I empathize, sincerely. You don't deserve to live like this and be treated like this. But respectfully, knowing I won't last a week in your shoes doesn't really motivate or inspire me to get better, whatever that entails. I have it way easier, yet here we are both.
That doesn't sound sincere at all, shows to be very unempathetic as you say my condition is the worst, and then cut it off with whatever that leaves behind to distract the reader (mild shock/negative surprise then comprehensive apathy-inducing confusion, classic trick these days). Then you add you having it "way easier" (to be honest, I do exaggerate sometimes as I don't have people to talk to)... I don't lack property, and I only really work on my fading artistic skills (to be fair, I dabble in photography + motion graphics design - illustration included, songwriting and excellent singing, I am an excellent writer - according to other published writers as well as an aspiring filmmaker shooting his first documentary... I can post my work if you wish). Basically I work like a dog on my own, but I'm unfortunate as unfortunate can be. So I hope you having it way easier is answered. I've been working like ass to no end on my arts since more than a decade now, 22 years old.
Of course until this year I had, basically everything going amazing on the outside for me - all the equipment a lover of electronics (and games) wants, a loving father who in turn made the exterior family love me more (he was rich), full support to be and think as freely and uniquely as I'd ever want (from an orthodox larger family), basically no stopping to do the things I want - I still have financial freedom if I teach myself to lie for good, but fuck that is so difficult. An artist is made with love, not in hell. I still have pretty much everything I want and everyone calls it a "matter of time", time has definitely run out. This year was riddled with painful tragedy, for which I had zero foresight, painful enough to kill a man.
Being too honest I can become evil to make my life way better, but I spent my life fighting those same piss drinking demons in my head, so it's better to die. I'll just work into my grave, proud of being always correct :).
I don't want an ant's pity let alone someone who goes around having it way easier, sympathy is a luxury these days. The world is becoming too dark for decent intellectuals like me.
Are you sure you are evil, or the people around you are evil and they attack you because you are not evil?
We all have the hidden ability of being endlessly evil. Yeah I'm incapable of actually doing evil (even trying fails hilariously), but I'm better that way. That said, I've done horrible things in my life *to a very close one.
