Venting Why is it so hard to move on from a group?

[StoneCellaiver]

I used to be in a group a few years ago, I voluntarily left it, it's been two or three years, and they're still on my mind, I keep visiting them and it's hard for me to make new connections in general.
I can't figure out how to forget about them, or if there's any way to forget about them, I don't understand why I remember them, and why my memory has their spot conveniently placed in. It's just frustrating when you can't just CTB already, when thoughts keep clouding up.
Why is it just not possible to forget? Why does it have to be so unnecessarily hard to move on? It's all just to a point where you're alone, and you have no other place to go to except for recollecting that one instance.
Just why aren't there any groups where I can honestly speak in? I wish I knew what I'd been doing wrong, or where I could find one of them.

 

[violetforever]

same. i think for me it's because i know now that was the last time i was ever going to put myself out there because of how badly it ended. i've totally closed myself off from other people since.

It's all just to a point where you're alone, and you have no other place to go to except for recollecting that one instance.

it's my distraction from life but it's also a distraction to my life. i don't think i'll ever stop thinking everyday and i can't bear it.

 

[StoneCellaiver]

same. i think for me it's because i know now that was the last time i was ever going to put myself out there because of how badly it ended. i've totally closed myself off from other people since.

it's my distraction from life but it's also a distraction to my life. i don't think i'll ever stop thinking everyday and i can't bear it.

I don't know how people can just forget, and move on. It's difficult to just get it out of my memory, is it just that worse things come so you forget about the thing that happened by one day? Tiring.

 

[violetforever]

I don't know how people can just forget, and move on. It's difficult to just get it out of my memory, is it just that worse things come so you forget about the thing that happened by one day? Tiring.

i don't know either. people always say to not be delusional and think people haven't moved on from you as well but that's literally how i am i will avoid contacting someone but be thinking of them everyday lol.

that's exactly what happened to me. a new trauma experience replaced the one i had been holding onto since forever.

 

[Uncounted1846]

In my 20s I developed a close group of friends. We hung out every Saturday night playing games, doing bonfires, and just laughing the nights away. Suddenly, when I turned 30, the couple divorced and everyone in my crew was gone. Just like that! And here it is 9 years later and I still find myself wondering what went wrong. Or how I could have prevented it somehow. It haunts me.

 

[SufferingDev]

Short answer would be - because we, as humans, crave for connection and being in a group develop relationship and the deeper you go the deeper your pain is - that is sad truth about life.

Sometimes you wish you would never know what friendship/love is.

 

[spacealiens]

I want to get to know like minded individuals I feel lost and depressed I'm taking tomorrow off work I'm fucking things up I want to kill myself but I need to further educate myself first in spiritual aspects and that of the soul would like to know like minded spiritual individuals

 

[StoneCellaiver]

Or how I could have prevented it somehow. It haunts me

Always, this is the worst. I hate that feeling, thinking of alternative possibilities.

the deeper you go the deeper your pain is - that is sad truth about life.

Why is it so hard to adjust to a new group? When you very well know that most people in the previous one no longer care? It's just cruel.

be thinking of them everyday lol

Messing up and making a bad decision afterwards too, I hate it.

 

[Duochrome-Seahorse]

holy hell I feel this. The trauma my last friend group put me in makes me fear ever knowing anyone on a deeper level. It feels so lonely but I prefer the solitude (I'm getting used to it again unfortunately)

 

[StoneCellaiver]

holy hell I feel this. The trauma my last friend group put me in makes me fear ever knowing anyone on a deeper level. It feels so lonely but I prefer the solitude (I'm getting used to it again unfortunately)

All that time feels pointless and almost empty now, trying for no light at the end of the tunnel.