Wow sadly more common than i assumed.

[Freedombus'25]

Reading some thread and i guess I'm not the only one who's family & home environment is both contributing and delaying CTB...

For me a bit ago it kinda hit me that if i attempt and fail I'm 70% sure my mom will take the chance to disown me. Give my dad all my stuff and abandon me. I'll have no room or a real place to stay in. Both my brother & father will resent me even more.

So it's like that risk has kept me here in away. At the same time, my mom can't stand me/living with me. So it's not like me being gone is exactly unwanted or anything.

I'm not here nor leaving for anyone. It's just such a shitty realization so much restrains me. I wanted to move so i have another space to fall back on.

I dunno / really doubt I'm a make it.

I'm not sure what to do bc while i can abandon life completely but i cannot just forget the possibility if after. It sucks more than life currently so I'm struggling with that risk.

I'm also very tired and such so moving is an extreme feat one I'm a either figure out it CTB trying.

I would throw my life in a bin in so many ways if I JUST HAD THE SPACE.

 

[ArtVandelay]

I don't understand this idea of family disowning you because you attempted suicide. What kind of parents would do that? Don't they know that will just encourage you to try again?

 

[Freedombus'25]

I don't understand this idea of family disowning you because you attempted suicide. What kind of parents would do that? Don't they know that will just encourage you to try again?

You'd be really surprised at the shitty things parents will do when you are at your worst & to push you there.

I have no doubt in my mind the possibility of my moms family guiding her mind to something like that. If someone accepts such a rational she will. As long as it's in some kinda favourable majority.

It's like the same shitty weight that i hate in life but it towards ending it so its just this really frustrating circle. Like nothing is in my hands and i don't really have a choice.