Resource Weekly challenge thread

[The Morningstar]

Let me take your pain
You have carried it too long
I'll suffer instead.

 

[Dot]

Thank you and and carac for keeping up this initiative for so long. I wanted to participate, but I was never able to overcome my inner sloth who just wanted instant relief from my pain and suffering.
Lately, I have gained a little bit of strength, because some life circumstances have changed and I have more power to try real recovery.

I am saying this, because I want to share with you something I have been working on. I created a schedule that has little challenges for each day of the week (mo-fri). I am hosting this on a discord server that I created just recently, because I also use a little bit of automation and reminders to make it easier to manage with my health.
I have been testing it for almost a month, alone on my discord, and I am now confident to share this space with other people. It's also got a bunch of daily fun stuff - posting some content that I collected or created over the years (memes, cat pics, polls, writing prompts...). I feel like I can organize myself there and I think I prefer it over Sasu, because I can easily jump between topics and group messages for each challenge.

That being said, I want this to be a supportive space, where you can say what's on your mind, as long as it's not aimed at controlling, converting, or hurting someone else. And if you don't want to talk, that's fine too... you could just look at the challenges that I am posting and decide if you want to participate or not. Nothing is mandatory, I am doing this mostly for myself. But if I am already doing it then why not share the work.
I can't post it on sasu, because I think it would be too much for me to keep in touch with people on 2 platforms. Especially because I am posting challenges daily and it can get really messy to organize...

I am inviting everyone who is interested to join me on my discord, just send me a pm. It's currently completely empty, just me, a few bots and a friend who helped me checking user permissions and channel descriptions (including rules). It's not a doomer server, but also no "feel-good nonsense" (like "your problems are temporary and it's just a mindset problem") content. And no religion or spirituality content (talking about your own beliefs is fine, just don't force your ideology on someone else), and absolutely no nudity, harassment, witch hunting, sexism, racism or sexual orientation discrimination. If you have read my sasu history, you understand that I am very hurt by the fact that so many people are suffering, because of hate, control, and false narratives. That's why I will try my best to weed out anyone who is just there for trouble.

So yea... that's again a long text, hopefully it doesn't look so intimidating...
...
TL;DR please send me a pm if you are interested in joining me for daily challenges or for just chatting with others who also try to get through the day without shitty coping strategies.

Slf hve snt dm

 

[SoulCage]

.
..
...
Hostage in a cage
the jailor hands me the key
Finally I'm free.
...
..
.

 

[LancyLoew]

Let me take your pain
You have carried it too long
I'll suffer instead.

This has a genuinely good ring to it, great job!
Also, this is unrelated, but... I love your motto. "Be yourself, until you bleed", it's the kind of unrelenting volition to proudly be who you are that I have massive respect and admiration for.

 

[LancyLoew]

Hair is always wet
This numbing drizzle won't stop
Bones are feeling damp

 

[LancyLoew]

 

[LancyLoew]

Challenge 76​

 

[tooBadTooLate]

Challenge 76​

Does napping count? I've been doing that a lot of that these days.

 

[SoulCage]

Challenge 77:
Wear it again.
​

Objective: Wear a Piece of Clothing You Haven't Worn in a Long Time.
If you don't have many clothes, try mixing and matching your current items in new ways.

Ever since I lost interest in basically everything, I started wearing my colorless, plain clothes. But I do have some items that are a bit more special. I will attempt to wear one of it this week.

 

[LancyLoew]

Challenge 78:
Weekly Playlist
​

(Sorry for the late post)
Description:

I hope you will find this one as fun as I do! For this challenge, you'll have to take some time out at the end of every day during the week, and find a song that best captures how that one day went.
The song can reflect your mood during/after the day, the events that actually happened, or just how felt about the day after it was over. Once you have all 7 songs, you can share them here at the end of week on Sunday.

Goal:

The idea here is to spend some time reflecting on how your days are going; by forcing yourself to recall what happened to you (and how you felt about it) you get the chance to think about what is going on in your life and how you relate to it.

Thanks for reading, be well!

 

[LancyLoew]

 

[SoulCage]

I love the idea, because I like giving my mood some sort of soundtrack. It also made me look back at my old playlists and re-discover some songs that I have almost forgotten.

It was also an exceptionally crazy week for me. But choosing my music made me turn off my brain for a while and forget everything. Thank you, @LancyLoew

My songs

 

[LancyLoew]

Challenge 79: SoulMap

This idea was suggested to me by the one and only @SoulCage:

Draw a map that symbolically represents your inner world. Put your fears, hopes, sources of joy and anxiety (as well as anything that's important to you as a person and makes you *you*)

Example

I believe this was posted on imgur by a user named Uneasy Toast, you can think of something similar when designing your own map. This one was likely made in more time than one week, so don't worry if you don't think you can't finish it by Sunday or put as much effort in;
the main goal is to have fun with this one, I hope you'll be able to.
Thank you for reading, and have a nice day!

 

[SoulCage]

Soooo.. I am gonna post mine already, because I did this challenge last week when following my personal cope schedule (that, by the way, I also post publicly for anyone who needs more stuff to do every week).

It took me really long to finish it, so don't be discouraged if yours doesn't have that many details... My first version was just a messy pencil sketch and then I decided to do a colour version. For the place names I had a little help from AI, but only ended up using half the stuff it generated.

Lately, I spend most days in the lower part of the big island (especially in cope town).

Now I was thinking.. where does SaSu fit into this? Probably somewhere inside the "stranger's thicket" where I can listen to echoes of strangers who get lost there (like me sometimes).

 

[trashhologram]

View attachment 175918View attachment 175917

I love writing haikus!

I just realised
That I am a speck of dust
In the universe

 

[LancyLoew]

I went to bed super late yesterday and didn't have the energy to post my soulmap (but will post it later today). I also can't post the challenge until the afternoon, but will get to it as soon as I can.

In the meantime, I wanted to ask for feedback. What do you think of challenges that have been posted so far? Are they too boring, difficult or just seem pointless? Which ones did you enjoy (if you did any at all), and what kinds would you like to see in the future?
I will also ask anyone who has taken part in any of the challenges the past few weeks (even if they didn't post about it) to leave a reaction here; I would like to see how many people are participating.
Thanks in advance!

 

[LancyLoew]

Challenge 80
The link:

 

[SoulCage]

We already talked about it in a private message, but I'd like to also share my opinion in public :)

I like them very much and you put a lot of effort into the documents. My favourite so far was the one about the playlist. It gave me always some time to recap my day/mood with music.
Drawing challenges are the hardest, because it takes time to do something one can be proud of... makes me wanna quit because it's too overwhelming.

I am hopeful that some of the lurkers are silently participating and just can't or don't want to post about it. It's just an invitation not an obligation.
But it would be nice to know if something (about the challenges) can be improved!

 

[LancyLoew]

[M]
These years embark on change
We've been suffering too long
The path ahead isn't clear yet
But I'm certain it's not wrong
[T]
There are more lights than ever
I actually feel normal
And hopeful, but fearful
For the fall from here looks painful
[W]
And pain is what is all around
I dread all that is abound
These lights that hang above my head
I now see don't come from Heaven
[Th]
I'm hungry and miserable
And unable to concentrate
On everything that's on my plate
It must be fate, perhaps I should just starve
[F]
Suffering will stay
At bay it will be kept
Perhaps not by hope
But cope - I'm not alone

 

[SoulCage]

Challenge 80 - a poem about my week (4 lines each day).
By the way, I am not sure my contribution counts as a poem... I watched the video, but I really didn't remember shit while writing my lines. So.. sorry for anyone who is into poetry and reads what I call "a poem".

---

Another day, another week, another month, another year.
The world keeps spinning and so do I.
Waking up, still tired. Well fed, but still hungry.
Thinking about what was and what could have been.
.
My heart is crying out loud, but nobody is listening.
Or maybe it's just all in my imagination?
The feeling in my chest getting stronger,
My eyes crying from anger.
.
It's like I am riding my bike 24/7,
Or like it's being eaten by a raven.
Astronauts feel the same,
When they are launched into space.
.
I wonder how much longer I am able to endure,
How much longer I can be there for you.
I wish I could be gone from your memories,
Make you forget that I did ever exist.
.
There is so much to do,
I don't even know where to start.
And worst of all:
Does it ever stop?
.
This poem is just full of incoherent rambling
Nothing makes sense like life itself.
Chaos, a cat pushing things from the table,
Not even chatGPT could understand me.
.
At least I tried, I guess.
At least it helps me to cope, I guess
That's all that matters.
That's all... That matters.

 

[LancyLoew]

Challenge 81 - One week of Journaling

This week's challenge is about something many of you have likely tried. There isn't anything special to it; write down your thoughts or what you did at the end of each day, and share some of it here (if you're comfortable).

(Note: This doesn't have to be a long-term commitment if you're not up for that. And if you're skeptical of journaling, this is the opportunity to just try it out and see if it helps you.)

Dr. K's video about journaling:


(If you don't want to click a link, search "Does Journaling Actually Work? (Journaling 101) dr k"; the channel is "HealthyGamerGG")

Note#2: Dr. K does sell a guide/course on self-help; that's not what I'm sending the video for. I have not purchased the guide, I simply like his YouTube videos. If you are interested in the guide, do check it out though, but I have no information on it or its usefulness.

 

[SoulCage]

Today I feel again hopeless for the future. I received some bad news in the mail and I kinda stopped believing in my recovery journey. I wish journaling would fix everything, but somehow it only makes me see how fucked up the world is. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a different place for recovery. The last one on the long list of places that offer help. I actually don't know what's going to happen if they reject me too. Then I am a little out of ideas? Then I kinda lost all hope in society?
At the same time, my boyfriend, who hasn't given up on me, is so sweet lately. He makes it really hard for me to consider giving up. I don't want to hurt him. But I am also hurting him by being a burden and dragging him down... I feel so guilty for being a broken human. For wanting to disappear because of exhaustion, pain and uncomfortable fear to end up in a miserable work situation. Why can't I just be normal. Why is everything so hard for me. Why does everything feel like a threat. The economy, the health system... The world is fucked.
That's it for today.

 

[SoulCage]

Today I feel even more hopeless about the future. I actually started working again on my "exit preparations", because I feel like I should have them ready. That's how bad it is right now.
I had to talk to a psychologist again who was in charge of approving social security funded help. She kinda said she is going to approve, but I now have to call a bunch of places that might accept that approval. Lot's of work ahead of me... Lot's of time waiting. Lot's of convincing people that I need this. Alternative? "Just get a job". Doesn't matter if it burns me out (again) I guess? Doesn't matter how I feel, as long as I am a customer in this system.
I am so tired. Everything is exhausting, it has been already for so long. The bureaucracy is too much. I wish I could just stop existing.

 

[trashhologram]

Challenge 78:
Weekly Playlist
​

(Sorry for the late post)
Description:

I hope you will find this one as fun as I do! For this challenge, you'll have to take some time out at the end of every day during the week, and find a song that best captures how that one day went.
The song can reflect your mood during/after the day, the events that actually happened, or just how felt about the day after it was over. Once you have all 7 songs, you can share them here at the end of week on Sunday.

Goal:

The idea here is to spend some time reflecting on how your days are going; by forcing yourself to recall what happened to you (and how you felt about it) you get the chance to think about what is going on in your life and how you relate to it.

Thanks for reading, be well!

This is my playlist for the last week. Started aggressively, ended up sexually

 

[SoulCage]

Day 3 of journaling everyday in the challenge thread because of challenge 81. (Sorry everyone.)

I had my weekly therapist meeting and I told her about all my failed recovery plans and what I could do next. I think I figured out what I want to try next. But if that fails too then... I don't know. Might just really going numb again until I have the guts to CTB.
And the worst part of it... She probably thinks I am doing already better, because I try all this shit. I tried to explain that I really wish I wouldn't exist at all, but she still tries to gaslight me into thinking "everything is okay". I don't feel better.. at all.
So much for "identifying warning signs".
I am tired. I am going to sleep now. Good night.

 

[Bishop2]

I hope this isn't a necro and derails the thread.

 

[SoulCage]

Its Thursday. And I got another panic inducing letter in the mail. I can't go into details, because I don't know how to explain it without revealing something that could be used to identify my irl. All I can say is that it's another road block in my recovery journey. So much bureaucracy to get help. so much for "there is always help available". Bullshit. I hate mental health awareness and suicide prevention people who just repeat those lines and think of themselves as heroes. If that roadblock gets not resolved then I lose everything. I might know the answer tomorrow. I am so scared and I can't tell anyone about this. Because I am scared of dealing with the terror of a method to die. But what else is there to try? I tried everything and there is just nothing that can be done.
I am sorry for all this doom talk. I am just really tired and this is the only thing I can think about right now.