Wish i left over a decade ago.

[MissMisa]

Does anyone else wish/feel they should have CTB long ago? Almost as if now is too late? I've been suicidal since I was a toddler, and hit my lowest around 13. Well I'm almost 23 now. I honestly wish I could go back in time to end it there instead of now. I feel long overdue.

 

[LifeAfterDeath00]

I don't exactly feel the way you do, but I will tell you this, I feel similiar. I feel like I llack a lot of things which I have no control over, and I feel like those things will only drag me down. I am sorry for both of us. I want to say, things might get better, but honestly I no longer believe in that. :(

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I "died" 6 years ago. Now I'm only existing.. nothing makes me happy and I will never be happy. It's so frustrating when you can't fix some things. I had the chance to ctb 2 weeks ago but I backed out. I regret it so much.

 

[mathieu]

Yes, I wish my first attempt at 15 had worked. So many years of pain,suffering and misery would have been avoided.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

. I want to say, things might get better, but honestly I no longer believe in that

Same. No matter how much help I get things will remain the same for me.

 

[faust]

I planed a suicide being 16. Now I am 22 and it would be much better to leave before from one side. But from another side now I know how to leave peacefully. My life was much more painful at that time so I wanted to burn myself alive. I learnt many things in my life for that period. Now I can pass away decently

 

[S1mpleme]

I can't say that I would miss all these years I've spent so far, I don't know about my future, if that's something like I present time then no, I don't need it.

 

[gentleflower]

I wanted to CTB when I was 14. It would have been impulsive and very badly thought through. So, I am glad that I didn't do it then. The likelihood of ending up paralyzed and not dead because of the jump would have been far too great.
I would never have graduated school or university. But now, that I am contemplating actively to CTB for around another year now, I wonder why I ever tried to achieve anything. CTB at most days feels inevitable to me. I will graduate university in around 6 months and I will not go before that. I want to proove to myself, that I can do it. There is the slightest bit of hope, that it might just get better again

 

[imagineit]

Part of me wishes I did because the reasons for not ending my life, I have realized, were misguided. This was 7 years ago, but I have known for far longer that I would end it myself. I would have attempted to slit my wrists, and I don't think I would have been successful after reading about it, so I do think it was for the better in some sense. I regret that I have basically lived for years with no intent on doing anything, wasting resources and other peoples time. I feel increasingly selfish for it, and that is why I ultimately regret it.

 

[Trisolaris]

Me. I had access to jumping and a good point to hang from when I was living with my parents. All the fighting and trying was for nothing.

 

[Quarky00]

I had the chance to ctb 2 weeks ago but I backed out. I regret it so much.

3 days ago , and ditto ;)

 

[Boonks]

Toddler? A suicidal 2 year old? Huh? Elaborate or nah?

 

[TAW122]

I had the same feeling at around age 17-18, and felt that way time and time throughout my 20's. Yes, there are times where I wished I had left earlier, but then more oftenly than not, something last minute just became a turning point and then I end up extending my stay in life and delaying the bus. However, in 2020, given that Iived for almost 30 years, I believe I have reached a conclusion for myself, death is preferable to living until old age, and also suffering in the decades to come. There are some things I regret not having or not have done before, but once I end my suffering, none of it will matter.

 

[MissMisa]

I planed a suicide being 16. Now I am 22 and it would be much better to leave before from one side. But from another side now I know how to leave peacefully. My life was much more painful at that time so I wanted to burn myself alive. I learnt many things in my life for

Toddler? A suicidal 2 year old? Huh? Elaborate or nah?

I was about three when I began asking my parents why I was alive. I didn't want to be. When no one was looking, I would try to run in front of traffic. It's rare, but suicidal ideation can happen in young people.