• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    šŸ‘‰ View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
red_cardinal

red_cardinal

pinniped enthusiast 🦭
May 25, 2026
28
It's a terrible feeling, especially as you age. I truly am not doing anything meaningful with my life due to my issues, and all my time is spent working on those issues and trying to manage them so they don't affect my life. Which is ironic, because struggling with complex problems, they can't not affect my life. I'm exhausted, and deeply sad when I see people overcoming their obstacles because it makes me feel inadequate, broken, defective, it's just a reminder of my failure. I'm the opposite of selfish, and I rejoice others' success, but (not so) deep down, I'm collapsing, and I feel helpless.

I'm not sure I'll be here longer, but for some reason I still try and try and try, I maybe still have a glimmer of hope. For those whose issues are mental health related, feel free to share, as I feel so, so alone in this...
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Hollowman, violetforever and endboss
blossomsinwilt

blossomsinwilt

i woke to find that we were strangers
May 12, 2026
30
i feel the exact same... i'm still relatively young but due to a mix of mental health issues, i can't bring myself to do anything to build a better future for myself, improve my current situation, or do anything for myself really. i have a hard time feeding myself or getting out of bed most days and i don't socialize or go out much so i feel pretty invisible. it's painful letting the weeks slip by, watching the people around me move into successful lives and achieve their goals and find themselves and their purposes and just do so much. i wish so hard to just be normal and functional and be able to do something with my life but i can't; i feel incapable and lost and purposeless and lazy. i recently got broken up with and my ex mentioned that my mental health issues and struggles with suicidal thoughts had made the relationship stressful to stay in, and it just made me feel guilty for ever trying to be a part of anyone else's life.

i've come to like being alone and not having to do anything. i'm at my calmest when i'm laying in my bed not doing anything at all, not even on my phone or thinking about anything. just being still. i'm planning to ctb sometime this summer and i'm either doing it late at night in my bed or in a forest i like to walk in.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Hollowman and red_cardinal
red_cardinal

red_cardinal

pinniped enthusiast 🦭
May 25, 2026
28
i feel the exact same... i'm still relatively young but due to a mix of mental health issues, i can't bring myself to do anything to build a better future for myself, improve my current situation, or do anything for myself really. i have a hard time feeding myself or getting out of bed most days and i don't socialize or go out much so i feel pretty invisible. it's painful letting the weeks slip by, watching the people around me move into successful lives and achieve their goals and find themselves and their purposes and just do so much. i wish so hard to just be normal and functional and be able to do something with my life but i can't; i feel incapable and lost and purposeless and lazy. i recently got broken up with and my ex mentioned that my mental health issues and struggles with suicidal thoughts had made the relationship stressful to stay in, and it just made me feel guilty for ever trying to be a part of anyone else's life.

i've come to like being alone and not having to do anything. i'm at my calmest when i'm laying in my bed not doing anything at all, not even on my phone or thinking about anything. just being still. i'm planning to ctb sometime this summer and i'm either doing it late at night in my bed or in a forest i like to walk in.
I'm sorry you struggle, and what you shared is painfully relatable. I also have a difficult time taking care of my basic needs, like eating and showering, and the smallest action can be energy draining. I hope you find peace, no matter of your choice
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: blossomsinwilt
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
2,465
Yes. You're not alone.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: red_cardinal
K

Kanoh

Student
Dec 31, 2024
121
Yes, sad truth is almost nobody wants to hang around permanently sad people with mental illnesses. It often radiates on other people and they naturally remove themselves from uncomfortable situations, no blame on them at all. And with age it gets worse, as time passes, people naturally go away from your life even if you're healthy. This is our sad reality, speaking from experience. Suffering in loneliness is the ultimate faith for most of us.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: red_cardinal

Similar threads

red_cardinal
Replies
5
Views
493
Suicide Discussion
red_cardinal
red_cardinal
sleazyyyy
Replies
5
Views
407
Suicide Discussion
violetforever
violetforever
L
Replies
5
Views
467
Suicide Discussion
StillLife
S
whycantyouloveme
Replies
14
Views
646
Suicide Discussion
SoverignDreamer97
SoverignDreamer97