Lost Kin
Infected Wanderer
- Jan 29, 2025
- 11
Even though things in my life get better, I can't help my self and still feel sad or rather empty.
I thought if the things that keep giving me stress would be solved, things would be better, like getting a driving licence or finding a job. But even after I achieved these things, I still felt so empty. It's also not like the rest of my life sucks, I would say I have a good life.
I don't need to worry about money or food, I still have a place to say and a decent relationship with my family and some friends.
Still, I do sometimes feel so lonely at times. There are often days or sometimes weeks without talking to someone. It's mostly because I am the reason for this. I isolate myself and don't talk to someone because I don't want to bother anyone with my problems. In general, I find it really hard to express my feelings or tell the people dearest to me how important they are to me.
Even saying simple things like "I like you" or "you are important to me".
Even when I feel so horrible at times, I don't feel many emotions. I just mostly lie in bed with a blank expression. I can't even cry normally, mostly it's just a few tears, and then I'm back just lying there without much of an expression on my face.
I can remember back then most of my sadness turned into anger against myself and at some instances I even punched my fist bloody against a wall. Nothing serious though, mostly just bruises with some blood.
Just typing this rant out here just makes me feel pathetic. Most of the time I just keep my thoughts to myself, but man, I really think I should let it out sometimes.
I thought if the things that keep giving me stress would be solved, things would be better, like getting a driving licence or finding a job. But even after I achieved these things, I still felt so empty. It's also not like the rest of my life sucks, I would say I have a good life.
I don't need to worry about money or food, I still have a place to say and a decent relationship with my family and some friends.
Still, I do sometimes feel so lonely at times. There are often days or sometimes weeks without talking to someone. It's mostly because I am the reason for this. I isolate myself and don't talk to someone because I don't want to bother anyone with my problems. In general, I find it really hard to express my feelings or tell the people dearest to me how important they are to me.
Even saying simple things like "I like you" or "you are important to me".
Even when I feel so horrible at times, I don't feel many emotions. I just mostly lie in bed with a blank expression. I can't even cry normally, mostly it's just a few tears, and then I'm back just lying there without much of an expression on my face.
I can remember back then most of my sadness turned into anger against myself and at some instances I even punched my fist bloody against a wall. Nothing serious though, mostly just bruises with some blood.
Just typing this rant out here just makes me feel pathetic. Most of the time I just keep my thoughts to myself, but man, I really think I should let it out sometimes.
