Depression Megathread

[kalashnikova]

I've always known from the start that my life was going to be a shithole, I died a long time ago and no one noticed. I am no longer the same girl I used to be, and I don't think I was even anyone at all. All my life I have felt like an empty carcass, a void drifting through this existence with no purpose or ambition and waiting to die. I am an adult now and I don't think I'm going to reach 21, my life has been bound to end this way. I grieve what could've been and the person I could've turned out to be, but it's okay because all I want is to release myself from the shackles of my existence and this world. I was never meant to be here, I was meant to be somewhere far from this planet.

 

[lostgirl55]

I don't know what to do. Moved away from an abusive home just to go right back to one. My roommates have made me absolutely miserable. One didn't pay rent for months, allegedly lied about her paystubs, and the other one has been controlling / manipulative from the start by not only covering for this girl, but accusing me of things that I did not do.

Yesterday, they teamed up against me to force me to move out early and I'm so fucking tired. I just feel like crying, it really triggered me but I try not to end my life. I can't. I haven't played Mass Effect 5 yet.

All day, there were ganging up on me and saying that I didn't want to be there and that I need to leave -- one even said "I'm not sure where you going to stay" like what the fuck do you mean? What do you mean?? The same bitch who caused all of this shit? I have never had a stable household IM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT.

 

[LostWay]

Blame capitalism. Our society puts our basic needs behind a fucking paywall. You're not overreacting when you're stressed about money or a job. Humans were never meant to live this way

I feel you

I'm too broken to be fixed too. Been struggling for many years.

Don't be naive, humans will always need to work to get their needs met. Even outright theft requires some labor. You can't say we weren't meant to live this way when we have lived this way since the early hunter-gatherer days. Blaming modern capitalism for the natural human struggle is just illogical. Especially since capitalism and modern technology enables us to do much more than what should be possible In our natural state.

 

[Sweet Tart]

My depression Ran deep as a child. I'm not sure if I was depressed and suicidal or just suicidal. Either way, it started with self injuring, then strangulation fail, then a bunch of child failed Attempts ( zero research involved) but never hospitalized because "faith heals in my household". its been so heavy walking through life, intrusive thoughts of "jump" or "run" in front of things.. but my fear is that I'll survive being hit by that car, or I'll survive that train hitting me (sometimes my thoughts make no sense even to me ). So I spent years planning because anxiety of retaliation by parents.

Ah yes, I have been diagnosed with treatment resistant depression.

I'm also diagnosed with treatment resistant depression, which keeps me from leaving the house much or working, but apparently isn't serious enough for me to qualify for disability benefits.

I also get the urge to step in front of traffic (or the subway). What stops me is that it seems impossible to determine the probability of surviving. I knew someone who jumped off an overpass & they were left with pretty serious physical problems and chronic pain. I can't handle that on top of what I'm already dealing with, physically & mentally.

 

[ixkitty]

I'm also diagnosed with treatment resistant depression, which keeps me from leaving the house much or working, but apparently isn't serious enough for me to qualify for disability benefits.

I also get the urge to step in front of traffic (or the subway). What stops me is that it seems impossible to determine the probability of surviving. I knew someone who jumped off an overpass & they were left with pretty serious physical problems and chronic pain. I can't handle that on top of what I'm already dealing with, physically & mentally.

I understand that. It sucks! And since I research everything, all I see is how it can go wrong now, especially since a lot of them are personal experiences