• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
dying_kwik2000

dying_kwik2000

Member
Nov 1, 2025
70
I can't have bpd because I don't struggle with having a fragmented sense of self. Buy today I started hyperventilating and panicking when my sister didn't let me go to the bank. I earlier had a conversation with my other sister that made her feel disappointed and I was filled with overwhelming feelings that she was angry at me and hated me and that I ruined her life. I don't know why I feel like negative emotions feel so sticky like they can't go away. I started panicking and crying and screaming from overwhelmed because my mother made it worse. I ended up just cutting myself to feel better. I don't know what's wrong with me.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: deeprootdisease and Forever Sleep
E

Endisclose

Specialist
Oct 23, 2023
397
I can't have bpd because I don't struggle with having a fragmented sense of self. Buy today I started hyperventilating and panicking when my sister didn't let me go to the bank. I earlier had a conversation with my other sister that made her feel disappointed and I was filled with overwhelming feelings that she was angry at me and hated me and that I ruined her life. I don't know why I feel like negative emotions feel so sticky like they can't go away. I started panicking and crying and screaming from overwhelmed because my mother made it worse. I ended up just cutting myself to feel better. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I think there are only about 9 major disorders. It may be a good idea to look up symptoms of each, then note down your behavioural symptoms over a period of time and see if you can find a match. The key signs of BPD for me are splitting and shooting anger like from 0 to 100 in a second.

I've tried to control the emotional dysregulation but sometimes the emotion is so overwhelming and strong one feels helpless and is over me before I could even realize it. The hyperventilating and panicking seems like PTSD. Did you mean your sister didn't let you go alone or go with her?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: dying_kwik2000
deeprootdisease

deeprootdisease

( ͒ ́ඉ .̫ ඉ ̀ ͒) they/them
Nov 15, 2025
82
sorry if it's too personal, but what do you mean you don't have a fragmented sense of self?
 
Leonard_Bangley39

Leonard_Bangley39

Hate life but scared of death
Nov 6, 2025
240
a lot of my discord friends have been telling me that i need to get therapy or something, and they're probably right. i might be bipolar
 
  • Like
Reactions: dying_kwik2000
E

Endisclose

Specialist
Oct 23, 2023
397
I forgot to add fear of abandonment is a major indicator of BPD..If your sister didn't let you go with her, it could be fear of abandonment. If she didn't let you go by yourself, that's suppression of agency - I dunno what it would mean in that case but it does explain the emotional dysregulation..
 

Similar threads

bl33ding_heart
Replies
12
Views
294
Suicide Discussion
bl33ding_heart
bl33ding_heart
paperbaghat
Replies
0
Views
170
Suicide Discussion
paperbaghat
paperbaghat
BleedMeAnOcean
Replies
3
Views
244
Suicide Discussion
BleedMeAnOcean
BleedMeAnOcean
Knockout
Replies
5
Views
289
Suicide Discussion
PanaxMan
P