Venting Why does getting better cost more than suicide?

[Afterglow]

I wish I could get better. I wish I could be a happy, functioning human being.

Why is the permenant end to my life more cost effective than trying to save it?

I can't afford the $600 psychiatrist visits, the $180 therpy sessions, and still have enough money at the end of the month to pay my bills and feed myself.

Meanwhile what, a towing rope is a good $25? SN is a max of $145? What is the fucking point.

I've tried pushing through it my whole life, but I'll never feel genuine excitement again, genuine love, genuine accomplishment. What is there to actually live for?

It's excrutiating. It's genuinely fucking painful. I just want it to end.

How am I supposed to get better, when getting better is something you can't afford?

 

[NihilDoll]

*Insert obligatory rant about the whole world not being made for anyone but Boomers anymore*
It's a topic i've been talking about for years now.
The entire system is nothing but the "Wheel of Pain" from Conan now.

You exist to function. Your value is measured in shareholder profits. You're obligated to spend but not earn. If you don't conform, you get ostracised.
But if you give up? All hell breaks lose. Don't you *dare* break out of the torment nexus made specifically for your suffering! "It will all get better!"

Ironically enough, my bitterness, cynicism and nihilism is what's protecting me the most from committing...
At this point, i might unironically be too angry to die.

 

[LastPenance]

Because profit is always more important to the government, and dead people can't be exploited. I'm sure that's why voluntary euthanasia is only reserved for the terminally ill in many places as well. Someone who is terminally ill isn't going to contribute much in a financial aspect, they can't give profit. So why keep them around? While someone who isn't terminally ill can still be exploited for money.

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

Why is SN this price? I'm from Brazil and found a regional online store of chemicals and they're selling 1KG ~ USD 20.00 (BRL 75.00).

 

[Matchaaa]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this,I know that some forms of therapy can be quite expensive these days, I realized that a while ago, which is why I decided not to go for it myself.

whatever you decide,I hope you find peace and comfort.wishing you all the best.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Assisted suicide is very expensive- I believe. Some suicide methods I suppose are cheap although- they weren't primarily designed to be used for suicide.

Life is expensive though- unfortunately. Healthcare especially.

 

[Pure Vanilla]

I wish I could get better. I wish I could be a happy, functioning human being.

Why is the permenant end to my life more cost effective than trying to save it?

I can't afford the $600 psychiatrist visits, the $180 therpy sessions, and still have enough money at the end of the month to pay my bills and feed myself.

Meanwhile what, a towing rope is a good $25? SN is a max of $145? What is the fucking point.

I've tried pushing through it my whole life, but I'll never feel genuine excitement again, genuine love, genuine accomplishment. What is there to actually live for?

It's excrutiating. It's genuinely fucking painful. I just want it to end.

How am I supposed to get better, when getting better is something you can't afford?

because ones an instant solution that requires one thing or potentially nothing when done right and the other requires high effort and multiple people, even if it was completely free you could easily argue it costs more as it takes up alot of time

 

[Macedonian1987]

Why is SN this price? I'm from Brazil and found a regional online store of chemicals and they're selling 1KG ~ USD 20.00 (BRL 75.00).

The large cost is probably because the OP is refering to the finest purest SN there is. This SN costs astronomic amount of money because it is with 99,999% purity. 100g of it in europe costs 370 euros.

 

[Afterglow]

The large cost is probably because the OP is refering to the finest purest SN there is. This SN costs astronomic amount of money because it is with 99,999% purity. 100g of it in europe costs 370 euros.

it's only 99.0% but honestly it's super hard to get so that probably contributes to it.

 

[Aflame5926]

*Insert obligatory rant about the whole world not being made for anyone but Boomers anymore*
It's a topic i've been talking about for years now.
The entire system is nothing but the "Wheel of Pain" from Conan now.

You exist to function. Your value is measured in shareholder profits. You're obligated to spend but not earn. If you don't conform, you get ostracised.
But if you give up? All hell breaks lose. Don't you *dare* break out of the torment nexus made specifically for your suffering! "It will all get better!"

Ironically enough, my bitterness, cynicism and nihilism is what's protecting me the most from committing...
At this point, i might unironically be too angry to die.

this is pretty much on point.

but to expand a little bit on it. society is pretty much min maxing. minimum effort maximum profit. but they are going to the extreme on this.
they will be changing the rule so the human factor would be considerd "expandable". ya with 3 options.
1 go with the flow
2 dont go with the flow but life (pretty brutal ngl)
3 die.

if anybody would say other option be there please do add to it.
but i only see these 3 options that are valid. yep

 

[Macedonian1987]

it's only 99.0% but honestly it's super hard to get so that probably contributes to it.

If you are buying it from a local chemical store it shouldn't be so expensive for 99% purity, as SN is not rare nor it is hard to synthesize. If you are buying it from some shady (mostly reliable) sources like DSL then it doesn't surprise me if they ramp up the price. These people earn or our desperation.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

Unfortunately, the human world requires money. The human looked at a free world and decided to put prices on everything and fight each other to create hierarchy and status. And this is what they try and sell to us. Adjusting to this is called "getting better." That's why I'd rather just leave. I'm glad I'm not part of this and I'm glad I don't see readjusting to the "normal" human world as getting better.

"It is no mark of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

The large cost is probably because the OP is refering to the finest purest SN there is. This SN costs astronomic amount of money because it is with 99,999% purity. 100g of it in europe costs 370 euros.

It says "PA" in the product title which means "Pure for Analysis" and "ACS (American Chemical Society)".



The announce seems very limited of information, I searched through a few online stores and none of them explicit says the puresness in %.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Not really. How come no one on this site ever talks about death costs? Be for real rn. Coffins and caskets are expensive. Transporting bodies cost something. Graves are expensive. From where I'm from, it's taxed. Cremation is as expensive as a motocycle.

Long term, maybe. Short term, they're all expensive. They don't want you to die but they don't want you to enjoy living either

So frustrating.

 

[Macedonian1987]

It says "PA" in the product title which means "Pure for Analysis" and "ACS (American Chemical Society)".



The announce seems very limited of information, I searched through a few online stores and none of them explicit says the puresness in %.

That explains why it costs so much. Regualar cheap 99% SN has 1% impurities that consists of metals and other "junk" that can react chemically with many other chemicals.
The expensive "Pure for Analysis" or as in Europe they call it "Pro Analysi" . In that type of SN those 1% are inert metals and elements that don't react chemically with most chemicals.

You will ctb with either SN, the higher cost of the "Pure for Analysis" SN is justified if you are a chemist and you use your SN in some chemical experiments that demand very high purity.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

The thing my former boss often told me is this:
"You can't please everyone; control the things you can control, one step at a time."

For whoever has, to them more will be given until they have it abundantly. But whoever does not have, even what they think they have shall be taken from them. (Matthew 13:12)

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Not really. How come no one on this site ever talks about death costs? Be for real rn. Coffins and caskets are expensive. Transporting bodies cost something. Graves are expensive. From where I'm from, it's taxed. Cremation is as expensive as a motocycle.

Because the time investment itself, aside from all the appointment/medication costs, is quite deep. I think that's the part the thread is missing. Not to advocate for people dying, people should absolutely try to get better if they can, but having been through the ringer of the healthcare system and still experiencing chronic depression and suicidal ideation, I believe it would've been better had I committed suicide the first opportunity I had. The first time I got depressed years ago, back when Nembutal was still available and I didn't know about it because the thought of suicide wasn't on my mind, I should've taken my life. Again, people should try to get better, I'm not trying to make my case some individualized story when there are plenty of people here that have gone through the same experience, people who may have found a desire to live or at least ridden themselves of the desire to die or those who still are stuck in this same trap I'm in. But time is expensive and when you go through therapy and medication other treatment options all to try and "cure" an ideation and it all fails, it begins to feel like you've just been wasting time.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Because the time investment itself, aside from all the appointment/medication costs, is quite deep. I think that's the part the thread is missing. Not to advocate for people dying, people should absolutely try to get better if they can, but having been through the ringer of the healthcare system and still experiencing chronic depression and suicidal ideation, I believe it would've been better had I committed suicide the first opportunity I had. The first time I got depressed years ago, back when Nembutal was still available and I didn't know about it because the thought of suicide wasn't on my mind, I should've taken my life. Again, people should try to get better, I'm not trying to make my case some individualized story when there are plenty of people here that have gone through the same experience, people who may have found a desire to live or at least ridden themselves of the desire to die or those who still are stuck in this same trap I'm in. But time is expensive and when you go through therapy and medication other treatment options all to try and "cure" an ideation and it all fails, it begins to feel like you've just been wasting time.

It's been said before but I'm going to say it again. I've been at the receiving end of a depressed person who committed suicide not long ago.

Meds don't work and as everyone knows, depressions comes and goes. All the treatments, on top of everything, must make you feel like a complete burden on friends and families--especially for having put them through the lows of your depressive episodes for years. It's not easy to look these people in the eyes when you know that they must all walk on eggshells with your mental illness.

But they're there for you. If your family's not there, I'm sure that there are some friends. If friends are not there, there's gotta be people from support groups.

I'm guessing that when it's dark and you've exerted all attempts just to find that little to nothing changes, it's best to just end it all. I could never accept this because I am never in your shoes and never in hers.

I do hope that you're saying all this because you are 100% sure that no one else cares anymore and has given up on supporting you, no one is fighting for you and with you anymore.

I don't doubt that some families and social circles are far from supportive and understanding at times.