heiwa2
Member
- Mar 16, 2026
- 14
Before this I also made a post about why I want to ctb
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/why-i-want-to-ctb.237509/
In the last month I searched a lot on different methods( I wasn't suicidal before that). Before last month I didn't expect it to be this hard to find a proper method to kys. The only somewhat peaceful methods iam aware of are Nembutal, SN, inert gases, illegal drugs, CO method or combination of some prescription drugs ( that I can't get prescription of). Basically I don't have access to the resources for any of these methods, I live with my family and I also don't want to put them at any kind of risk. I don't have access to any buildings higher than 10 stories here where I live ( even then I will not be sure of it because what if you landed on your legs and survive, that would be hell on earth) .I was thinking of strangulation and hanging ( full or partial), but after looking at videos of hangings I got scared. They say you lose consciousness in 10-20 seconds ( those are considering the ideal scenarios )but I can't trust that, specially after looking at people struggle even after 3-4 minutes ( I know it's probably the body fighting to stay alive after the conciousness is gone but still it's scary). To me hanging looks brutal now. I have heard people say here that they just can't get the partial hanging to work. I don't think that there are methods that are available for me. Should I just do more research, or are there literally not any other methods.
Now I also feel bad about how it will impact the others. Before this I was thinking why should the dead care about the others, the dead is simply gone. But now not caring about the suffering of people that care for me make me feel bad. If iam gone nobody would be there to support my parents in their old age. I have a little brother that has been on antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs for almost 12 years because of schizophrenia. The drugs have left him, incapable of learning or doing anything. He's basically surviving because of my parents, but after they are gone whose gonna take care of him, would he just suffer till death. There's this property that our family owns that gives us rental income ( it's not too much but enough for a minimalistic life). After iam gone the capital would just go to my uncles and aunts because no one else would be there to inherit it. I don't like those people. My father has worked for that, how can I just let it go to someone else. Some why I also have this feeling that some people will be happy after my death. I know how evil and sadistic people can be
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/why-i-want-to-ctb.237509/
In the last month I searched a lot on different methods( I wasn't suicidal before that). Before last month I didn't expect it to be this hard to find a proper method to kys. The only somewhat peaceful methods iam aware of are Nembutal, SN, inert gases, illegal drugs, CO method or combination of some prescription drugs ( that I can't get prescription of). Basically I don't have access to the resources for any of these methods, I live with my family and I also don't want to put them at any kind of risk. I don't have access to any buildings higher than 10 stories here where I live ( even then I will not be sure of it because what if you landed on your legs and survive, that would be hell on earth) .I was thinking of strangulation and hanging ( full or partial), but after looking at videos of hangings I got scared. They say you lose consciousness in 10-20 seconds ( those are considering the ideal scenarios )but I can't trust that, specially after looking at people struggle even after 3-4 minutes ( I know it's probably the body fighting to stay alive after the conciousness is gone but still it's scary). To me hanging looks brutal now. I have heard people say here that they just can't get the partial hanging to work. I don't think that there are methods that are available for me. Should I just do more research, or are there literally not any other methods.
Now I also feel bad about how it will impact the others. Before this I was thinking why should the dead care about the others, the dead is simply gone. But now not caring about the suffering of people that care for me make me feel bad. If iam gone nobody would be there to support my parents in their old age. I have a little brother that has been on antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs for almost 12 years because of schizophrenia. The drugs have left him, incapable of learning or doing anything. He's basically surviving because of my parents, but after they are gone whose gonna take care of him, would he just suffer till death. There's this property that our family owns that gives us rental income ( it's not too much but enough for a minimalistic life). After iam gone the capital would just go to my uncles and aunts because no one else would be there to inherit it. I don't like those people. My father has worked for that, how can I just let it go to someone else. Some why I also have this feeling that some people will be happy after my death. I know how evil and sadistic people can be
