Discussion why do you do SH

[blackorchid]

just curious, what makes you hurt youself? personally, I do it because I wanna feel something... and I have something weird going on with blades.

what about y'all?

 

[absolutethistime]

A sense of control and relief over the internal pain.

Sometimes as a form of self punishment.

 

[blackorchid]

A sense of control and relief over the internal pain.

Sometimes as a form of self punishment.

same here. self punishment is real. I rather hurt myself than someone else... and I pretty much (feel like) deserve it.

sending you a big hug <3

 

[3FailedAttemptss]

Cause I want/need to. It doesn't help me though TwT

 

[maki]

ive stopped cutting since then but partly because i was sad and unable to accept things as how they were and partly to get pity and attention from my fp

 

[Sept1stismyenemy]

I just listen to my brain it screens at me that I need to feel pain or just feel something in my control, i love watching the blood run down my body, and i love my scars

 

[alivebutnotliving]

i love seeing my inner pain reflected and feeling it. so addicting, unfortunately

 

[fadinghalo]

Usually when I sh it's very impulsive, whenever something makes me feel distressed I get this strong urge to hurt myself to externalize that feeling. Whether I'm upset at myself or someone else it doesn't matter, I always end up taking it out on myself.

 

[absolutethistime]

same here. self punishment is real. I rather hurt myself than someone else... and I pretty much (feel like) deserve it.

sending you a big hug <3

Its unlikely you deserve it, how come you feel that way?

 

[mars2027]

Self-punishment. Most of the times when I fail to control myself and end up doing things I know are wrong.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

My intense emotions due to my bpd. :p

 

[blackorchid]

I just listen to my brain it screens at me that I need to feel pain or just feel something in my control, i love watching the blood run down my body, and i love my scars

same here, I unexpectedly enjoy watching the blood run through. I still cut myself very slightly tho.

Usually when I sh it's very impulsive, whenever something makes me feel distressed I get this strong urge to hurt myself to externalize that feeling. Whether I'm upset at myself or someone else it doesn't matter, I always end up taking it out on myself.

it's hard, right? whenever I have a heated argument, I can't help but release my frustration and anger on my self.

Its unlikely you deserve it, how come you feel that way?

long story short, low self steem. and whatever you repeat for long enough, becomes true in your mind. I feel like I'm just inferior in every aspect of life and end up punishing myself for that. I've tried to make it different, but one way or another, I always end up in the same path. (TMI sorry)

 

[absolutethistime]

same here, I unexpectedly enjoy watching the blood run through. I still cut myself very slightly tho.


it's hard, right? whenever I have a heated argument, I can't help but release my frustration and anger on my self.


long story short, low self steem. and whatever you repeat for long enough, becomes true in your mind. I feel like I'm just inferior in every aspect of life and end up punishing myself for that. I've tried to make it different, but one way or another, I always end up in the same path. (TMI sorry)

I see. How old are you? Self esteem tends to increase later in life.

 

[idfwlnh]

First is punishment, then idk how I started to embrace the pain, it feels addictive, and give me a sense of relief, then, it became kinda a habit for 2 years or so. Sadly, it came with consequences that my mental health got worsened before my body just start shaking all up and I can't even walk anymore, totally dependent on wheelchairs. So I stopped, only then the shaking stops 9of course with help of plenty meds) so even tho I still enjoy SH, I don't do it anymore

 

[blackorchid]

I see. How old are you? Self esteem tends to increase later in life.

early twenties. I've hated myself for as long as I can remember, I don't know. thank you for your reply

First is punishment, then idk how I started to embrace the pain, it feels addictive, and give me a sense of relief, then, it became kinda a habit for 2 years or so. Sadly, it came with consequences that my mental health got worsened before my body just start shaking all up and I can't even walk anymore, totally dependent on wheelchairs. So I stopped, only then the shaking stops 9of course with help of plenty meds) so even tho I still enjoy SH, I don't do it anymore

I'm sorry to hear that. it does indeed get dangerous at some point since you loose track of reality, so to speak. I'm glad to hear you're doing better.

 

[mikidagreen]

i dont deserve anything good and the feeling of cuts feels nice and i can pretend i may bleed out

 

[cubeuwu]

My intense emotions due to my bpd. :p

same here, I think dr.k's quote really captures my intent
"when the pain gets so intense on the inside, if I start cutting the pain of the physical sensation of the cut actually knocks the emotional pain out of my mind"
and while going over his interactions with his patients he says
"people with bpd often times do things that are not damaging to the body but actually experience the highest amount of pain"

 

[Cauliflour]

I'm addicted and I don't care anymore.

 

[sinnrr-sistrr]

I'll just quote what I told @hurts2b

To me it was always in response to strong emotions. Cutting gave me something else to focus on, as we say in french, "changer le mal de place" (moving the pain). Then taking care of it took my attention away from my thoughts during depressive episodes. Also, seeing my blood and my scars made me feel validated in my suffering, especially when I was completely let down and ignored by the system and the people around me. Nowadays, the vision of blood became the vision of styro (dermis), but still the same.

 

[LonelyPrince]

It's my coping mechanism, but I also strangely like being covered in scars. I don't even try to hide them and everyone can see them: the socially aware notice them and don't point them out, unlike some dumbasses who can't pick up social cues and do.

I love it, sh it's my internal pain becoming external

 

[chaotic_crow]

just curious, what makes you hurt youself? personally, I do it because I wanna feel something... and I have something weird going on with blades.

what about y'all?

I'm autistic, I can't regulate my emotions well and since I'm in a wheelchair now I've lost my go to coping mechanism (pacing and powwow dancing) so when I have meltdowns I have to have something louder than what I'm feeling. Whether that's sour candy, super loud music (my headphones broke) or hitting myself in the head repeatedly. Lately it's been the hitting cause nothing else it working

 

[LastAcrobat]

I do it as a way to punish myself, and I get somewhat of a sense of pride in the scars.

Sadly I haven't cut deep enough a lot of the times for scars to last a long time :(