
-nobodyknows-
I will face my fate.
- Jun 16, 2024
- 777
I was in treatment for a long time when I was younger. I tried all sorts of things - therapy, meds, even ECT. Though, ultimately, it wasn't very helpful.
Still, that's not the only reason why I won't pursue that sort of thing anymore. It's just that, realistically, I don't think I can. I need to find a good, steady job, and I can't really go to therapy very easily if I'm doing that. Most of those places are only open during the workday, and I can't just take time off for that. Trying to explain why I'd be taking time off constantly to HR would also be a mess…. And don't even get me started about ECT or some of the stronger medications. There's no way to work at all while you're doing that sort of thing.
I think, for lack of a better term, I've essentially been forced to "outgrow" treatment. It's one thing when you're younger, and have more flexibility with your time, but now? It's not going to happen. I had my time to try to get better, and it didn't play out. Now, I have to do what I can with the state that I am in now.
There's also, I guess, a sort of "responsibility" factor that plays a role too. I don't think it's really right for me to rely on anyone anymore. It seems inappropriate to drag anyone into this; especially my family who had to deal with it before. It might be better if they believe everything is fine.
I may not be working right now, but since I need to get a job soon I absolutely cannot have something like therapy getting in the way of employment. It's kind of fucked up to think about. I wonder how many other people don't go to therapy or seek treatment because they just don't have time to.
Have any of you drawn a similar conclusion?
Still, that's not the only reason why I won't pursue that sort of thing anymore. It's just that, realistically, I don't think I can. I need to find a good, steady job, and I can't really go to therapy very easily if I'm doing that. Most of those places are only open during the workday, and I can't just take time off for that. Trying to explain why I'd be taking time off constantly to HR would also be a mess…. And don't even get me started about ECT or some of the stronger medications. There's no way to work at all while you're doing that sort of thing.
I think, for lack of a better term, I've essentially been forced to "outgrow" treatment. It's one thing when you're younger, and have more flexibility with your time, but now? It's not going to happen. I had my time to try to get better, and it didn't play out. Now, I have to do what I can with the state that I am in now.
There's also, I guess, a sort of "responsibility" factor that plays a role too. I don't think it's really right for me to rely on anyone anymore. It seems inappropriate to drag anyone into this; especially my family who had to deal with it before. It might be better if they believe everything is fine.
I may not be working right now, but since I need to get a job soon I absolutely cannot have something like therapy getting in the way of employment. It's kind of fucked up to think about. I wonder how many other people don't go to therapy or seek treatment because they just don't have time to.
Have any of you drawn a similar conclusion?