What is the worst form of abuse you have endured so far in your life?

[iwanttodie019]

.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Bullying in childhood by a family member. (Which started my ideation off- aged 10.) I suppose it's when the pressure is kept up regularly- you get to the stage where- even if it isn't daily- the threat is there daily. So, you're continually frightened. I hated that part of my childhood and got out as soon as I could to go to uni.

It was mostly verbal/ psychological abuse. It started out as bog standard name calling or berating but, they finally worked out they got more attention when they played the victim and accused me of things (I hadn't done.) They went to town with that with friends, teachers, the deputy and head master and obviously- parents.

Physical violence was less so- seeing as they were smaller than me. A few punches here and there. Although, they strangled me once- in front of a friend and, held my head under the water on another occassion. I pretended I had drowned- which made them panic a bit.

Many years later, I started wondering what may have caused all of their behaviour- seeing as I honestly don't think I provoked it. I believe many of their behaviours closely align with narcissism. Weirdly- it made me feel so validated to discover the term/ condition. While it can never be an official diagnosis- obviously- it just made more sense of the whole awful experience.

To this day, I'm afraid of them. It's to the extent that I may actually not go to family funerals- in order to avoid them. It's perhaps dramatic to say they ruined my life but- they certainly set it on a path that will likely end in suicide. At the time, I did want to suicide and leave a note that blamed them.

That said, I doubt it was a good time for them either. I suspect they suffered too. Although, it's hard to feel pitty for your own bully.

Bullying is massively detrimental though- I think. I wonder how many times it is a big part of the cause behind suicide.

Even if you move on (my Dad has this idea that I've moved on- because I'm (just about) functioning as an adult with a (flimsy) career,) it has still changed the way you developed. Shaken how safe you even feel in the world. Because- if one person can so badly disrupt your life- what's to stop them doing it again or, other people doing it?

It can also change the decisions you make in life. It can make you more socially anxious I believe- to realise that some people are threats.

I buried myself in art to get through that period. It effectively saved me then and became my coping mechanism ever since. While I wonder how I could have survived without it- it has ultimately lead to a maladjusted life- with an overdependence on a very unstable career field, while neglecting everything else. Obviously- as an adult- that's on me. I could and should have done more to sort myself out but- these things have a huge impact on our lives and choices- I believe.

I've also witnessed it in adulthood too. Where people in companies regularly bully coworkers. To the extent that I dread what it must be doing to their sense of self.

 

[Forveleth]

The emotional abuse I have suffered from my husband. Claiming he loves me yet saying awful things. Threatening to harm himself if I ever leave him. Taking nothing more than a surface level responsibility (ie will do basic chores, poorly, but will not help with financial things or major life decisions). Knew the type of person I was when we married but then is angry I am not the wife he wanted. I checked, he displays traits of NPD and has all sorts of mental issues he refuses to address.

He is the reason I am here. I can not wait to be dead and away from him.

 

[iwanttodie019]

Bullying in childhood by a family member. (Which started my ideation off- aged 10.) I suppose it's when the pressure is kept up regularly- you get to the stage where- even if it isn't daily- the threat is there daily. So, you're continually frightened. I hated that part of my childhood and got out as soon as I could to go to uni.

It was mostly verbal/ psychological abuse. It started out as bog standard name calling or berating but, they finally worked out they got more attention when they played the victim and accused me of things (I hadn't done.) They went to town with that with friends, teachers, the deputy and head master and obviously- parents.

Physical violence was less so- seeing as they were smaller than me. A few punches here and there. Although, they strangled me once- in front of a friend and, held my head under the water on another occassion. I pretended I had drowned- which made them panic a bit.

Many years later, I started wondering what may have caused all of their behaviour- seeing as I honestly don't think I provoked it. I believe many of their behaviours closely align with narcissism. Weirdly- it made me feel so validated to discover the term/ condition. While it can never be an official diagnosis- obviously- it just made more sense of the whole awful experience.

To this day, I'm afraid of them. It's to the extent that I may actually not go to family funerals- in order to avoid them. It's perhaps dramatic to say they ruined my life but- they certainly set it on a path that will likely end in suicide. At the time, I did want to suicide and leave a note that blamed them.

That said, I doubt it was a good time for them either. I suspect they suffered too. Although, it's hard to feel pitty for your own bully.

Bullying is massively detrimental though- I think. I wonder how many times it is a big part of the cause behind suicide.

Even if you move on (my Dad has this idea that I've moved on- because I'm (just about) functioning as an adult with a (flimsy) career,) it has still changed the way you developed. Shaken how safe you even feel in the world. Because- if one person can so badly disrupt your life- what's to stop them doing it again or, other people doing it?

It can also change the decisions you make in life. It can make you more socially anxious I believe- to realise that some people are threats.

I buried myself in art to get through that period. It effectively saved me then and became my coping mechanism ever since. While I wonder how I could have survived without it- it has ultimately lead to a maladjusted life- with an overdependence on a very unstable career field, while neglecting everything else. Obviously- as an adult- that's on me. I could and should have done more to sort myself out but- these things have a huge impact on our lives and choices- I believe.

I've also witnessed it in adulthood too. Where people in companies regularly bully coworkers. To the extent that I dread what it must be doing to their sense of self.

did you take legal action?

 

[Forever Sleep]

did you take legal action?

No- they're a part of my family. It would have torn the family apart. It did to an extent anyway- we (thankfully) aren't expected to see each other now.

I doubt many childhood bullying cases see a courtroom- unless they are really extreme.

Sadly- with step families, I think it simply suits the parents to try and force everyone together. Sometimes with disterous results. There's that fairly recent case of a young woman- Anna Kepner being murdered on a cruise ship. Her step brother has been charged.

 

[Spite]

Probably the sexual harassment and emotional abuse I faced from one co-worker at a job I was working at in 2020/2021. I've been hurt by a lot of people in my lifetime, but that particular person hurt me in ways I will never truly recover from and will haunt me for the rest of my life.

 

[iset]

The emotional abuse I have suffered from my husband. Claiming he loves me yet saying awful things. Threatening to harm himself if I ever leave him. Taking nothing more than a surface level responsibility (ie will do basic chores, poorly, but will not help with financial things or major life decisions). Knew the type of person I was when we married but then is angry I am not the wife he wanted. I checked, he displays traits of NPD and has all sorts of mental issues he refuses to address.

He is the reason I am here. I can not wait to be dead and away from him.

I am so sorry to hear that... (I am not in the same situation, but quite similar in some aspects)

 

[iwanttodie019]

Probably the sexual harassment and emotional abuse I faced from one co-worker at a job I was working at in 2020/2021. I've been hurt by a lot of people in my lifetime, but that particular person hurt me in ways I will never truly recover from and will haunt me for the rest of my life.

did you take legal action?
or at least report to HR?

 

[Spite]

did you take legal action?

I did get in contact with police and contacted a work ombudsman at the time. The harassment stopped and he ceased all communication with me. He would just give me the silent treatment going forwards. I ended up quitting that job shortly afterwards.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

You need -1 more posts to view this content

 

[themisfell]

being lured into living with an ex partners family, then being abused physically and mentally by both the partner and family. partner frequently put me down and made me think I was nothing so I wouldn't leave. left multiple scars on my back with a knife that havent healed 7 years later. raped me on multiple occasions while I was asleep as well as awake, holding me down to do it and only stopping when I started crying. parents also treated me like shit and dad decided he disliked me because of how mentally ill I was due to all the abuse. tried to get me institutionalized by making a fake threat that I tried to harm them, and when that didn't work attempted to threaten me with a gun that he fired at me but did not hit me. thankfully, the gun incident was what I needed to get out and even though the police refused to act on it, it was the thing that finally broke me out of the mindset I was in and I got very far away...

still stayed in contact for over half a year though because i'm an idiot. all this still has me deeply traumatized to this day though sadly LOL even though it was a relatively short period of time (living together for 3 months when I was 18).

 

[Fadenself00]

Psychiatric abuse. First happened when I was below the age of 10.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Emotional abuse and physical abuse from my mom, as well as neglect. The physical abuse stopped when I turned 18, but even now I still have to go through emotional abuse and neglect by her.

 

[alstroemeria55]

Emotional abuse and abandonment from people I was supposed to be able to trust. Grooming and sexual abuse. I feel like my existence is abuse in itself.

 

[violetforever]

familial abuse. it caused me to seek out more abuse too.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

Bullying in school times, I spent years being the rejected ugly weirdo. Enriching experience sponsored by the gift of life

 

[darksouls]

my mother loved to torture me as a child with the method of almost drowning in the bathtub

 

[sanctionedusage]

well, therapy abuse felt like 24/7 brain rape

 

[whywere]

my mother loved to torture me as a child with the method of almost drowning in the bathtub

Excuse my language, but what the hell was your mother even thinking???

You are such a kind, caring and wonderful person and have that happen??!

Hugs to you, just breaks my heart reading this post of yours.

Walter

 

[cluefixphantom]

Psychiatric violence since 2014. I was always isolated in school for being ugly and too slow, by teens and the teachers. I could not say anything there, because they waited like predators to attack me for saying something they didn't like. Typical normal braindead people. And then when I stopped going to school because I was only isolated and harassed there, I saw no purpose to endure this further, so I was sent to a children's and youth psychiatric institution, because in Germany it's law that you need to be put into school until 18. In 2020 and 2024, my mother also wanted to get rid of me, so I was forcibly admitted and abused by the workers in the psychiatric facility. As a woman, you are completely easy target for the rapists in such institutions. Since I was released again, I probably suffer from symptoms similar to PTSD. I survive like a Hikkikomori since end 2024/Jan 2025. Because strangers outside are also toxic and became even more rude. It's the same trash similar to my school years. I am sad and angry that I was born into such an environment, with such shitty people. I cannot really help myself and had never a chance to have some good memories in life. I just had very bad luck, that I was born from such dumb parents, in poverty and with such a body and such people around.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

my mother loved to torture me as a child with the method of almost drowning in the bathtub

i'm so sorry

 

[nitrogenous]

Having to had an operation because of abuse and neglect by my parents and being told to suck it up as they had the same operation as an adult (so not from a result of an abuse). Giving me prescription meds without prescriptions, including blood thinners on top of being physically abused and all other forms of abuse.

 

[whywere]

Having to had an operation because of abuse and neglect by my parents and being told to suck it up as they had the same operation as an adult (so not from a result of an abuse). Giving me prescription meds without prescriptions, including blood thinners on top of being physically abused and all other forms of abuse.

What the heavens???!!

Sounds like they should be arrested and have a long stent behind bars.

My heart breaks for you, my good friend.

You deserve so much better than that.

Walter

 

[nitrogenous]

What the heavens???!!

Sounds like they should be arrested and have a long stent behind bars.

My heart breaks for you, my good friend.

You deserve so much better than that.

Walter

Thank you so much, unfortunately they are literally best friends with the state police… that's how they even got away with having police handcuffs to handcuff my brother (and I don't know about myself as I have dissociation issues) to the staircase railings for hours without getting in any legal trouble…

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Medical neglect, educational neglect and financial abuse. Can't decide which is number one.

 

[gunmetalblue]

You need to reply to this thread in order to see this content.