Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[darksouls]

I demand the non-existence, I am fed up

 

[EmptyBottle]

Used 2024 laptop on Live OS (kinda nice but having my files on the system would be better... I backed up files from site in case of pending issues, encrypted SaSu savefiles and swapped/hid the HDD)
Watched Futurama (when Leela discovers some tasty 'food' in holes that turn out to be aliens) ~ Nice
irl is yet to get complicated and annoying maybe, unfortunate, tho I'm a little ready.

 

[darksouls]

all my life I have only been good enough for other people to exploit me

 

[EmptyBottle]

I feel relieved around 11pm when irl wasn't as annoying as feared. Had an interesting discussion about what our days were like, from the person troubleshooting car speakers/radio to me eating an oat meal, then tidying my room and finding that $50 was deeper in the snowflake box than I realised.... and even about TV shows. I mentioned a Futurama episode where Leela discovered tasty food from a planet after not eating, only for it to turn out to be aliens, and they wanted to eat billions of humans, before negotiating to eat Leela, who was swapped for an orangutan. Once a hippie told the dumb aliens, they got mad, tho eventually the hippie was eaten instead. There was mention of an older cartoon or show where partway thru, some rats were eaten.

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A little disappointed that the butter chicken naan I was about to microwave had ~5mm black dots with the dots having a musty smell (mould or so), probably wasn't sealed and this evening was the last valid day to eat it (had there been no dots).

Overall, the day was more unique compared to the other days with lots of web chatting.


PS: The tag for revealing/hiding posts I use is

[HIDEPOSTS=1]Content[/HIDEPOSTS]

 

[Manaaja]

Biologically, female is more important than male, and young male is more important than old male, and old male is worth a lot to predators. Young males beat and exile old males, and predators eat the old males.

People would rather a million young people die than one old male sit castrated in jail.

You could give them eternal paradise, and they'd cry "Noooooo, an old cismale got castrated for attempted murder, noooooo. Now he is calm and happy and friendly and won't hurt others anymore, noooooooo".

People's true wish is to be eternally tortured by old cismales. So, we could jail all people, put then in tiny jails where they can't even stand, tell them old cismales ordered it, and the people would be happy in their jails.

 

[Dejected 55]

It's all horrible and pointless and unwanted and I wish I were never a part of it because there is no way out.

 

[darksouls]

society is abomination, I dont want to support that human scum any longer

 

[Hime]

Been impulse buying so much... I'm honestly starting to do it more as self-harm, half this crap I don't even need :< ...

 

[tunnelV]

Drained

 

[GlassMoon]

Exhaustion. I was busy with something time-critical the whole weekend and then went to work today and now that time-critical stuff has to go on. Taking a break now.

 

[Hime]

Huge mood-swing, broke down crying because I discovered a USB stick containing pictures of me and my ex in high school. I don't know... Seeing his handwriting and everything again really shook me. There's so much I've forgotten unconsciously, and that scares me. These memories disappearing right in my head, outside of my control.

 

[Black_Knight]

I think someone on here killed themselves because of something I said while I was in a paranoid and angry state years ago

 

[Andarna]

It's like being stuck in thick mud. Every move feels heavy and slow. I am tired.

 

[Dejected 55]

Everything and nothing... I feel every bad thing. I feel no good things. Even if the worst possible thing doesn't happen, it's still bad... and the bad things pile up over time and it is unbearable most days. I never get the good part of any situation. I only get the bad... or if I'm "lucky" I get neutral sometimes... but never good. Why?

 

[darksouls]

already dead inside

 

[Grog]

I wish someone could love me and accept me the way I am.

 

[darksouls]

the ignorance of humanity destroys everything and everyone

 

[Manaaja]

Go obey your cis hetero males and old women if you so desire. See where it takes you and where it doesn't take you.

I'll only do what benefits me.

 

[corpse]

I hate men, I don't feel safe out there.

 

[dying_kwik2000]

I feel so alien from everyone. Like I'm always the person outside of the group. I feel inconsolable and unhappy no matter what. There is a hole in my chest leaking out it contents. My internal world is disfigured and disorganized.

 

[Black_Knight]

I almost went to a bar on my own for the first time in this town but there were guys standing outside making jokes about their dicks and I turned around. I know there's nothing actually harmful about it but it just gave me the impression that I wouldn't want to actually talk to anyone in there. And I'm hugely unassertive so I don't know. Men do this weird pecking order shit, and I'm a walking target. I just went to the convenience store and now I'm getting drunk on my own lol.

It was a nice infusion of energy tho

 

[Black_Knight]

Oh also, I officially don't get carded anymore
I really hate that

 

[Dejected 55]

I am isolated and alone. I don't want to be, but the world is not generally compatible with me. I suffer mostly in silence as no one really cares to listen even if they ask. I have told people all the things and it has mattered not at all in the end. Me trying vs me not trying ends up at the same place every time. When I don't try I feel anxious and think I should have tried. When I try I feel anxious and ultimately regret trying and having dared to believe something was possible. There is no path for me that produces anything other than pain and regret and misery. What is the point?

 

[darksouls]

annoyed by my antisocial neighbors

 

[renaxx]

I feel useless and like I can't do anything. I'm so hopeless about my future

 

[Tautochrome]

Despite being 100% sure that I want to ctb, I still feel a sense of obligation, a pressure to perform. It's awful to be stuck feeling ashamed about "wasting the life" while having no intention or energy to play this game anymore. I spend days idling, ignoring my duties, only planning the escape plan that might as well be impossible because the damn chemical is so strictly controlled

 

[Cavalcade]

The holidays are on the horizon, and I'm a little scared of what they typically bring, in terms of my mental headspace.

Life has been... better, as of late. I've been doing relatively well, all things considered. It's kind of eye opening just how destructive malicious or cruel people can be in your life. And what a benefit structure is.

Still deeply mentally ill, but I've been able to fall into the rhythms of grad school more or less alright.

 

[woodlandcreature]

on the edge. at my limit.

 

[Lady_V]

I just wanted to be someone's wife. To be there for them and spoil them. To be so thankful they stay by my side despite how imperfect and ugly I am. I was a child without love and now I am an adult without any. It's too painful.

 

[deprecatedfruition]

hollow with a tinge of comfort. this site can conforting to lurk on sometimes (i unfortunately rarely interact given i am deathly afraid of saying something horrendously dumb), but i like being reminded that i'm absolutely not alone and that some people here have had success in their endeavors. i hope to do so one day as well...