Were you neglected ??

[Parnate]

I was , my mother was abusive, physically, verbally and emotionally. Very often she hit me with whatever she could get cause I made a small mistake , sometimes she did that cause she needed to get out her frustration. My father saw all this happen but he never intervened .
He neglected me , my health issues , never took me to a doctor for important problems.

 

[bankai]

I'm sorry OP. I get it. My parents felt like they were doing the greatest service to me by birthing me and letting me be alive in this hellhole of a planet

They've actually done a bit for me. But I can't be happy anyway.'Cause I'm just damaged intrinsically.

 

[33K1LLM3]

I'm so sorry you went through that, so did I. My parents were seen as respectable people so nobody could ever believe that they could be the real demons in this hell of a world. The developmental destruction was seen as 'love' and 'protection'. That was never the case, they had emotionally neglected me for years, they had neglected my chances of growing up and being happy to live, and til this day live in denial about my depression, always trying to find a more convenient label to cover up what they have done. It's always about fitting into their lives and being an extention of them, and then your told 'life isn't fair' when you haven't ever been given a chance to live.
They bystanders are the worse and I am so sorry that you experienced that, wishing you the best <3

 

[bankai]

I'm so sorry you went through that, so did I. My parents were seen as respectable people so nobody could ever believe that they could be the real demons in this hell of a world. The developmental destruction was seen as 'love' and 'protection'. That was never the case, they had emotionally neglected me for years, they had neglected my chances of growing up and being happy to live, and til this day live in denial about my depression, always trying to find a more convenient label to cover up what they have done. It's always about fitting into their lives and being an extention of them, and then your told 'life isn't fair' when you haven't ever been given a chance to live.
They bystanders are the worse and I am so sorry that you experienced that, wishing you the best <3

Fuck them though.Most of our parents are like that.They're just so self absorbed. I'm sorry.They feel like giving birth to us is enough. They feel like this one act is enough to really absolve them of everything else. Some of them think they don't have to care for us either.

You deserve a lot better. And I'm sorry. I grew up with a terrible father. And I understand.

 

[niceday]

Some adults are, in fact, children themselves, raising other children. It astonishes me how certain individuals can deny you even the slightest right to make a mistake or express yourself, as if you were neither alive nor a child at all. Not to mention taking out aggression on someone who won't fight back.
I don't know what to say about myself. I feel that I've always had to handle everything on my own. I've never had a safe place where I could truly be myself.

 

[WeepingWorm]

In a way, yeah. I never had any upbringing, no strong parent figure that taught me right and wrong, passed on important knowledge, skills, opportunities or anything of the sort. Nor were they there when there was a need for genuine intervention or support or encouragement. On the contrary, they always laughed at or doubted any idea or motivation I had. Guilt tripped and judged me for not doing or knowing things they never taught or showed me yet expected of me. I was almost always left alone or to my own devices. Had to discover everything the hard way, and some things that seem basic I still have no idea about. It makes me feel like I barely qualify to be a person at all. I think they gave birth just for a generic token need of A child, and that was the idea. As a checkmark in their own life focused entirely on and for the sake of their perspective instead of understanding it's a whole person with their own mind. Not sure what my parents were thinking at all, but I don't judge them. It is what it is. Being a parent is probably very hard, and while I can imagine myself giving an upbringing to my own children if I had any, I'm sure I would fuck up along the way because I'm missing chunks of something that's supposed to be fundamental to being a person.

 

[Rynalia]

I grew up in an extremely inconsistent household with my parents flip flopping every which way.

Dad would flip between being caring, neglectful, abusive and overbearing. Even in old age he is still like this. It's impossible to know how he'll respond in any situation. Well, except the fact that he would save himself first before anyone else, and forget anyone else was left behind.

Mom would be emotionally unavailable when it matters, then available when the damage was already done. Her timing when she's needed is off, and it's hard to rely on her because of it.

They've gotten marginally better... But it's probably because I've ended up in the hospital many times due to suicide attempts that they've improved out of panic and fear. No real forward momentum, however.

It's far too late for things to improve for me... But at least my younger sibling seems to have a fairly secure attachment and a much better relationship with them than I ever did or will.

Me on the other hand...

Unsurprisingly, I developed a pretty disorganized attachment. The kicker being is that because of all the abuse and uncertainty of my childhood, I developed severe identity disturbance and I'm a literal mess of a person when it comes to any kind of relationship! Woo!

I will never be a parent. I wouldn't dare subject my children to a life with a freakishly unstable mother and perpetuate the curse.

Let the insipid poison die with me.

 

[amerie]

I grew up in an extremely inconsistent household with my parents flip flopping every which way.

Dad would flip between being caring, neglectful, abusive and overbearing. Even in old age he is still like this. It's impossible to know how he'll respond in any situation. Well, except the fact that he would save himself first before anyone else, and forget anyone else was left behind.

Mom would be emotionally unavailable when it matters, then available when the damage was already done. Her timing when she's needed is off, and it's hard to rely on her because of it.

They've gotten marginally better... But it's probably because I've ended up in the hospital many times due to suicide attempts that they've improved out of panic and fear. No real forward momentum, however.

It's far too late for things to improve for me... But at least my younger sibling seems to have a fairly secure attachment and a much better relationship with them than I ever did or will.

Me on the other hand...

Unsurprisingly, I developed a pretty disorganized attachment. The kicker being is that because of all the abuse and uncertainty of my childhood, I developed severe identity disturbance and I'm a literal mess of a person when it comes to any kind of relationship! Woo!

I will never be a parent. I wouldn't dare subject my children to a life with a freakishly unstable mother and perpetuate the curse.

Let the insipid poison die with me.

I had a similar childhood, I feel like it's the main reason as to why I'm so anxious now. People can just, change. I don't understand how people feel secure attachment to anything.

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

I have always been confused by the notion that parents are to provide for their children emotionally. What does this entail?

I was never neglected. I was always clothed, fed, and sent to school.

 

[Doll Steak]

I have always been confused by the notion that parents are to provide for their children emotionally. What does this entail?

I guess it means to provide emotional support/guidance for a child, to help them navigate through the emotional instability life can cause as they grow up.

An adolescent's life can be difficult, they must go through the hardships of education, possible bullying, loneliness, puberty, etc.
If a parent does not provide emotional support how is a child to grow up emotionally intelligent, how is that child to understand themselves and understand their own thoughts and feelings? A parent can provide food, clothing, housing, education, but depression would not care.

After all it is the parent who decided to bring a child into existence, I think the child should feel cherished by them, simply for the fact they exist, because it was never their choice to be born.

 

[FoxSauce]

Well childhood I guess my mother wasnt all that present. I couldnt blame either she had a lot going on i didnt knew.

I think now sometimes she can be hot and cold but back than it was to a whole another level. When i used to have awful nightmare everynight she threaten to beat or dangle a leather belt 'round her neck.

One time i think i go an awful eye infection she saod to me if a teacher called her from work an made her pick me up i would be in a lot of trouble.


Another example woukd be i paid her something she owed (she refused to tell me. I dont mind tho) she thanked me and became nice ro me for now. Idk what thats called either but it happens.

I didnt tell her I was bullied either back in school cuz well i thought she wouldn't care.
Idk if invalidation counts as neglect but yeah

I think shes trying to make amends now.
But deep down I know it'll be hard to forgive her for that. Even so i try to keep her away emotionally, she keeps a lot of things secret so I keep away so i wont hurt myself.

I atill try to yknow be nice and respectful and all (im no saint)

Tho Im still trying to have a relationship with her.