Yeah, my only real option is hanging as well and, admittedly, I can't handle it either despite having everything set up and ready to go whenever I open the hatch to the loft. Survival instinct is horrible.
It's hardly a "sacred ritual" but it's certainly not "just dying" either. CTB is an absolutely terrifying process and, from what I've seen, the only way to actually pull it off is to not give a shit about any of the consequences and just go for it despite our survival instincts telling us not to. That's what I mean about being able to "handle CTB": if you're being anxious and overthinking a simple interaction with a cashier then, chances are, you're going to be anxious and overthink CTB as well. It's unfortunately something you're going to have to confront, either with sheer willpower or psychoactive substances, if you want to succeed.
Speaking of psychoactive substances, what kind of drunk are you? If you're an easygoing, laughing drunk then you might want to try turning up to the shop a little tipsy and that should hopefully get you through the interaction - you might even tell them the truth and you'll both laugh it off as a drunken joke! I've been to shops while clearly drunk before and none of the staff care, if anything they find it amusing, but I'm in a part of the UK where day-drinking is the norm. And, sure, alcohol is a terrible long-term solution for anxiety but we're not thinking long-term here, are we?
I suppose a better question would be: does a brief moment of embarassment matter if you're going to be dead soon anyway?
Sincerely,
CumbriaCTB
