Discussion do you consider yourself to be an envious person?

[juneisdoomed]

i consider myself to be an incredibly envious person. i don't hate anyone for having a better life than me, but i do get excessively jealous when i see people - especially people my age - succeed.

sometimes i feel guilty because of it. but part of me has just accepted that i'm an envious person - just as i've accepted that suicide will be my way out. i get very happy when something good happens to those i love, but afterwards i often find myself wondering why nothing of the sort seems to happen to me. maybe i should just be content with living a quiet life.

what about you? do you find that you have lots of envy simmering within you?

 

[dreaming]

very much so lately, envious of both physical and emotional things and I really wish I wasn't..
I don't even want very much anymore, but the things I do want feel so impossible to obtain, and then I see other people around me who get it with little to no effort while I struggle and most likely fail to do the same things.

 

[bakenohana]

tldr; yes I am an envious person

I don't know how envious I am overall, I don't feel envy very often for people my age who succeed in life if anything I tend to feel envy more for the opposite (I envy people who've lived horrible lives because I feel like my life hasn't been horrible enough to account for the way I am). I usually get envious or jealous over smaller things, there is one thing I'm more envious of than anything else in the world, thats cis men. simply just because they're cis I get envy simply just listening to my dad of all people talk. it's so bad i literally just avoid ever talking and going in public unless i absolutely have to. It sucks so fucking bad seeing someone be everything I've ever wanted to be without even trying, the universe simply chose them. I do wish i wasn't like this but wishful thinking won't get me anywhere. Anyways this was a lot longer than it was supposed to be

 

[The Disqualified]

i consider myself to be an incredibly envious person. i don't hate anyone for having a better life than me, but i do get excessively jealous when i see people - especially people my age - succeed.

sometimes i feel guilty because of it. but part of me has just accepted that i'm an envious person - just as i've accepted that suicide will be my way out. i get very happy when something good happens to those i love, but afterwards i often find myself wondering why nothing of the sort seems to happen to me. maybe i should just be content with living a quiet life.

what about you? do you find that you have lots of envy simmering within you?

You are envious that others your age succeed? I can see that happening. The fact you are even reflecting on it is very interesting. I see this as a problem all human beings have to grapple with, noticing it is the first step to containing it. I don't think you should see yourself as an "envious person" in a fatalistic sense. This is a normal human feeling, especially in competitive spaces like schools and job markets. Everything is so competitive today. I really feel exhausted.
I wouldn't say I envy others in the sense of wishing them not to succeed or getting angry at them. Seeing others succeed and getting ahead in life is more about confirming my failure to connect to human society on a deep level. It is more about bringing out the problems I already have rather than having anything to do with the other person in particular. Perhaps I should just unplug myself from humanity. Don't know

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

Yes. You don't have to nurse guilt though. Envy doesn't necessarily mean you want bad things to happen to take those nice things away from others or to make their life worse. That is better describes as resentment but even then if you feel that way that doesn't necessarily mean you truly desire harm in your heart.

 

[Quiltsand]

I'm envious of the person I used to be. I once had a best friend, a cousin and father I was close to. I was in great health and fitness and had six figures in savings by my late 20s. I lost my best friend, my cousin, my dad, aunt and of course my grandparents have already died. My body and health is destroyed and I got into debt from a horrible gambling problem. I am envious of who I used to be because it feels too much has happened and there is no recovery now. I have nobody in my life and have lost it all, it would take me 10 years to save back what I had a few years ago and even then my family is already gone. I've wanted to end it for so long, but it's been difficult to have a successful attempt. I don't want anything that other people have but am envious of all that I had worked for a few years ago. I used to be someone with something, someone with a family. Now I have no family and not even 10% of what I had 6 years ago

 

[juneisdoomed]

tldr; yes I am an envious person

I don't know how envious I am overall, I don't feel envy very often for people my age who succeed in life if anything I tend to feel envy more for the opposite (I envy people who've lived horrible lives because I feel like my life hasn't been horrible enough to account for the way I am). I usually get envious or jealous over smaller things, there is one thing I'm more envious of than anything else in the world, thats cis men. simply just because they're cis I get envy simply just listening to my dad of all people talk. it's so bad i literally just avoid ever talking and going in public unless i absolutely have to. It sucks so fucking bad seeing someone be everything I've ever wanted to be without even trying, the universe simply chose them. I do wish i wasn't like this but wishful thinking won't get me anywhere. Anyways this was a lot longer than it was supposed to be

i also find myself struggling with feeling like my life hasn't been bad enough to justify the way that i feel. but i always try to remind myself that just because i haven't suffered as much as others, that doesn't mean that what i went through is worth disregarding. in fact, people who have gone through much more than me can be happier than i have ever been. either way, it takes strength. and sometimes your strength will falter and smaller events will cascade into much larger emotions. i hope that you can take something away from that as well.

p.s. gender envy is one of the worst feelings in the world. i'm right there with you.

You are envious that others your age succeed? I can see that happening. The fact you are even reflecting on it is very interesting. I see this as a problem all human beings have to grapple with, noticing it is the first step to containing it. I don't think you should see yourself as an "envious person" in a fatalistic sense. This is a normal human feeling, especially in competitive spaces like schools and job markets. Everything is so competitive today. I really feel exhausted.
I wouldn't say I envy others in the sense of wishing them not to succeed or getting angry at them. Seeing others succeed and getting ahead in life is more about confirming my failure to connect to human society on a deep level. It is more about bringing out the problems I already have rather than having anything to do with the other person in particular. Perhaps I should just unplug myself from humanity. Don't know

you are incredibly well-spoken! i agree that envy is a pretty common emotion. it becomes difficult to juggle for me because of how little people admit to being jealous from time to time. it makes me feel all the more isolated.

i also agree that seeing others succeed is just a reminder of my shortcomings. i don't get angry at people for doing well, but i instead get frustrated with myself because i'm not doing well.

 

[dreaming]

simply just because they're cis I get envy simply just listening to my dad of all people talk. it's so bad i literally just avoid ever talking and going in public unless i absolutely have to. It sucks so fucking bad seeing someone be everything I've ever wanted to be without even trying, the universe simply chose them. I do wish i wasn't like this but wishful thinking won't get me anywhere. Anyways this was a lot longer than it was supposed to be

I agree
It requires so much effort to achieve what cis people have naturally, and even then it still feels as though so much is missing, some people just get lucky, and I wasn't one of them, and it's just one of the things making me wish I didn't exist.

 

[Pluto]

 

[juneisdoomed]

I'm envious of the person I used to be. I once had a best friend, a cousin and father I was close to. I was in great health and fitness and had six figures in savings by my late 20s. I lost my best friend, my cousin, my dad, aunt and of course my grandparents have already died. My body and health is destroyed and I got into debt from a horrible gambling problem. I am envious of who I used to be because it feels too much has happened and there is no recovery now. I have nobody in my life and have lost it all, it would take me 10 years to save back what I had a few years ago and even then my family is already gone. I've wanted to end it for so long, but it's been difficult to have a successful attempt. I don't want anything that other people have but am envious of all that I had worked for a few years ago. I used to be someone with something, someone with a family. Now I have no family and not even 10% of what I had 6 years ago

this hits really close to home for me. you've been through pain that most people won't experience in an entire lifetime. all you have is yourself, and it's up to you to be your own savior. that's not fair at all. it's not fair that you don't have a shoulder to cry on or someone to lift you up anymore. i'm not going to hold it against you if you have already given up. i hope you find peace, whether it be in life or death.

i love this account lol

 

[bakenohana]

I agree
It requires so much effort to achieve what cis people have naturally, and even then it still feels as though so much is missing, some people just get lucky, and I wasn't one of them, and it's just one of the things making me wish I didn't exist.

upon the effort it already takes coming out and constantly fighting to be taken seriously, they make it even harder with waiting lists and how expensive it is to get gac if you cant mentally afford to wait I wish people took it more seriously but somehow our rights just progressively get worse and worse. and i agree, i haven't sought out medical transition (and probably wont ever because I'm gonna ctb) but I feel as though even if I did there would still be something missing, the longing of just having been born that way. It's so unfair, having to be the people on the receiving end of being unlucky

 

[fishperson]

i dont think im envious. I just wish i was lucky. when i see a luckier person , i get mad at life , at my own luck; But never at the person.
this frustration consumes me on the daily. people say , u gotta appreciate what u have. but rly what i have simply doesnt fit my personality at all.
someone else would do great in my environment but not me.

 

[pelicanportal]

yes, it is my only real vice. i went really hard into stoicism to try to address it, but i am on the suicide forum so clearly that did not work. i think it is the ugliest of the seven deadly sins just in terms of how it rots your soul and seeps into the otherwise plesant parts of us. wish it was fixable, i think it is hardwired in us.

 

[SentimentalTrip]

You know, for all my negative qualities I actually don't find myself being all that envious of people. I feel that for short moments I sort of live vicariously through others. Whenever I see somebody who has qualities that I wish I had, or when I people around my age living the life I wish I had, I don't get upset. I just smile and think about how wonderful it must be to be them. For a moment I feel genuinely happy and then I get sad. Is this envy? I don't really think so because to me envy implies anger or resentment towards people have the things/qualities you wish you had.

 

[Asya]

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[Forever Sleep]

I'm less envious than I was because I tend to suspect most people have difficulties in life- one way or another. I also believe that: 'All that glitters isn't gold'. Something that seems like an amazing opportunity isn't always. It can just bring along its own set of new problems.

I suppose I'm so cynical that if I consider- if I had that person's life- would I be happy? I still tend to doubt it! I also have less things I want or want to achieve now. Plus, I'm not around other people so much to compare what they have to me.

I used to be terribly envious though. Of people who had more creative talent than me. Of people who seemed naturally confident. Of people in relationships. Now, I know I don't want to put the effort in to improve what I have so- I know I can't even really want those things now.

I also try to take responsibility for my failings. While I didn't choose to develop social anxiety or a crippling lack of confidence around others, I haven't done enough to work on those things so- naturally, they have held me back. I had gallstone trouble- likely because my diet was poor.

While there are some wild cards, I think life also opperates via cause and effect. I haven't achieved some of the things I wanted because I didn't put enough effort into doing it.

Talking to people I assumed were just breezing through life- I figured out it was unreasonable of me to feel envious of them. It turned out they didn't have an easy life. They were battling their own shit. They were also making sacrifices I may not have- to follow their dreams. I think there's often more to it than a person just being blessed with good fortune. Although, that's a better start- of course.

I also think it helps to put the shoe on the other foot. It seems likely we don't have the very worst lives in the world. There may be many people out there who would look at what we have and say: 'You're so lucky/ fortunate. If only I had those opportunities.' How would that make us feel? It annoys me when people consider me lucky but then- I could actually be far more fortunate than them.

 

[sourcherry]

100% but ive deleted/made inactive all my social media and that has helped quite a bit. now i dont have to watch people's highlight reels.