I had this stance "I wish I was never born" from early school onwards, for my experience of life was dominated by fear and humiliation, only safe place was the journey between school and home, for both school and home were places of instability. However, my parents mocked my threats to commit suicide just as they mocked any other special needs of mine such as going to sleep because I felt burn out (I'm autistic), so at teen years I made a promise to myself I will live for the sole sake of spitting at their graves. Indeed I also had these thoughts, that all life is about is that you are starting in negative and then must compensate/offset for humiliation you suffered, or die worse than you were if you were never born for others will remember your humiliation.
Yet the qualitative change in suicidality I would say happened past 18 years, when I struggled academically in university and developed significant gender dysphoria. When I was a child, I just though gender roles were stupid stereotypes with no basis in reality (as I was not yet aware I was autistic I measured them by the fact that I was contrary to those stereotypes and many around me seemingly were too), however, around 18 years I began to give up fighting society. Since it was a compromise for me, I didn't accept my own identity but rather went back and forth between considering to transition and trying to fight it out off myself, believing the parents must have messed me up but it was unhelpful. I even joined some community that tried to do conversion therapy online, but it only made me lose hope that gender stereotypes can be ditched and one live on one's own terms, so after quitting it I started transitioning immediately afterwards. By then I was 21, 3 years spent fighting myself for nothing. It was abruptly ended at 22 when my parents found out, and that's when I started actually acting out suicidal intent, got involuntarily committed for it, etc.
The only period I ever felt happy in my life was probably between 17 and 18 years, for reasons as I went to university but did nothing to actually study and just kept compensating for all the fun I missed by being a nerd at school. I also believed at the time the source of my struggles was that my parents were uncool (I was born when they were around 40 years old, and I'm their only 'child', my peer's parents tend to be younger) and I will just solve my problems by befriending students and adopting their values instead of my parents' values... but then I would find out it will fail as no one told me about autism. Perhaps that's what made me break -- prior to it, I believed that the source of my problems was other people, but at university years, I switched to unfortunate conclusion that it is only my parents that sucked, only to find out I can't actually relate to people I looked up to. It is kinda like you are hurt less if you know other people are intentionally malicious, but more if you trust them.
So yes, for me it doesn't get better but more like I was doomed from the start. Whether that's genes or environment, nothing good was in store for me, and in fact in early childhood I already knew it, even if didn't feel such intense affect as I've developed later.
