Venting Who/what do you blame for your desire to CTB?

[33K1LLM3]

Simple, my parents, the teachers I have had, a few people who I met, my family and who knows I have a few people in my mind

 

[darksouls]

our perverse society is to blame for everything
if my parents had not received money from the state for me
they would not have had children

 

[bananaolympus]

My genetics i guess my mental health problems started out of nowhere from a cold once i recovered wasn't covid that was 10 years ago

 

[iwantitover]

Probably the fact my biological mother who gave me special needs through drinking In pregnancy which has caused me to be bullied and underestimated my entire life because of this I've attended a special needs school which screwed me up even more social workers keeping me in that school till the point where I nearly had a mental breakdown as well as the fact I've been bullied most of my life my first attempt I was 13 im almost 20 have no gcse exams which is half of a high school diploma for you Americans I also have had to deal with the breakdown of my first relationship with a girl and death of a loved one which has caused Me to attempt sucide five times over the last month two attempts got stopped by my friends then the other one I texted my ex a goodbye messege and she called the cops like seriously the least you can do Is let me die but yea that's why I'm like I am .

 

[Dejected 55]

The song "No one is to blame" by Howard Jones in 1985. It's a good listen and I identify a lot with the lyrics.

 

[Parnate]

Only myself. There were other factors, and no small share of trauma, but the way I feel and act now points to it being true all along that I am just fundamentally at odds with life like I always felt I was. Now I'm just Machiavellian and remorseless about it until my very fast approaching end.

It would be nice and easy to blame anybody else, and maybe The System or my parents bear some of that blame, but I think it's more honest to assume it now. I'll take it with me, if I don't pass it on to those who knew and loved me.

U seem to be a very nice person ., also emotionally mature

 

[deathisapanacea]

Only myself. I am a deeply flawed person who is a bad son, husband, sibling, dad, friend etc. I tried fixing my personality but could not sustain for long. I've given up on fixing myself. I just want shit to end.

 

[wham311]

Myself. It is no one else's fault but my own.

And the only way I can deal with it is to crash out and blame others. But I know better

I did get dealt a shitty hand on a lot of stuff though. A lot of stuff, worst case.

 

[knickknack81]

Me. Not focusing on my relationships the way I should to the point that I am more alone then I have ever felt in my life. I have always been a somewhat independent person but this past year after getting out a long term relationship, I feel more isolated and sad and depressed than ever in my life. That combined with work/financial issues I did to myself makes me only blame myself for the way I am feeling. Even though I have decent moments/days here and there, more and more I find myself getting closer to CTB time.

 

[LetMeOut67]

I see myself as a victim of the brutal natural order, pecking order, natural selection whatever.
It's absolutely obvious that some are born to lose.
Though of course people will blame you for failing when you never stood a chance against the genetically superior.
This is why I think voluntary assisted euthanasia should be legalised as I consider that life is a fate worse than death for the weak. Those who wish to live and procreate - fine , their choice but be prepared for the drudgery and meaningless of existence.

 

[kitkat9234]

Myself.

 

[CatLvr]

Side effect of a medication to lower my blood pressure (attenolol). I stopped taking the medication, but the thoughts have remained.

 

[hippiedeath]

I blame the universe. The randomness of fate. Existence hates people, and life likes the strong. Darwinism

 

[niceday]

God and myself.

 

[RadiantNumber]

Entire society and it's vision of world

 

[soolka]

in the end i can only blame myself for making the decisions i did

 

[jazzcat621]

Human nature. It is because of how everyone is inherently selfish, quick to hate, anger, fear, etc that i want to CTB. People could choose to be nice but instead they bully the person who needs the most help and support. People hate what doesn't fit in, who does things differently. People assume malice over mistake because its easier, it makes people feel good. People would rather drag down someone who is successful than praise their success. It creates a culture of low trust. We have the resources to provide food, water, shelter, emotional support, etc for everyone who cant get it themselves, but everyone would rather hate the person who needs more than just simply give a negligible amount of resources to care for them.

 

[jenson]

Its really my own fault. My friends and family have told me they love me but it never feels like it means anything. I always feel out of place no matter where I am or who I'm with. My romantic life fell off hard as well. I dated a bit in my teens but my 20s was completely dry. I'm 31 now with everyone around me getting married or with an SO but I'm just sitting here wondering how I ever had a girlfriend at any point in the first place. I work in an ICU, seeing death all the time at my job and can't do anything to stop it. I'm not as assertive as my preceptor so I don't have the balls to tell the residents off when I feel like they they arent treating a patient properly. I feel like a disappointment as a nurse. I fell for a coworker which was a bad idea. She rejected me which was probably the smart move. Even though she was cool about it, I feel like a bad person for even asking her out. It also left me feeling kinda unwanted. Honestly I feel like a disappointment in general. I've been stuck on a phrase I heard in Bojack Horseman "Everybody loves you but nobody likes you". I feel like this best describes my life right now. I'm honestly just kinda done with it all.

 

[orcapythia]

I wish it was my fault fully but it isn't