Discussion Who else is grieving the life they could have had?

[Hollowman]

I used to grieve about it hard but I've come to accept my shitty fate.

 

[yomander369]

What the title says. Who else is grieving the life they could have had if certain things in their lives hadn't happened or had a different outcome?

In my case, I failed big in life a few years ago and now I'm rotting at home after I finally gave up about 2 years ago. The "positive" thing is that it didn't get worse after giving up but it also didn't get better. If I hadn't failed in life I could live through my best years - living life not having to rot away while still being alive.

What's the use of being alive while not being able to live life?

I could have married the love of my life if I didn't get randomly injured. We wanted to have children and buy a house together. I moved to NY to start a new job. Everything was perfect and the I got injured badly.

 

[divinemistress87]

I believe life is suffering no matter what but without mental illness and brain injury it could have been a neutral life with a decent career, house, and maybe some traveling

 

[leloyon]

Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month. Words cannot express the amount of regret I have towards my own life. I just wish things could have been different, I just wish things could have been better.
Hell, I signed off my suicide note with that.

It just hurts so fucking much. Knowing how my life went, knowing all the ways it could have been better and knowing how fucked up it went. Some of them were completely outside of my control. I have to reckon with the fact that the bleak circumstances I live in, the utter lack of hope, are all due to things that had happened before I could even comprehend them, let alone change them.

I want to die, so I can be reincarnated. And hopefully the afterlife will offer me a better chance. Sometimes I've wondered if this is all karma for something I did in a past life... I don't know what I could have done to deserve this.

 

[JesiBel]

I had many dreams and a zest for life... but life has always denied me everything, pushing me into the abyss. I no longer have a reason to exist; I'm just living pointlessly. I accepted the reality, no matter what I do, this world is not my place.

 

[GuppyBoyo]

crazy thing is
if i was to be sent back in time to make this life any different

i wouldnt be able to do jack shit, not a force in the universe would have stopped what was happening to me, not a thing could have been done

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I did it for years, but eventually got to a point where I stopped wanting pretty much anything. This results in just trying to figure out how to slog along to the graveyard without too much bright and loud garbage the world calls "happiness."

 

[sunnyside]

I used to grieve but not anymore, I had all these thoughts like "I could've been a doctor, I could've been a tattoo artist, I could've been happy on a farm" but now I can't even imagine what type of life I would have, even if I was totally healthy and happy. I just can't imagine another life anymore at all
So I also can't really grieve anymore if that makes sense

 

[w1ngedpearl]

I had every opportunity. I was born in a pretty rich family. Had a wonderful childhood, travelled, thought that I would be as successful as my parents are. Then I slowly fucked up everything. Didn't finish the university, got many loans, did absolutely nothing useful (just spent all the time in a bed). Both of my brothers work and study while I have zero job skills and aren't good at anything. I don't know why I turned out to be such a mistake compared to them. I guess every family has that one person who had potential but then became a total failure. Sometimes I'm grieving my possible "other life" and "other self", however I gave up on myself and on my future.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Never really thought about it like that, but as a person with DID, and PTSD; maybe I am grieving for what is lost? I'll just say a normal life. A life were I was more functional. I'm not really functional anymore, buy what is there to do? Ctb, or put one foot in front of the other about sums it up.

 

[notreallybored]

Wish I've never drinked alcohol, the biggest gateway drug of them all.

ב''ה,
Y'know, this is still a hard one to swallow but.. let's say everyone started deconstructing the 'walking around like a Russian poet is the only thing males are allowed after tragedy,' and I'm so dang religious because G-d threw in some stuff about keeping to kosher liquor and you can't go abusing kosher liquor although plenty do.

Honestly, I can't go doing that anymore, and handles of vodka plus benzos.. not actually going to recommend, hard to live down, but what's also amazing about drinking culture and getting out to the bars as I'm not sure if is how anyone should spend their 20s (first there was AIDS, now there's that and COVID and.. people generally) is that the number of people who drink *and then do anything else* has dwindled, and if you hang around the drinking crowd, y'know, half of them will want to do the 'anything else' drunk, and a chunk of the other half will be mostly concerned about what lets them keep drinking so damn much and maybe whatever grind and hustle supports that, as has so many legal issues and/or ridiculous healthcare issues if there's much difference.

Further, not that this was all that 20 years ago when it was different times, but with the enshittification of everything, and I'm going to throw some weird shade on the tweaker Puritan culture here although basically that's what G-d wrote in USA, a night of drinking used to be maybe questionable, while now if a night of drinking is waking up with all your bank stuff compromised, cards stolen, blah blah blah, exceptionally why bother?

 

[hereornot]

It's sad to think that the knowledge I have now could of given me a completely different outcome to where I've ended up. That say knowledge is power but without it you're powerless. Unfortunately it's too late now. All I can do now is just look at trying to finish what I started many years and maybe one day I can finally CTB.

Here too. It's too late....

 

[ForeverLonely82]

oh absolutely! I also grieve how everyone around me has had it easier with the things I desire out of life too. Like shit is handed to them or know connections or even maintain friendships. I always ask my self "what is wrong with that I can't be looked at with care,love and real feelings instead of fake ones" I swear to christ I have a hex over me that says "AVOID!" even though I consider myself as real as they come and don't sugar coat anything in life if someone wants to hear it. I sometimes wish my wife would leave so I can rot and die in peace.

 

[mourningyesterday]

100% and its eaten away at me for years, stupid naive decisions and not taking care of my health. squandered my chance at a life.

 

[bananaolympus]

I do sometimes there is a chance my life could have a different outcome but i do not regret it because how could i know how it will turn out? it was a domino effect that took years to catch me

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I guess every family has that one person who had potential but then became a total failure.

Relatable. Among my family and relatives I'm that person who had potential but became a total failure later in life.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Relatable. Among my family and relatives I'm that person who had potential but became a total failure later in life.

Yes. I was considered talented, charismatic and likeable but was never given the chance to show it and now that boy has middle aged and all the spark is gone.

 

[Trakehner]

I deal with regrets every day about what could've been. I had so much potential when I was young. I could've had it all. Instead, I unintentionally ruined everything and must live with the pain of all that's happened until the day I die (hopefully in less than a year).

 

[SecretDissociation]

Hope I didn't answer on this thread yet!

I grieve what my life could've been if I wasn't undiagnosed autistic until 19... Or what it could've been like without my father pushing religion on me, or what it could have been like if teachers and the like listened to my cries for help. Or hell, what it could've been like if I was just normal. So much potential was lost to depression and mental health so bad a stranger could spot it, yet nobody in my life who knew me took it seriously.

 

[waitin2go]

I grieve the fact that if my dad listened to my mum, I wouldn't have been born (mom requested IUD but dad refused, even till the last minute (condom) coz his manlihood was threatened)

As all parent do, they did their best but having an unplanned extra child put a heavy strain on their finances and mental health, and they were bitter and resentul throughout my childhood. People say you can start a new slate when you're an adult, I tried and failed miserably and am just an empty shell now

So maybe apart from that I also grieve that I failed to escape my childhood trauma

 

[sanction]

What the title says. Who else is grieving the life they could have had if certain things in their lives hadn't happened or had a different outcome?

In my case, I failed big in life a few years ago and now I'm rotting at home after I finally gave up about 2 years ago. The "positive" thing is that it didn't get worse after giving up but it also didn't get better. If I hadn't failed in life I could live through my best years - living life not having to rot away while still being alive.

What's the use of being alive while not being able to live life?

All the time. My mind is just constantly rotating between the past, while worrying / dreading about the future. Life is tiring