Welcome to 2020.

[MechanicalDonkey]

I was in a really dark place. But I want to try again. I don't know why. I was so low, even a few days ago. But something inside of me feels drive. Ambition. Desire to be happy. I don't know how to do it. But I want to. I don't need her to be happy. That I know. I don't know anything, really. About any of this. But it's 2020. A new start, a chance to become better and fix the problems I didn't last year. And push myself to become better. And push myself to be able to get the help I need. And not let depression rule me. Because I don't want to be sad anymore. And I don't think that killing myself is the right option yet. Maybe it's the survival instinct. Maybe it's the doubt. But maybe this time it won't end with a suicide attempt. But that's on me to decide.

Happy New Years, everyone. Whether you're with family or alone. Broke, rich, trying to help others or emotionally empty. Blessings to the ones who haven't made it to 2020, and blessings to those of you who are still here.

 

[Boochky]

I was in a really dark place. But I want to try again. I don't know why. I was so low, even a few days ago. But something inside of me feels drive. Ambition. Desire to be happy. I don't know how to do it. But I want to. I don't need her to be happy. That I know. I don't know anything, really. About any of this. But it's 2020. A new start, a chance to become better and fix the problems I didn't last year. And push myself to become better. And push myself to be able to get the help I need. And not let depression rule me. Because I don't want to be sad anymore. And I don't think that killing myself is the right option yet. Maybe it's the survival instinct. Maybe it's the doubt. But maybe this time it won't end with a suicide attempt. But that's on me to decide.

Happy New Years, everyone. Whether you're with family or alone. Broke, rich, trying to help others or emotionally empty. Blessings to the ones who haven't made it to 2020, and blessings to those of you who are still here.

Blessings!

I totally understand how you're feeling. I past my death date in November, outlived Stan, allowed love into my life. I don't know how I'll survive, but I want to. I keep taking it day by day and the solutions are coming slowly but always in time.

It could all go to shit, but at lest I'm still doing my best.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I think there is a lot of wisdom in what you said. May the new year be the best one for you yet.

 

[MysticPerception]

Good luck, I hope things go well for you and you start to feel truly happy. It's much better to feel like you can try again instead of feeling like you're trapped in a dead end with no possible escape.