Discussion Why haven’t you done it yet?

[Frowny]

I have my reasons, what are yours?

 

[Salting the wounds]

Fear, methods that guarantee nothing and are extremely painful.
A minimal (almost non-existent) chance that something will improve.
And a little pleasure in being aware that nothing really matters and I can do whatever I want if I get out of this stagnation

 

[Pon]

I still feel incomplete, as though there is a lot I have yet to do.

 

[Frowny]

Fear, methods that guarantee nothing and are extremely painful.
A minimal (almost non-existent) chance that something will improve.
And a little pleasure in being aware that nothing really matters and I can do whatever I want if I get out of this stagnation

I feel you especially on the no methods are guaranteed. And the ones that are more likely I don't have access to

I still feel incomplete, as though there is a lot I have yet to do.

What are some of things you want to do?

 

[sadalways]

A stupid small amount of hope that things will change. Chances are almost close to 0, but i still have a little bit of hope. Until that hope goes away, i'll just suffer through each day.

 

[Reflection]

Squeezing out a little bit of hope, that and the fact that I still don't have a clear way out.

 

[wonderfulheaven]

blind optimism that i'll somehow move out of this hell and be safe and happy with the person i love and trust, a pipe dream at this point it'd take years so i don't know why i don't just end it

 

[meowwww]

I have my reasons, what are yours?

my plan is to do it on Friday. I want to see all of my close friends one last time and experiment with ropes and my sweet spot.

 

[WhenIBreathe]

I don't have everything I need yet to do it.

 

[Higurashi415]

Uhhh I don't have a good answer to that. I remember when I was about 13-14 I used to ask it to random people. Not like an insult, but like a genuine question. Why don't you do it? Why haven't you done it yet? Literally nobody had a decent answer, they were completely dumbfounded.
I think they never thought about it, it seemed like it.
I have thought about it, and I genuinely don't know. I could think about it and give you at least 3-4 reasons, but ultimately I think I live just because I can. And there's no specific reason why I'd have to die today, that's why I didn't.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I have my reasons, what are yours?

It's typically polite to give your name before asking others. I have my reasons, too. Hmm, I'm a bit grouchy. I'll need to bump my nicotine up a bit.

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

Mostly because I am a big chicken "Pik pik pik pik paak, pik pik pik pik paaaaaaak!"

My situation has improved since I joined the site but things are still not great, I still hold hope that they will improve even more.

Just came in here to check in and hope that things look up for everyone here.

 

[softtodie]

A small hope that things will improve I guess for me but also I don't want it to be painful.

 

[divinemistress36]

Fear of failure and Im to depressed to even put together a plan

 

[Nervous young man]

I have my reasons, what are yours?

Because I'd fuck it up again and get hospitalized again.

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

A fear of failure and ending up in a psych ward again, and things being much worse than they are now. If I've learned one thing about life, it's that it can always get worse. I wish I could have a 100% guarantee that the SN will work (and at least not too painful) would be nice.

 

[swankysoup]

It's very hard to transition from life to death alone as no one has experience on it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I only continue to suffer as I'm so cruelly denied the option to just die in peace with no risks of trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse torture and agony, no matter what I'd never wish for any of this suffering and I suffer so much from how I cannot just choose to painlessly free myself from the futile and torturous burden of human existence that I never would have wished for. Only non-existence is positive and desirable for me, I just want to never suffer ever again and I'd always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this existence just waiting to die anyway, non-existence is the only peace for me and is all I could wish for, existence itself will always be the true problem to me and I only hope for an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally gone for me.

 

[longtheriverrun]

Being unable to snuff out the tiny amount of hope I still have in me is what holds me back. I have a delusional thought process, in which I rationalize my inability to go through with it completely by telling myself there's an almost guaranteed chance I'll get better. Sadly, this 'hope' is tied to being loved by the person I had an awful relationship with. I keep telling myself that because I 'can't' do it, there must be a significantly high likelihood she'll love me again someday. I'm also still holding out to see what my life will be like in the next 5 years, and if by then I haven't changed—then I'll finally be able to go through with it. Since if I'm still so unsatisfied with life by that point, I'll surely never change

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I have my reasons

 

[Ligottian]

My pain, mental/physical has just not quite reached the level to do it. That's my best short answer

 

[NeverReallyHere]

1. Lack of a suitable method.
2. Not wanting to hurt loved ones, my mum in particular.
3. Plain old cowardice.

 

[BlueButterfly111]

My Sn hasn't arrived yet

 

[OblivionTurtle]

Because I don't want to hurt those who love me. So I stay for now.

 

[flowersinbed_]

I have things to take care of. Pets, my grandmother who is currently in the hospital, and I don't want to hurt those I love. I'm scared that I'll fail whatever method I choose and I'll be unable to attempt again or that someone will catch me in the act and I'll recover only to be sent to some rehabilitation center and have people distance themselves from me. I wish I could go out painlessly so my suicidal ideation is less present in my mind as opposed to my wishing of never being born.

 

[citrusrope]

Because as always, my wishy-washyness fucks up everything including my ability to decide resolutely if I want to go or not. Not to mention I am a very big scaredy-cat when it comes to pain or discomfort... I fear dying, but I also fear living. I am forever in limbo. Maybe if were even just a little bit more apathetic as well as courageous I could take the leap and CTB.

 

[banger12]

Finances mainly. But now that I paid off a debt I could save for my method. I hope i don't wimp out. I hope i can actually pull the trigger.

 

[TheHolySword]

Life insurance won't payout for suicide unless I've been on the policy for 2 years. That will be in May. So I'll be planning for June.

 

[CravingPeace]

My big fat baby of a pitbull would be devastated if he couldn't see me again. But every day, I think of how much better his life would be if he lived with my friend. I know he would take him in if I happened to leave early.

 

[Frowny]

It's typically polite to give your name before asking others. I have my reasons, too. Hmm, I'm a bit grouchy. I'll need to bump my nicotine up a bit.

Lolz I didn't realize how messed up it sounded me asking it like this