What is the trauma in your life?

[iwanttodie019]

I remember my mom and step dad getting into some very nasty fights with lots of yelling, a few got so bad the cops showed up and I would have to stay at a friend's house or my dad's. I've always hated being in the presence of people who yell and scream as a result.

just this?that does not sound too traumatic

 

[Green Destiny]

just this?that does not sound too traumatic

Should have added that there was plenty of things being thrown and stuff getting broken when they fought. One time after I had to leave to stay with my dad the house was completely trashed and destroyed with holes in the wall when I came back the next day. Don't presume to know what is and isn't traumatic again.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Extreme neglect and bullying.

I was born totally different from my other siblings I was dark skinned, ugly creature at birth my mom was terrified, she said to me. She doesn't wanted me at all. But for religious reason they had to have me. When I was born my mom had horrible sickness and she would stay sick throughout her pregnancy. And it deeply effected my whole body and mind. Im now dumb, ugly and just abandoned deep inside. Nobody would be my friend when I was a child still I'm friendless and don't know anything about human interaction. I thought whats wrong with me? Why people hate me so much. I couldn't understand, I couldn't get them at all. I couldn't read properly. Couldn't count even when I was 12 year old. One of my tutor even said I need to see a doctor. My parents neglected me in childhood I was growing up with siblings but they didn't care too and they were much much older than me. I used to made imaginary friends, live completely alone. School was extremely difficult it was super overwhelming, people would say hurtful things, I tried to hide. Over the top of everything I'm from a 3rd world country where life is challenging. I just hope everything I die.

i also had imaginary friends. just a combination of loneliness and absence of real people to comfortably play with. stuffed animals. roleplaying by myself with different characters. sad times.

 

[Lamentice]

I am just not wired optimally for this world, it's why I say I am not human.

Should have added that there was plenty of things being thrown and stuff getting broken when they fought. One time after I had to leave to stay with my dad the house was completely trashed and destroyed with holes in the wall when I came back the next day. Don't presume to know what is and isn't traumatic again.

This sounds horrifyingly stressful and scary for a kid to grow up in I'm sorry.

I just want to say that you shouldn't have to explain or justify why this harmed you... it did, that's real, and that experience and impact does matter

 

[suncide10]

bullying, probably emotional neglect from my parents, I just can't trust anyone and always have to pretend that I'm okay even at home. I think I've got some mental issues because I can't understand why I do some things I do

 

[endboss]

Multiple doctors messed up and now I have no other option left but to ctb.

 

[Bitterly_Nostalgic]

I'd say most of my trauma stems from my issues during early adolescence, my mother's complete lack of response to an obvious problem and not getting the support I needed from her.

Early adolescence was when my mental health issues first appeared. I had developed severe depression, horrible anxiety, and while I didn't have a name for it at the time, I was also suffering from deep gender dysphoria as well. I was having screaming, sobbing breakdowns multiple times a week. I was cutting, punching and biting myself on a regular basis. I hated myself and I wanted to die. I would regularly go to her and tell her how everything was wrong, that I was hurting myself, how awful I felt, and that I wanted nothing more than to just die. She knew about everything, and there was a clear and dire need for intervention.

So naturally, she decided it was all just silly teen angst and did nothing. At one point I even specifically begged her to get me help and she still did nothing about it. Then when I aged out of being a teenager, I was obviously still racked with bad mental health issues and doing nothing with my life as a result. She was frustrated and for some reason surprised that I hadn't just grown out of it.

The time I came out to her as transgender didn't go very well, either. Being that I lived under her influence and was unaware of how messed up as a parent she actually was, I still loved her and had a close relationship with her in spite of everything. I trusted her and I felt that I had no reason to expect anything other than acceptance and support. But she wasn't supportive, and said a number of horrible things that will stick with me forever. I went through so much anguish pleading and waiting for acceptance from her that was never going to come.

She did finally get me into mental health treatment as a young adult, but to me it felt like it was too late by then. Essential time and development as a teenager was wasted and lost, and I still feel like I'm not a complete person and something about me is fundamentally broken as a result. She also strictly wanted my treatment to just be about dealing with the depression and anxiety, deciding that I should put being trans to the side and ignore it. Which is something that I was completely unable to do, so not addressing the third core issue ultimately meant that the therapy and pills weren't nearly as effective as they could have been.

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

Spending a good chunk of my time betwenn 4 and 12 in hospitals thanks to a genetic defect killing me, constantly being left alone in scary sterlie dark rooms while in severe pain, never getting counciling for it despite doctors suggesting it.

Around 7 or 8: Social withdrawal lead to not knowing social norms which lead to a disciplinary punishment bestowing on me a 4th degree anal sphincter injury and a cracked skull. Thanks dad. Really always wanted painful embarassing life long problems.

Skipping past all the other fun events and we have a kid desperately trying to never give away control again and trying all methods possible for people not to leave them again.

And so the cycle of evil in our family continues. Every generation was the same and now it was my turn.

Evil born from Evil

@Bitterly_Nostalgic sounds relatable.
Can i go now?

 

[extremelyugly]

Seeing the answers in this thread make me feel even more pathetic than before, and I know this isn't about who suffered more or anything, but still. It clearly shows how I've always lacked any mental fortitude or resilience against any issues I've had. The point is, me saying my trauma is being considered hideous by women will almost and probably sound as a joke to many here, but... it is. I cannot stand it anymore, I tried to hide, to reclude myself, but then I had the stupidest idea ever: to let myself believe for once that maybe it wasn't so bad, or maybe that it had changed. I was obviously ridiculously wrong. That realization was worse than if I didn't believe anything positive at all in the first place.
This is not to say I didn't suffer from bullying or anything in my teens, I did. But I'm almost 30 and I just can't hear any more of their disdain toward me anymore, and I've been consumed by this for 10 days now. I cannot think of anything else. I just live in a cage now. I can't CTB easily or at all, and I know how it is for me out there.

I'm sorry to say all of this, because it sounds so superficial and probably inconsequential to many, but it's what I've become. A husk, a horribly ugly zombie... and I want to go, and I also feel pathetic about being such a pussy and not being able to take it.

 

[Bishop]

Narcissistic father

 

[FoxSauce]

Childhood, bullying , relationships and myself

 

[kunikuzushi]

my mom was a workaholic and never put down her damn laptop, so we never had a conversation with her full attention. my dad yelled at me constantly for every small thing (holding a pencil wrong, walking wrong, smiling wrong, etc)

racism from my own family because I'm mixed and both sides hated each other's race.

sexual abuse and overall weird obsession from my aunt when i was a child.

sexual assault when i was 18. then i stayed in a relationship with that person and faced more sexual assault for 6 years.

 

[Knives_14]

Lost my father when i was 7 and my mom was constantly away working. I grew up mostly by myself and barely processed my grief.
I'm grown now, and at 36 i can finally see the void that it left in me. I just didn't have the necessary tools to understand it back then.
I managed to make a decent life for myself but the pain is not going away and i don't expect it to do so. ¯\_(ツ)_/

 

[GovernorMcGreevey]

CSA, Black sheep/golden child dynamics, domestic violence, cancer.

I am now 31, and it's clear that my life is not going to improve.

 

[trashhologram]

Mental, physical, sexual and financial abuse. I'm an abuse magnet

where are you from?if you do not mind me asking?

Why are you asking that? It's none of your business. Does abuse get you off or something? Creep. Before you ask me, I'm from your moms uterus.

just this?that does not sound too traumatic

You can fuck off now. Do NOT belittle others' trauma.

 

[Dot]

things being broken is not so traumatic?still there was no physical violence

Brain Scans Show Children Exposed to Family Conflict Have Brain Changes Similar to Soldiers in Combat, The Results Are Shocking

Have you ever noticed how the human brain seems wired to spot danger before anything else? A sudden shift in tone, an angry glance, or footsteps at night can trigger our bodies to respond instantly, long before logic has time to weigh in. For children growing up in violent homes, this...

fitfoundme.com

Being shouted at by parents can alter child’s brain, experts tell UK MPs

Meeting will hear how exposure to verbal abuse leads to biological changes and can make mental ill-health likelier

www.theguardian.com