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Houzor

Houzor

Idk what to do with my life
Dec 25, 2022
13
When I don't do anything he gets angry
When I do something he also gets angry because I didn't do it exactly the way he wanted me to do it.
when I ask him how he wants me to do it he gets mad because "you are an adult you should know how to do things on your own".

I focus on my studies and he tells me that I should work to have extra money.
if I work and study my grades go down and he gets angry telling me that I should focus on my studies.

I just don't know what to do no matter what I do he keeps getting angry no matter what I do.
Do you have any advice on how to deal with something like this? he wants me to be perfect and I just can't and it's going to drive me crazy.
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
2,041
When I don't do anything he gets angry
When I do something he also gets angry because I didn't do it exactly the way he wanted me to do it.
when I ask him how he wants me to do it he gets mad because "you are an adult you should know how to do things on your own".

I focus on my studies and he tells me that I should work to have extra money.
if I work and study my grades go down and he gets angry telling me that I should focus on my studies.

I just don't know what to do no matter what I do he keeps getting angry no matter what I do.
Do you have any advice on how to deal with something like this? he wants me to be perfect and I just can't and it's going to drive me crazy.
Can you move out and get a place of your own?
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
2,041
im trying to finish uni so i kinda need my father paying for that
I suggest you just grit your teeth and ignore your father. Some people will never be satisfied, whatever you do. (My mother was a bit like that.) You eventually realise that ignoring them is your only sensible option.
As soon as it becomes practical for you to do so, you should probably move out and make your own life.
 
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Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Wizard
Apr 21, 2025
677
If I had that problem I would kill myself, oh, but wait Im gonna do that anyways. har har.
 
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bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,924
A lot of people are toxic and that includes parents too since they're people as well.
 
Dongle

Dongle

FIRMLY GRASP IT
Apr 14, 2025
44
When I don't do anything he gets angry
When I do something he also gets angry because I didn't do it exactly the way he wanted me to do it.
when I ask him how he wants me to do it he gets mad because "you are an adult you should know how to do things on your own".

I focus on my studies and he tells me that I should work to have extra money.
if I work and study my grades go down and he gets angry telling me that I should focus on my studies.

I just don't know what to do no matter what I do he keeps getting angry no matter what I do.
Do you have any advice on how to deal with something like this? he wants me to be perfect and I just can't and it's going to drive me crazy.
I would advise trying to just get through it while you have a plan set to get out of there.

I don't think, based on your post, that anything you do will ever be good enough for your father, and I think that you have to embrace that to get through it.

When nothing you do is enough for them, and you know that, it can be freeing that you don't have to try to satisfy the unsatisfiable. I feel like you may also benefit from looking into the term and technique "grey-rocking".

I wish you the best of luck.
 

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