportal]

No, I just needed to be loved. I would have needed to have been born less ugly or with a different orientation. I would have been unstoppable if I had been born remotely attractive.

 

[Terrible_Life]

No, I just needed to be loved. I would have needed to have been born less ugly or with a different orientation. I would have been unstoppable if I had been born remotely attractive.

being attractive won't solve all issues a human faces in life it's a lie what if someone looks good but is mentally completely damaged?

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Yes too many. Not solely responsible but contributing factors.

 

[pelicanportal]

being attractive won't solve all issues a human faces in life it's a lie what if someone looks good but is mentally completely damaged?

It is my primary issue, growing up as an ugly woman can rob someone of a lot of self-confidence and self-esteem. It induces a lot of bad coping mechanisms and social skills. Respectfully, I know my life and my issues.