Discussion Working up to the act

[Irregularity]

I don't like making long bodied posts. I'm a young man of 24 with my own set of issues I've tried to kill myself twice while I was in the military but man are survival instincts strong. I couldn't bring myself to kill myself directly nor would my mind cooperate in planning a suicide I couldn't get out of. I've tried to mentally prepare myself by constantly torturing myself for weeks until my emotions shut down. I've tried exposure therapy meaning something like keeping a blade on my artery for hours/days seeing if the survivors instinct would lessen. I've even tried being the type to do it all suddenly in a fit of emotion. Nothing worked and I just kind-of accepted that I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, but nothing got better. My question is this: how do you prepare yourself or find the courage to commit suicide.

 

[Theon]

Hey there Irregularity. It's very difficult. I pseudo-attempted about a month ago but couldn't do it. I have a plan to do it tonight and part of defeating the SI is making an aspect of it beyond my control (handcuffing myself to a heavy kettle bell and jumping into the deep end of the pool). Of course that doesn't solve the SI before the fact but if I do manage to jump in the water, no amount of fighting will prevent me from sinking to the bottom and staying there.

 

[TimeToDie]

I wish I knew! I'm not sure anyone here will have any satisfying answer since that fact that they're still here would suggest that they too suffer from the inability to get dead. Those who actually know how to make death happen aren't available for an interview.

 

[SpanishLullaby]

I dont think there is a how-to guide for that. I think it's an individual decision such that your tolerance for life is worn down or you have just come to terms with the decision such that moving forward brings peace.

A few on here practice their chose method until they become comfortable with it assuming it's a more manual method (not poisons)

 

[Irregularity]

I wish I knew! I'm not sure anyone here will have any satisfying answer since that fact that they're still here would suggest that they too suffer from the inability to get dead. Those who actually know how to make death happen aren't available for an interview.

fair but the way I see it without an emotional fit of mania the only successful people might have a working up method I'm hoping to catch someone in the process ^.^ maybe speed me along a few years

I dont think there is a how-to guide for that. I think it's an individual decision such that your tolerance for life is worn down or you have just come to terms with the decision such that moving forward brings peace.

A few on here practice their chose method until they become comfortable with it assuming it's a more manual method (not poisons)

do you by chance know how they practice? my way didn't work out

 

[SpanishLullaby]

do you by chance know how they practice? my way didn't work out

Check the resources thread in the forum or use the search function to find individual threads on people discussing their chosen methods.

 

[Soul]

If you put "survival instinct" into the search gizmo, quite a few threads come up:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/search/94020/?q=survival+instinct&o=relevance

Some of them include suggestions (usually chemical help), others are as baffled as yoy are. It's a bitch, all right.