Discussion Why are you still here?

[justletmedieplease]

What's your reason for sticking around?

 

[Nymph]

My bunny

 

[nowhere2befound]

Unable to decide the method and time. Don't have sn on hand also :(

 

[Varstraben]

I'm forcing myself to live because curiosity about how the world could be worst by observing human stupidity and laughing at it, but it's just an excuse, it's only because of life instinct and fear. I'm a sissy.

 

[Arnar]

Mom and dad would be very sad, basic. Still stupid for them to allow me to end up very suicidal when my suicide would completely destroy them. Parenting differently so that I would have ended up happier would not have been a large issue

 

[StopPlease]

I'm forcing myself to live because curiosity about how the world could be worst by observing human stupidity and laughing at it, but it's just an excuse, it's only because of life instinct and fear. I'm a sissy.

oh wow same i love laughing at how humanity fails

 

[gtrfvr]

What's your reason for sticking around?

cowardice. sucks.

 

[Kassender]

I'm a pussy.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Can't get SN right now and many pieces have to fall right into place for my plan to work. I need to have privacy, hotel reservations, all the required medications, and to not arouse suspicion around the small number of people who would notice something is up. I refuse to be caught in the act and fail, so I only get one shot at this.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

My list a few months ago had about a dozen people and situations keeping me around. It's dwindled down to less than five. I have everything I need and no hope so I'm just waiting for an impending push from the Universe. I could probably predict what it will be but I'll just wait to be completely surprised.

I was asked today why I don't surrender it again, like I had done in the fall, so I don't tempt myself. No. Just no. I need that bus ticket and I will use it, sooner or later.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Fmlllll I promised I'd stay for someone if I can but I'm at my wit's end, so I don't have much reason to stall. Besides methods, anyway. But I've realised I have nothing! Except ***possibly*** train. The rails are well access protected with CCTV everywhere so even that could get me arrested just for snooping around. The trains slow down at stations, so that could be bad

 

[stygal]

Need to wait for a time when nobody can or will disturb me.

 

[Blowba]

probably wanting to be loved i really want to experience it since its the thing causing me pain and my new goal of wanting to own a cat

 

[Life_and_Death]

My disorders fucking shit up and making it "ok"

 

[Sherri]

Taking one day at a time, some of the meds the doc gave me helps a bit, this community helps double that. Hope you are able to find your way.

 

[262653]

You mean, how do I rationalize myself staying here? My family happen to still taking care about me so I don't have to face homelessness, starvation or poor hygiene as a result of sitting on my ass all day not doing anything productive, and my emotions happen not to be intense enough to motivate me to do something radical with my life, and my primitive brain happened to still be fully functional and is working overtime whenever the lethal danger is identified.

These are just proximal reasons, and behind them would be reasons causing them, and behind those another layer of reasons, and so on. At some point there would be bottleneck reasons, where one thing would make all the other reasons irrelevant, like my death, or death of my parents before giving me birth, or death of their parents before giving them birth, and so on.

 

[Sensei]

Hope.

 

[muffin222]

I swing continuously between wanting to live and wanting to die, so I'm waiting for the pendulum to land firmly on one side. Until then, I feel obligated to continue persevering because I'm technically in "recovery" right now and am seeing a therapist.

 

[nerve]

I'm waiting for my ancient little dog to die first.

 

[clownangel]

Lack of resources, parents, my cat, the half drop of hope. We'll see I guess.

 

[Nodscene]

Just waiting for my order to arrive. I had a failed attempt early Nov and while I'd prefer not to rush into another one I don't have a choice because I'll be out of pain meds soon. I've been without meds twice and I refuse to suffer that much and to that extent for any length of time. Anyone with a conscience wouldn't allow it imo.

 

[sadworld]

uncertainty and anxiety

 

[DivineMedicus]

I can't find any damn SN in Canada.

 

[Sakura94]

Hope.

This is all really.

 

[kappa]

Fear of failure for sure. I was high and I guess attempted a few times but all I got was a tube down my throat and a hospital stay.

I feel like a gun would be the only way to do it.. and guns are kinda scary to me. Also loud which isn't the best.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

the clowns that are supposed to get me my "stuff" can't get their act together...

 

[Ender]

Still waiting for the right time.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

These things seem to take time. I'm angry I might have to take the train. In a way society injures itself by forcing this method as a last resort. Unfortunately it's the train driver and whoever cleans up that pay the biggest price. The more they clamp down on methods, the more drastic people will get.

 

[Catchingdabus27]

My half ass resolve like... whether it be life or death I can only get to the point where the pieces are in place. Not to the pooint of actually using said pieces.

With death I haven't even had time to gain the pieces and I guess that could technically be said for life too which would heavily explain my emptiness towards things.

 

[suicidal-raven]

For my nephews mostly but also my partner and my family and friends. And for the possibility of having kids one day