What if your primary reason for suicide was solved?

[noname223]

For a long time I thought it was poverty. I was able to get some passive income which could help me survive.

But I realized I still hate myself. And I hate living. I am so fucking lonely and don't have a gf. Without job it is even more difficult. I wish I would sleep and never wake up.

In order to avoid poverty I went to college which was insane torture. I stopped otherwise I would have killed myself I was on the edge. Now even without college I still hate myself and feel so deeply unhappy. Even after I solved some money issues I am still not happy. I think I am not meant for being happy.

Maybe my problem is with life itself. Maybe my identity is the issue. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

 

[TAW122]

I don't think I'd ever have my primary reason for CTB solved, because it is more fundamental and personal, even ideological (if that is the right term). This is due to the nature of sentience itself, the uncertainty, and the new problems and horrors that lie ahead of being alive. Being sentient and alive often brings itself a set of issues and even new problems (assuming the older problems are even solvable or solved). Only death and non-sentience will bring me the peace that I seek..

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel as if I've painted myself into a corner pretty much. I used to be of the live to work variety. I felt, so long as I could support myself financially doing my creative job, I'd be happy. It's not like it's ever going to be stable but, I've got better at not worrying about it. But, it's just not doing it for me so much now. It's become a chore, like everything else. It's still preferable to other types of wage slavery but, it requires a lot of hard work.

I suppose the 'solution' would be to be wealthy enough to pick and choose what to do. Or, to get my passion for it back. But then, that comes with it's own problems. Maybe I'd get bored doing nothing eventually. And, when I had passion and drive, I also had a deep need to be better, climb higher- which is exhausting. I just think life is- damned if you do, damned if you don't. Death seems much simpler!

The other desires I wanted from life- a partner, friendships have gone and again, good riddance to them! They mostly caused heart ache.

So, I suppose I just have fewer wants/ needs now. Which makes it pointless to hang around and work for everything. When you want less, there aren't even so many things to look to fix.

 

[Vagheit]

I will not commit it if that's the case. I didn't get to live my life and I only want to die because I'm living in a cage but if I had the chance to get out and live my dream life I will enjoy it to the fullest tbh

 

[lasttogo]

If mine was solved, I could be at peace with sticking around until I go any other way. Unless I get old enough that my quality of life is really bad. Then my reason to ctb could not be "solved" at that point.

That's kind of why I am still here, I do have some hope if I can make it long enough then I will be able to live feeling safe. I would like to experience that is possible, but I am realistic in understanding that I most likely will not be able to hold on long enough to see that future, and there is also no guarantee that it is real.

 

[Dejected 55]

I mean, if my primary problem was solved, I would have every reason to want to be here as long as I could... This feels like a trick question.

If you could have your favorite food, would you eat it?

If you could have everything for free would you take it?

If your farts could smell like strawberries a lilacs, would you like that?

If my primary problem could be solved, I would be annoyingly happy.

 

[tercermundista]

Having a million dollars solves my life, but what do I do with all the wasted time? There's no going back, and I've been like this for too long.

I'm depression personified...

 

[AlistairSky]

I would have to be a completely different person.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I have a few reasons, I feel if the primary one went away the other ones would still make life unbearable. If they were all solved though I guess I'd feel the same way. Depression runs in my family, and I've always been depressed. It's probably a fundamental part of me. I don't think I was meant to be happy either.

 

[Battered_Seoul]

Speaking for myself, I'm unsure if the issue is qualitative; bad problems that require solutions and can resolve or disappear. The issue is quantity and pressure; there is too much of too many different things, all congealed into a generalized mass; heat, noise, days, words, decisions, possibilities, faces, names. Everything demanding a response. Too much has already accumulated for there to ever be relief and rest, which is frightening.