Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Bitterly_Nostalgic]

Off from several days in a row of having sobbing breakdowns. I have no energy anymore. I don't want to eat, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to do anything at all. Every single thing is exhausting and takes so much effort. Why does simply existing have to be so draining?

 

[violetforever]

i think i bruised my legs through self harm so badly a few months ago that its left behind a "shadow" of the bruise on my legs if thats possible. its like a faint greyish shadow thats not noticeable in all lighting. my legs are always scattered in little bruises anyway. i bruise easily.

 

[SCDLKD]

I can't explain it with words really well but I feel like there's a void inside me that's sucking on my joy and other positive emotions.
I'm watching all this colors but life feels black and white for me. It's like being in a really cool concert watching everybody having fun while I'm totally deafen and mute standing in the middle of the crowd.

And it feels like this will never stop happening and that's what bother me the most

 

[Counsuffer]

I feel lost on what to do, with a physical and mental illness that gets worse over time.

 

[Arrow]

i think that i believed for too long that i'd made more progress than i actually had

 

[wreckedbeyondrepair]

I feel an aching pain physically and mentally.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Me being an attention-hoarder because it's storming outside and I'm waiting for my benzos to kick in:

So, are there like... other autistics who felt like after one go with someone you're just... done?

Like, experiences of how good they were do affect how you would have perceived them in the future. Naively, but the perspective I'm coming from is that of a naive person. What I'm asking is how much stake did you claim in the relationship after the sex?

 

[violetforever]

i just saw that fightclub17's goodbye thread got closed. i hope its not inappropriate to talk about inactive members but she just came to my mind again on this last day of april <|3

 

[nitrogenous]

very anxious. I really feel like I am in a life and death situation although I know it might not necessarily be the truth. However, a part of me really is trying to convince myself that if I fail I should just ctb. I am scared about the future, about failing, about having to go through life in suffering, with no hope left. I just want things to get better...

 

[violetforever]

i kept saying i need a nicer, stabler, quieter environment so i would actually do things instead of laying in bed on my phone. well now that i live in one im still laying in bed on my phone. i did go out and ride my bike a week ago. i enjoyed that. but then when its over its just over and i think now what? to be fair i already had a traumatic moment in my new environment after about 2 weeks of moving in so that doesnt help. im just tired of life wherever i am and probably because im still around my family. all i want to do is turn the lights off and go back to sleep. theres not much to be awake for. im just bored to death.

edit because im thinking more :p i need to get some books to read. physical copies. i have materials for another hobby but i just dont feel like doing it. i guess it feels pointless to me to make things. but thats something else to do. lol im confined to things i can do alone and at home since i dont have a license or car or friends. i have my bike but all i like to do is ride to and around the park. theres stores i could go to nearby but ive lost so much interest in shopping or spending money on worthless things anymore. i admit theres things to do but its doing them alone that usually makes me not want to not even get up. i should think of more things to do anyway :/

 

[tomame]

i want to scream and pull out all of my hair

i want to beg for someone to save me

i want to apologize profusely for all i've done

but screaming would bear no relief.

my hair isn't long enough.

no one is coming to save me.

and it's too late to apologize.

 

[3spiral]

pain

 

[4colliez]

my issues and thoughts are genuinely so concerning i feel like i need to die for the benefit of everyone around me. i will never meet someone as intense as i am and that makes me a setback in everyone's life

 

[SleeplessAndSad]

I know that i get attached to others too easily. I am trying not to, but it's not really working. A while ago someone posted a thread along the lines of "living for someone else", i know that can't be a good thing but tbh i would love nothing more. Just give me a reason to exist.

Makes me feel very sad, like a physical tightness

 

[CTB Dream]

v awfl wat do all trap

 

[yume_]

I don't want to do anything.
The joy of things just aren't there anymore?
I can do things, like eating and cooking.
I just don't want to.
At the same time I feel like I should be doing something I can't bring myself to do it.
I mean I don't feel like there is a point to anything. The only thing I can do/want to do is listen to music but my ears seriously hurt soooooooo

It's unfair how I can have a perfect day but one little thing can change everything. Since then I'm just existing. 2 days ago was the best day of the year and at the same time the worst I'm feeling a little bit better but tomorrow is monday already and that sucks:(

 

[naughtyNaughtyBear]

Im in pain, i feel desperate. Like something horrible will happen 3 years from now, and Ill be stuck in some sort of pathetic humiliating existance

 

[tomame]

alone .. unsafe .. misunderstood.. objectified .. stupid .. tired .. hurt .. insecure

 

[gardenoflonely]

i am so broken and angry. i feel like i can't do anything right

 

[violetforever]

sometimes i get bursts of confidence through daydreams and what ifs until it all goes away because i sink back into the reality of who i actually am and everything i am and am not capable of

 

[shaggy_dooo]

Im starting to feel ashamed of writing my fucking problems on this forums is sorta pathetic isnt it? why tf do people have to know? Idk im lonely irl i got taken advantage of i wanna die i wish i died fast for the least im tired of this wont people think im a loser or a pathetic man? Maybe is the only way i feel like i can get it out

 

[Manaaja]

If you like males or being a male, there are male-only species you can join.

If you like females or being a female, there are female-only species you can join.

If you think both males and females are okay, there are hermaphrodite-only species you can join.

 

[PainThreshold]

I'm tired, ashamed and unworthy of the pain I felt, and the only way of validating it is by killing myself.

 

[NutOrat]

Want love and attention, won't get it Irl, AI won't cut it, too tired and lazy for anything can't even type I will never get what I want cuz what I want is impossible and that's that.

 

[meiherasayuri]

I'm nervous because the fear of rejection is giving me a stomachache

 

[The Eternal One]

Exhaustion, seeping deep into my bones. Despair, crawling in small chunks under my skin, like a colony of ants. Shortness of breath, suffocating squeezing ache in my chest and ball of bile stuck somewhere in my throat due to slowly rising panic. An inexplicable pain behind my eyes. Profound sadness and paralyzing fear over possibility of returning to this place in another incarnation.
Overall, I feel stuck and cornered, with danger all around me and no way out of this.
But also a faint aftertaste of hope for myself and others.

Spoiler: Unrelated bit of frustration

Also I spilled apple juice on my keyboard while typing this, which is lame, annoying and kinda funny.

 

[RedFruit]

Feeling tired and ridden by anxiety over my ex.

 

[Dejected 55]

I can't even really describe fully the level of despair and misery and hopelessness I feel almost constantly. Nothing I say or do really matters or moves the needle at all. I don't see even the possibility of a future that isn't filled with sad, lonely, misery for me. And it can also get much much worse than it is right now when compounded with other real-world problems I'll have to face sooner rather than later. I wanted out... I tried to get out... twice... and I failed... and each failure makes everything that much worse. I can't even choose to quit. I'm stuck, suffering.

 

[badtoad12314]

I feel confused, sad, apologetic, and lonely. Its hard to really make sense of what has happened and how people have been acting and what other people feel. And how i feel about what has happened to me recently. Its alot of feelings all mashed up and contradict each other. Leaving me a mess and at a loss of what to feel and what to do. At least ive gotten good at hiding it.

 

[scordatura]

Feeling really let down. I feel agitated and disappointed. No one takes on board what I have to say. Because I am always wrong and should be pushed aside and ignored.