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xi0ni

xi0ni

way out of here
Apr 8, 2023
19
what is driving you to suicide? what is your biggest issue that causes you constant stress and anxiety?
 
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D

deathslament

Student
Mar 16, 2024
149
Why do you want to know? Who are you?
 
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I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,218
Loneliness
Anxiety
Being tortures by my mind
Sometimes depression hits me out of nowhere and for no reason

Not sure which is my top problem they are all equally horrific
 
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xi0ni

xi0ni

way out of here
Apr 8, 2023
19
Why do you want to know? Who are you?
what? you don't have to answer if you don't want to?
Loneliness
Anxiety
Being tortures by my mind
Sometimes depression hits me out of nowhere and for no reason

Not sure which is my top problem they are all equally horrific
what are you anxious about? if you don't mind me asking
 
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L

LittleCupcake

Experienced
Mar 14, 2024
205
What makes you think stress and or anxiety is the driving factor?
 
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kilowatt

kilowatt

Ciao mamacita
Sep 9, 2023
384
Myself
 
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I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,218
what? you don't have to answer if you don't want to?

what are you anxious about? if you don't mind me asking
The future
Not having anything to look forward too
Crowded places
Anxious ill never get better after 8 years of trying
Financial issues
 
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Z-A

Z-A

Let me go
Mar 3, 2024
351
Anxiety and panic disorder. Basically mental conditions paired with physical symptoms. It has negative impact on my daily life. Dependant on drugs to battle this unfortunately.
 
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heisenberg

heisenberg

well, good luck babe !
May 18, 2020
185
not doing anything productive in my life
agoraphobia
bpd
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it's darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
9,012
ASD and having to eventually work for a living in order to survive. I want no part in society. It's a pyramid scheme, and I don't want to enter it. I just don't see the point. I also don't want to get old or become a shell of my former self. I would hate to see myself get old and wrinkly. I'm not going to live out middle age or old age
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,707
Because I don't wish to suffer for decades just to be tormented by old age in this pointless existence, simply being conscious and aware is tiring. What I have a problem with is existence itself, it disturbs me how there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get, all I wish for is the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is finally erased and forgotten about. Existing causes me anxiety as in existence there is endless potential for suffering and so much harm, in my case I really wish I never existed. I have no interest in the futile, meaningless and torturous imposistion that is human existence, I just don't believe existence to be desirable in general.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,796
My biggest issue is that I'm alive despite only suffering in existence and not experiencing any joy. I don't have any interests so there's nothing that I like. I'm permanently too fucked up developmentally to make friends which means that I'll have to live the rest of my life without a single friend. I never wanted to be anything in life nor did I want to live through life so the studies that I'm doing in university all feels so pointless, painful and dreadful. Reading my previous sentence would automatically make some, or most, people say something along the lines of "maybe what you're doing in university isn't for you, perhaps there's something better for you" etc but, in my case, there isn't anything better for me. No matter what I do, I'll always feel the same because my brain has automatically been wired to not really want to do anything within life and there's nothing I can do to change this.

All in all, my brain was just made to not want to like life at all and to only suffer through the moments in which I'm awake. I want to kill myself so that I can save myself from decades of decades of suffering and also because I never really belonged in life in the first place. I could never relate to humanity when they had passions, hobbies, entertainment, happiness etc etc. Why are they all so insistent on wanting to do stuff in life? I don't get it and I never will because my neurotype is simply incompatible with life whereas it's highly compatible with permanent non existence. Always was and always have been
 
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U

uzuf86

Too many mistakes and regrets
Jan 1, 2024
232
When I was young I never thought my life would end so abruptly and I would be the one to kill myself.
But thanks to my mental health issues, I've become an irreparable piece of crap now
 
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leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
1,212
Autism, inability to be casually social. Every problem in my life stems from that.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it's darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
9,012
My biggest issue is that I'm alive despite only suffering in existence and not experiencing any joy. I don't have any interests so there's nothing that I like. I'm permanently too fucked up developmentally to make friends which means that I'll have to live the rest of my life without a single friend. I never wanted to be anything in life nor did I want to live through life so the studies that I'm doing in university all feels so pointless, painful and dreadful. Reading my previous sentence would automatically make some, or most, people say something along the lines of "maybe what you're doing in university isn't for you, perhaps there's something better for you" etc but, in my case, there isn't anything better for me. No matter what I do, I'll always feel the same because my brain has automatically been wired to not really want to do anything within life and there's nothing I can do to change this.

All in all, my brain was just made to not want to like life at all and to only suffer through the moments in which I'm awake. I want to kill myself so that I can save myself from decades of decades of suffering and also because I never really belonged in life in the first place. I could never relate to humanity when they had passions, hobbies, entertainment, happiness etc etc. Why are they all so insistent on wanting to do stuff in life? I don't get it and I never will because my neurotype is simply incompatible with life whereas it's highly compatible with permanent non existence. Always was and always have been
What would you have majored in if you had a choice?
 
pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,492
That they birthed me into this evil world .
That a sentience / consciousness developed in this brain that can suffer unbearable constant unending unbearable pain

That life is meaningless suffering

That I like every human imo is a cells monster with 30 trillion human cells and 30 trillion more bacteria, fungi , parasites , face mites inside and on this decaying animal body they call a human body


That's just some thousands more reasons
 
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L

LifeIsCrazyNemb

Arcanist
Jan 21, 2024
400
what is driving you to suicide? what is your biggest issue that causes you constant stress and anxiety?
Basically, Im not able to find a meaning for life.
I dont have strong reasons that motivate me to endure my daily suferrings.

"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." - Victor Frankl
 
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K

Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,097
Flashbacks, nightmares, dissociation. Complex PTSD, Autism, CFS. Surviving child sexual abuse and every form of child abuse throughout my childhood. Homelessness as a teenager 14/15 onwards - though I was safe from rape and beatings from that point. Loneliness (I just don't feel that anyone can ever know the real me). Feel like a child sometimes despite being in my 40s and hold down a responsible jobs. Being a brilliant mum abd still feeling extremely suicidal and feeling like crap for feeling suicidal or for the suicide attempts and not being abke to access NHS treatment as NHS rules and staff and I appear to be on different planets. Would probably be dead on 20 June anyway. End of story. Gone. Just need to stay alive till then as my youngest has exams. Then will be gone - and will not look like suicide. No more flashbacks, nightmares, rejections even by medics - end of misery. Flying solo without contact with any medics and happy to continue to hide and mask and just die in 3 months time
 
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Aleko leonidze

Aleko leonidze

And in the end i'm all by myself once again
Mar 22, 2024
5
no money and no friends. everything i do in life i have to do alone. every challenge i face i have to solve on my own. very little gives me pleasure. most of my life is consumed by work.
 
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natthebrat

natthebrat

only help i want is with ctb
Jul 9, 2023
188
The realization that no matter what I do for a living, it's going to involve talking to people and thus be extremely stressful for me.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,722
Brain injury
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,796
What would you have majored in if you had a choice?
The point of my entire post was that I don't want to major in anything to begin with. There just isn't a single thing that I enjoy or want to do
 
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3/4Dead

3/4Dead

Peace, Love, Empathy
Feb 27, 2024
450
Mental illnesses, trauma and the deepest running casual self loathing i've ever seen. Its like living with a shitty roomate, but I'm also the roomate.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it's darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
9,012
Basically, Im not able to find a meaning for life.
I dont have strong reasons that motivate me to endure my daily suferrings.

"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." - Victor Frankl
Autism, inability to be casually social. Every problem in my life stems from that.
Same
 
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Final_Choice

Final_Choice

Mage
Aug 3, 2023
542
All my illnesses with no cure, but they're not terminal just very life-debilitating so it can't kill me directly.
 
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trashprincess

trashprincess

She/Slur
Aug 8, 2023
186
Mental disability and trauma. Can't provide for myself, and I feel I'm incapable of connecting with other people.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it's darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
9,012
not doing anything productive in my life
agoraphobia
I'm not doing anything productive in my life either, but I don't see this as a problem. Why are people expected to be productive? Maybe my burnout has changed me…I was a driven, hardworking and motivated student but I failed to launch after college. I see no point in participating in this pyramid scheme of a society
 
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