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Will you do it in 2026?
Thread starterhmnow
Start date
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I'm probably going to do it in February or maybe March. I was planning on killing myself this year, but my plans got messed up. Hopefully 2026 is the year I can finally die.
Most likely. Since my SN plans were ruined by interventions from family, I'd probably have to look for a new method now. I'm thinking about fsh but I don't believe I have it in me to do that. Not yet.
Last attempt was sometime in February last year I reckon so I'm coming up on my next attempt pretty soon if things don't get better--as far as success goes, who can say.
I wish more than anything as to never suffer in this cruel, futile existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake is all I hope and wish for, all I want is peace from the pain and suffering of this existence that I just never would had chosen.
For me non-existence is just all that's positive and desirable and I just always suffer from how I cannot just have the option to peacefully cease existing so finally I can be at peace from this existence I just always saw as the most cruel mistake, I just always suffer so much from existing in this horrific anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what.
Likely by virtue of running out of resources to live (autistic and has been unemployed for years), but not feeling suicidal these days otherwise as I found a distraction that works for now. Kinda I understand rationally that no help is coming but I would be content with leeching from society if such opportunity was available where I live (it is not). If, by blind luck, my material conditions improve, would choose to live and suffer anyway - and regret, as always, having not killed myself earlier when I had more readiness due to losing all friends. Now I somehow got used to it and just wish I could afford anything I want without having to work for it because screw the demands of modern employment.
Probably not, i am scared of it and my life is not as bad as once was, unless i go through another really fucked up experience i am doing fine, as fine as a mentally ill person can be at least.
Unfortunately I have no alternative. If I stay longer, I'll suffer more and more and my current situation is already unbearable. Too risky to end at the hospital. Maybe April. A lot of people ctb in April. But not 100% sure. It will depend on many factors.
I wish I could say yes, but I was also damn sure it would be done in 2025, before that 2024, and so on. It feels like I came closest 2025, and I did actually buy the necessary stuff, get hotel room etc. so it feels like that was closest, but maybe that's just me coping. I'm still here ultimately. So based on prior precedent I guess it would be no.
Chances are high that I will do it in 2026. In the summer of 2026 to be exact.
My chronic pain will dictate the date. If it's bearable I will postpone it to 2027, if it gets worse, then I will end it in 2026. I just cannot live in chronic pain and with my Asperger's.
I'm avoided by everyone and I'm living my life totally and utterly alone for decades, not years. Add unsupportive parents who never understand me on top of all that.
I have a date for this summer. What makes me sad is that I don't have anyone to talk to about it beside here. The only person who knows my intentions thinks I'm better and I don't want to disappoint them.
Well 2025 was one of the worst years I've ever had. I don't wanna keep suffering and forcing myself to live if I'm always going to feel this way. It depends on how 2026 goes in general, if the first few months are off then I might either do it in summer or winter but if the year goes well after a few months then I might postpone it to 2027. I'm in undecided mode, leaning towards it going bad and having to inevitably plan to CTB.
Will be waiting to see what happens and if my health declines anymore. I am suppose to be going to an eating disorder clinic sometime next year so I would rather leave this planet before it happens.
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