Discussion being ugly/unattractive is the worst thing that can happen to a human.

[internallybeautiful]

any uglies out there who would like to be friends? im 19F, almost 20, and ive been living in an inescapable state of depression. my face has been my greatest downfall, especially as woman. im surprised their isn't more people complaining in regards to their appearance here, i thought that would be the no. 1 reason why people would consider suicide. all my interactions are negative, whenever someone sees my face. im locked in my room all day, with no real social interaction. its absolutely hell for me, my desire to end my life constantly gets stronger and stronger day by day. i hope to find people who can relate. im extremely grotesque and repulsive looking, though, i believe i have a pretty nice persona.

 

[Le_Dauphin]

Sorry for your suffering. It goes without saying that no one cares about our persona.

Forgive my English, I'm from Brazil, English isn't my first language.

I'm a gay man, 37yo, never had any romantic relationship, never had a decent job. Being truly ugly affected me so terribly in life that I wasn't able to study properly, never got an actual career. There's many types of ugly people, I was able to see that in life. Society usually calls "ugly" people who are just not exactly within the very rigid social standard of today. There are many people who aren't considered "pretty" but are, in their own specific way sexually attractive, arousing. That's not my case. I am what I call TRULLY ugly. Irredeemable. Every single feature of my face looks exactly like what should repulse people.

I Recently had a job interview, but it's always the same: Once they see my face, they clearly start to make the training process harder for me, by concealing studying material, messing with deadlines and everything else!

My adoptive parents HATE me like the devil, because they brought this disgraceful creature into their lives, like it was my fault, I wasn't even a week old when they adopted me. Ever since my face naturally turned into this malformed thing, in adolescence, they blame me like Satan for having to share their resources between me and my sister, who is their biologic child and happens to have their genetics and is quite good looking. My mother HATES that she wasn't able to invest her money entirely on my sister, she sees me as a leech, and I've really become that, much due to the way she treated me. She constantly tries to provoke me into attacking her physically, so that she can either kill me, claiming self-defense or call the cops on me, possibly as a way to be rid of me. I have become mentally impaired, because of this and, coupled with being ugly, you can imagine who on Earth would hire me for any minimally decent job.

I have no friends, and, through time, I have acquired a very negative personality, after being so mistreated because of my looks, though I don't treat anyone badly because of that. Hypocritical people usually tell me that this personality is the reason why I have no friends or relationships, when deep down they probably laugh and know that no one in their right mind would want to be friends with someone this ugly and who is SUCH a loser! I see sociopaths and felons everyday having a much healthier social life than mine ever was!

Every man I had a relation with was with me solely for the little money I gave to him, and in every single time they made it clear that the experience was a total nightmare for them, and that they'd prefer literally any other gay man or woman in the world rather than me.
Whenever I have some bucks left, I go to cheap, lame bars here in my town in the interior of Brazil. I usually choose these places because they're already filled with losers, very poor people and people with foul appearances, but recently, I managed to get kicked out from a place like this by the owner without having done anything disrespectful, thanks to my "undesirable appearance". Just for being hard to look at. Coping with not having relationships and sex was totally futile, because even if I accept that harsh reality, other people aren't satisfied. They literally want me NOT to exist.

You can think how I get revolted when I see people complaining that being too good looking is hell on Earth, yet, they marry equally good looking people, rich people, or even both. They have motivation to pursue their careers and everything else. And they can never fathom the idea of being kicked from ANY place without having done anything wrong. I'm literally a subhuman being, and i can only HOPE that I'm able to remember all that very vividly, when I'm in front of my SN cup next month and the survival instinct kicks in. Because if the life I lived can't beat survival instinct, I don't think anything else can!

I wish I could say any platitude to comfort you, but I'm 18 years ahead of you in terms of suffering (I mean timewise, not in degree) and on top of that I'm a homossexual in a 3rd world country, the place that most kills homossexuals on planet Earth. I'm affraid I don't have anything positive to say, except that I truly hope that you may find a solution for your situation, because I'm someone who truly knows how all the things you described feel!

 

[ummagumma]

have you tried to get plastic surgery? i know that its expensive (and not very healthy... i mean in ideal world we all should be body neutral) but maybe this can help? idk... just wanted to make sure that all options were exhausted before considering suicide life is so so so cruel and im really sorry that you feel that way. i dont find myself very attractive too (well probably 3/10), but i suffer to a much lesser extent than you do. im sorry again

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

It's a problem, but in my opinion, I don't think it's the worst. For me, being alive and held hostage by a biological mechanism (or program, if you prefer) is the worst. I think a person with this problem can still find pleasure in living. This, obviously, is very subjective; my intention is not to minimize your pain. I perfectly understood what you wrote, and I'm very sorry. You are very young, and I am an old man of 60, so that certainly influences my worldview based on my experiences, etc.

 

[I_go_in]

any uglies out there who would like to be friends? im 19F, almost 20, and ive been living in an inescapable state of depression. my face has been my greatest downfall, especially as woman. im surprised their isn't more people complaining in regards to their appearance here, i thought that would be the no. 1 reason why people would consider suicide. all my interactions are negative, whenever someone sees my face. im locked in my room all day, with no real social interaction. its absolutely hell for me, my desire to end my life constantly gets stronger and stronger day by day. i hope to find people who can relate. im extremely grotesque and repulsive looking, though, i believe i have a pretty nice persona.

You're a girl so as long as you're skinny you should have no problem. You probably have some sort of dysmorphia and if you posted a picture of your face thousands of guys would start hitting on you. You're probably in the best time ever to be female. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think but I know you really do think it is bad. But yeah being an ugly chick does suck. But also I've very very rarely seen a girl's face and just said "ewwww." Just based on statistics I bet you're just average and have a mental problem about your looks. If I'm wrong and you're just hideous I apologize but if I had to bet you're just a normal girl and have some sort of issue with your looks.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

You're a girl so as long as you're skinny you should have no problem. You probably have some sort of dysmorphia and if you posted a picture of your face thousands of guys would start hitting on you. You're probably in the best time ever to be female. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think but I know you really do think it is bad. But yeah being an ugly chick does suck. But also I've very very rarely seen a girl's face and just said "ewwww." Just based on statistics I bet you're just average and have a mental problem about your looks.

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any uglies out there who would like to be friends? im 19F, almost 20, and ive been living in an inescapable state of depression. my face has been my greatest downfall, especially as woman. im surprised their isn't more people complaining in regards to their appearance here, i thought that would be the no. 1 reason why people would consider suicide. all my interactions are negative, whenever someone sees my face. im locked in my room all day, with no real social interaction. its absolutely hell for me, my desire to end my life constantly gets stronger and stronger day by day. i hope to find people who can relate. im extremely grotesque and repulsive looking, though, i believe i have a pretty nice persona.

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[I_go_in]

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You don't have to have an eating disorder to be skinny. Nobody said anything about porn being good. I'm just saying that lots of young girls have problems with their appearance due to social pressures when in fact they are fine. My entire point was to try and make the OP realize that she may not be as ugly as she thinks. If she was like disfigured from some sort of fire or horrible happening as a child I would get it but idk, I just want to help people.

You don't have to have an eating disorder to be skinny (do Americans actually believe this?). Nobody said anything about porn being good. I'm just saying that lots of young girls have problems with their appearance due to social pressures when in fact they are fine. My entire point was to try and make the OP realize that she may not be as ugly as she thinks. If she was like disfigured from some sort of fire or horrible happening as a child I would get it but idk, I just want to help people.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

You don't have to have an eating disorder to be skinny. Nobody said anything about porn being good. I'm just saying that lots of young girls have problems with their appearance due to social pressures when in fact they are fine. My entire point was to try and make the OP realize that she may not be as ugly as she thinks. If she was like disfigured from some sort of fire or horrible happening as a child I would get it but idk, I just want to help people.

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[I_go_in]

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My point was just to try and say that she may not be as unattractive as she thinks. If you read that far into it then I don't know what to say. I'll continue to try and make people aware of their reality. She could be some actual ugly person but in my experience it's usually the mind that makes people believe things like that. My sister had the same thing and she is actually a beautiful girl. Used to cut herself and stuff but she's actually stunning. I know first hand how young girl's minds cloud their understanding of how they look. I'm an old man and have zero reason to lie or make anything up, plus I'm dying within the week.

Also, I think you may have a too jaded view of men. It's not exactly a theme park out there for ugly guys and not every guy is some rapist waiting to strike. Just my thoughts.

 

[vascomorrow]

any uglies out there who would like to be friends? im 19F, almost 20, and ive been living in an inescapable state of depression. my face has been my greatest downfall, especially as woman. im surprised their isn't more people complaining in regards to their appearance here, i thought that would be the no. 1 reason why people would consider suicide. all my interactions are negative, whenever someone sees my face. im locked in my room all day, with no real social interaction. its absolutely hell for me, my desire to end my life constantly gets stronger and stronger day by day. i hope to find people who can relate. im extremely grotesque and repulsive looking, though, i believe i have a pretty nice persona.

Ill be your friend im ugly too. Ill never get married or have a family. Im so ugly that even a girl with only 1 arm and no legs who has moebius syndrome, that cant blink rejected me..

Youre not alone.

 

[TheBag]

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry to hear this. Here's another older guy (almost 61). I used to be good-looking. But now my looks, of course, are seriously deteriorating :-(.
I used to be obsessed with my looks. I even considered plastic surgery/hair implants, if I only had the money for it...I know mine is just a fraction of the OP's suffering (not to mention Le_Dauphin's suffering).

Luckily, one of the prerogatives of getting older is that looks become slightly less important. Simply because your contemporaries are decaying as well ;-). And with age comes certain wisdom, even for a narcissistic/OCD type of person like me.

I know you're still very young, and validation from others may feel crucial. But the truth is: it isn't. If it is, then only from maybe one or two important people in your life. Certainly not from other people around you (passersby, people in the bus, people in the street, the store, etc.). Who cares how they see you? They don't matter. Unless you want to be friends with them all. You should absolutely not give them the power to make you lock yourself in your room. It's not about what they think or feel. It's about how you feel, about yourself. It's your life, you are driving the bus, not someone else. I believe, without a doubt, you have a nice persona. That's what counts. Believe me, it's all about peace of mind within yourself.

Once you have that, you will automatically become more attractive to others (no matter how you look). But this is just a byproduct. Self-acceptance is the key, really. I know this is easier said than done. It's a process. But believe me, once you start having these brief, positive moments with yourself, you're on your way!