who will miss you?

[nails]

i'm sure similar questions have been posted before, so i apologize.

i don't think anyone will miss me at all. none of my family members really care and i have no friends. everyone i meet is seemingly indifferent to my existence. everyone leaves me very easily, i'm just not the kind of person to be missed? i'm not special enough to be missed in any regard. there's no aspect of my being that elicits a sense of attachment.
i feel like i get attached to everyone and everything pretty easily, so that makes everything so much worse. i miss everything as soon as it's gone, so it sucks that i don't evoke such a feeling in anyone else.

my cats might miss me, but they also love my brothers. they'll be okay, i think i overestimated my cats' love for me.
that's all. i doubt anyone else will even think of me for more than a day.

vent incoming
today, my brother randomly asked me about some of my past friends. i talked about my friends very often because i cherished them. they all kinda left around the same time, near the beginning of the year. the conversation was really difficult and awkward, i just said that i don't speak to them as much because i'm too busy. i don't know if he bought that, i just wanted to end the conversation without admitting that i'm a loser who lost literally everyone. he knows that i spent most of my life without friends, i couldn't bring myself to admit that i was back in that position, especially after being so happy about the friends that i had made.
he said things like "whatever happened to x friend? they like [franchise] so they must be a good person", and asking about the games i used to play with my friends. he was mostly joking around, the conversation wasn't serious at all. it really upset me, it just reminded me of the people i miss, and then i started spiraling from there. i do badly enough when i torment myself over these feelings, having another person remind of everything just makes it so much worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

I won't as all will be gone and forgotten in non-existence which is all I hope for, I just want to be unconscious for all eternity with this torturous, painful and harmful existence no longer my problem, only the peace of non-existence can solve everything for me and I'll only be at peace once I no longer suffer in this horrific reality where there is all this endless suffering and torture, for me non-existence is all that could ever be positive, I'd never miss anything about this terrible, painful existence where every second is torture to be conscious, I'll always see existence as a mistake that just causes harm and suffering.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

My supervisor. If I don't show, he has to do actual work.

 

[nails]

My supervisor. If I don't show, he has to do actual work.

i'm in the exact same scenario at my job. my supervisor is a completely incompetent manchild, lol. it's shit, i hope things can improve for you soon.

 

[Dejected 55]

There are maybe a handful of people who say they would miss me... but I know even for them it would just be the first few days. And some of them I go months without any contact anyway, so I could have died months ago and they wouldn't know and wouldn't clearly miss me or they'd say something more often. So I know the reality that it will pass and life will go on. I would want that to be the case anyway... but I'm not the one saying how I would be missed only to forget about me five minutes later.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

My parents, that's all.

I have sisters but I barely see them any more. I doubt they would be upset if I was gone. There isn't enough of a relationship to grieve. Which is sad because we used to be close as children.

 

[Jadotine]

My mom will miss me and some few friends there and there, but I am sure that they will get over it since we're not that close

But I am at a point where I don't really care anymore what they will think...
And so sorry to hear about your friends... I cannot believe in friendships anymore as I've been hurt way too many times in the past because of that. I definitely understand the pain of losing everyone

I also used to get attached to everyone crazy fast, but I've started distancing myself from everyone to avoid that completely. But that also kinda made me like a zombie so not sure if that was the right move lol

 

[Arvayn]

My mother and my two closest friends would all be torn apart by it and likely driven to some kind of suicide themselves.
My sister and grandmother would be very sad and traumatized, but they'd get over it after some processing.

On the flip side, my first ex-girlfriend would laugh about it and find it amusing, while the second and third would be happy and relieved.

Everyone else would offer platitudes and maybe feel a tinge of guilt or sadness, but they ultimately wouldn't care.

 

[ABadPerson]

Depends on what you mean by miss, just dwelling on memories or genuine longing?
I've had people say they 'missed' me but I only really seen it as formality, there's no-one who would truly need me in their life as I am more of a fill-in, like that third friend in the group or some guy someone would date between an on-and-off relationship. Purely background, at best a backup or emotional support. Easily replaceable, malleable, just one of the crowds.

I have to pretend to be something I'm not to build a 'deep' relationship and stuff down all my sorrows while acting as emotional support, yet it never works out in the end anyways so I stopped. I probably think too much on specific people in the past, ironically none of which were romantic yet still, I genuinely miss them but I don't believe the reverse would be at all true.

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

Genuinely no one. If there are any that may, then I will securely make sure that does not come to be. I will create a new image of myself to those who may miss me, in a way so they will hate me. If they can hate myself, then any "good memories" can be both contradicted/confusing and overridden.

I don't do this because I want to horrid, doing this is necessary for their own sanity, their own mental health they may feel after I come to pass. It's easier to just hate someone, it's easy to create hate upon one's self as well. I will commit to such so they will not face such or as much pain.

If my name can be summed up to, "That person was truly disgusting and deserved death", then my goal is complete. I hope to allow others' minds to remain stable without my own fate affecting such, even if it results in tarnish to my very existence and name.

 

[badenddonuts]

i think i'm a minority in the sense that i have a decent amount of people that will "miss me." i have family and friends and such. but none of them will really miss Me. just the person they think i am. there's maybe one person who will really miss me.

 

[Lamentice]

There are people I know miss me me despite me being estranged from them for years & I know would be devastated to hear if I was dead. There are also people in my life currently who don't have enough of a grapple on mental illness to understand what to do with me and yet clearly love and value me very much, I think I might actually blow up their lives if I committed. However, you can be dearly loved and mostly unknown. I am tired of not being known.

 

[ForeverSubhuman]

Only my mother will. It's one of the only things that hold me back. Shes got her issues and I don't want to imagine her suffering.

 

[redmouth]

Waiting for my elderly cat to pass and after that I think no one really will. I'm a background figure in most people's lives if even that and I feel like I will be an easily filled role. People don't truly care about me and that's by design, will make it easier on them all.

 

[darksouls]

in real life I have no social contacts

 

[Busridin'26]

No one. If anything it'll just a relief in many ways to many people that im gone.

 

[ikigaimg]

I'm very close with my mom, she will miss me very much.

 

[violetforever]

there's only one person i know for sure who would miss me and be deeply affected by my permanent absence. my friend who understands me and my problems and listens to them unconditionally because i do the same for her too. my biggest doubt over whether i should ctb or not is because it would feel like taking our friendship for granted. i do realize how lucky i am to have someone like this. i wish everyone here knew of a friendship like ours. my life would quickly become completely pointless without the comfort of having her in my life. (edit: that emoji is so uncute on here)

 

[Pluto]

 

[somi.c]

i'm sure similar questions have been posted before, so i apologize.

i don't think anyone will miss me at all. none of my family members really care and i have no friends. everyone i meet is seemingly indifferent to my existence. everyone leaves me very easily, i'm just not the kind of person to be missed? i'm not special enough to be missed in any regard. there's no aspect of my being that elicits a sense of attachment.
i feel like i get attached to everyone and everything pretty easily, so that makes everything so much worse. i miss everything as soon as it's gone, so it sucks that i don't evoke such a feeling in anyone else.

my cats might miss me, but they also love my brothers. they'll be okay, i think i overestimated my cats' love for me.
that's all. i doubt anyone else will even think of me for more than a day.

vent incoming
today, my brother randomly asked me about some of my past friends. i talked about my friends very often because i cherished them. they all kinda left around the same time, near the beginning of the year. the conversation was really difficult and awkward, i just said that i don't speak to them as much because i'm too busy. i don't know if he bought that, i just wanted to end the conversation without admitting that i'm a loser who lost literally everyone. he knows that i spent most of my life without friends, i couldn't bring myself to admit that i was back in that position, especially after being so happy about the friends that i had made.
he said things like "whatever happened to x friend? they like [franchise] so they must be a good person", and asking about the games i used to play with my friends. he was mostly joking around, the conversation wasn't serious at all. it really upset me, it just reminded me of the people i miss, and then i started spiraling from there. i do badly enough when i torment myself over these feelings, having another person remind of everything just makes it so much worse.

My sister

 

[themindian]

Hopefully those that hear my name that I've personally made smile or laugh or influenced for the better throughout my life..there were a lot of them but idk if they would remember me.

Honestly idk if my mom will be sad when I die cuz she's probably sick of me venting to her about the same exact very simple yet so very complicated problem that absolutely will not change, so she might be at peace once I'm finally at rest.

But other than her I don't have any friends so probably no one lol.

 

[Feldsparc]

My son. We are very close. But I've done a terrible thing that I can't live with. It's driving me crazy. I need to leave him

 

[Misanthrope0000]

I will be missed, by my friends, my family, my partner, I'm not suicidal because of loneliness or isolation, but because of my environment, society and poverty as a whole.

Maybe my suicidal reasons may be a little rare in this forums, but for most suicidal people I know in real life want to CTB because of this country and society, not because of personal issues,we live like bugs that even love and friendships isn't enough to make us happy.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

"You can't please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha

Though a world without me would be awfully dull and grey, this isn't up to me— if I perish, I perish; though my father, mother, and the whole world forsake me, the Lord will bring me up. (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)

 

[Imausername]

Sad answer but work. They sent a slack, phone call, text message, email, linked in and stuff when i went no show bc i was locked up. no one else came calling for me. Work is always the one to first notice since you have a daily obligation to be there. If you go afk and stop replying to friends nothing really happens they move on.

ohhh i read the title the wrong way round lol

 

[Bishop]

I am not sure. And honestly I don't really care. The thought is simply not to exist.

 

[Lilythefenfen]

My friends know I'm suicidal as fuck, I keep trying to let them know to, just like let me go when it happens.

I know my dad will be fucking heartbroken when he finds my corpse, but... at the same time I won't be like... seen as female? That's fucking... like... Rough as shit for me.

My best friends in the whole world are suicidal too, and I know she might find her way on this website one day, fuck there's a possibility she'll see this very message. She keeps telling me if I do decide to go through with it, to just be kind to myself. I've suffered enough she said... That hits me straight in my feelings because she does care.

Shit even as I type this, my partner is listening to me on discord talking. well not really talking, I haven't been one with words. I know he probably fucking hates me being here, but I'm just so fucking tired.

I know I'm loved, but the wounds are way too fucking deep to just heal anymore. I have bloody fingers from the constant picking of scabs just to feel anything else other than pain and shit, and my minds racing a mile a minute.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it would be in a vague way by a small handful of people. Because- I'm only on the periphery of their lives. Asides from my Dad- who I believe it would affect deeply- hence- I feel like I have to try and stay while he's still here, there simply aren't many people really in my life. One friend I text with regularly may miss that. Asides from that, I think people will miss the idea of who they thought I was.

I don't really see that as a negative though. I've somewhat purposefully let friendships/ family drift in the hopes it will be easier on them. It means that I feel freer to go too. Truthfully, it's a nightmare feeling like I'm stuck here because of my tethers to my Dad.

I've heard the phrase that- 'If you have someone here who would miss you- you have a reason to stay.' I'd say it's more like we may feel an obligation to stay- so as not to hurt them. It doesn't necessarily mean they are an emotional support in our lives. And- that in itself can create resentment. That we are staying purely for their benefit- at the cost of ours the entire time.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

No one. And I'm fine with that. I don't even want my memory to be alive in this hellscape.

 

[compulsoryaliveness]

I don't know about missing exactly. My sister and her family, for sure. Maybe some friends.

But really, they will all get over it. I have been prepping them for my death since I was 8 years old. I think they will celebrate that I made it to my 30s.

I am truly living on bonus episodes, and they know it. Miss me maybe, but I have made myself so seperate over years from their lives. They won't miss me for long.