Venting Xmas venting

[Life_and_Death]

is there anything that happened during the holidays that you want to get out?


personally for me, something that sticks out is one year (i cant remember exactly how old i was but younger than 15) my mother and i had decorated our tree like every other year. with "normal" decorations and my handmade ones from school (that ive been working on and had since kindergarden +). and like every year i loved our tree and our little family project (im very family orientated. it means a lot to me..). then, my grandmother visits. walks in the door with a bunch of her own, store bought decorations. basically said the tree was ugly, ya know, the one with MY homemade decorations. and proceeded to remove every last thing of MY tree and redecorate it by herself. dude....you dont live here WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!!! its 1) not your tree, id NEVER walk into someone elses house, call it ugly then redecorate for them. thats wrong on its own.....but to do it to a fucking child!!!!!! how heartless can you be.......... and my mother did shit all about it........

if i ever get to celebrate xmas again (this year has medical things in the way so i cant.) its officially MY house, and no ones EVER touching my tree again, and i swear ill be heartless about kicking them the fuck out if they do................

 

[apearl]

I'm sorry that your grandmother did that. When I was a kid I had a similar tradition in my family of hanging up a bunch of homemade decorations / decorations from the past and I can imagine how annoying it would be for someone to walk into the house and just throw all the hard work away.

For me one thing im dreading for the holidays is just being at home, I'm not clean from SH right now and its going to be a pain to try and hide it from them.

 

[MidnightCat]

I used to love xmas.

But, as time went by... It ended up making me feel alone even when surrounded .

And.. to top it off...

My father loved xmas. He always loved spending this time of the year with me.

Last year I was going to spend xmas with him (Divorced parents + inlaws, so we had to rotate festivities each year). He died 4 days before Christmas.

We held his funeral 3 days from Christmas.


I loved him. He was the only person I could really explain and vent. He always tried his best to help. I didn't go to the hospital "because it was not serious" and my depression tied me to the bed.

I went, only, in his finals moments. He died while I was holding his hand and we where alone.

I'm not sure how I'll be able to... Hi thru this Christmas.. Or any other.

 

[Life_and_Death]

@MidnightCat, maybe someone elses thoughts isnt what youre looking for, in which case youre obviously free to disregard the rest of this, however i at least want you to know that i feel for you, and i hope you can do what you need to for yourself during this time


i dont know exactly what youre going through, but i have lost someone close to me. and i have had my xmas' taken away by a missing person. i dont know what you need right know, but i do know that sometimes a person needs their moment to grieve. maybe for you its ok to not celebrate this year and to take the time you need to process things
and some other times maybe its helpful to celebrate anyway for your missing loved one. even if its just in a small way.

while cliche, im sure its true. your loved one wouldnt want you to be sad, however if theyre your loved one, theyll also understand that you need to take the time to be sad.

at the very least, if you take nothing else from this, i hope you can take away that its ok to do what you feel you need to

For me one thing im dreading for the holidays is just being at home, I'm not clean from SH right now and its going to be a pain to try and hide it from them.

i have this cute light xmas sweater (needing to hide cuts, and wanting it the other day, made me think about it )
i wish i had something helpful to say.
i feel sorry that you have to hide them you shouldnt have to do that (but sadly some people just dont understand). your pain should attract love, not shame.

i know i cant help but i send you, @MidnightCat, and anyone else that needs it good vibes, love, and all that other good stuff.