Wanting but can't.....

[Mloureiro]

Everyday we suffer a loss, I don't know if it is the season. But breaks my heart and part of me envy them and I just can't. Have everything I need to CTB but neither my children or my partner deserve it, I know that they would not cope with it (I am the family rock, can you believe it?!). Have to endure a few more years, as I promised myself that I would wait until she is on track, now 19 in Uni, though treating us like crap as she is 4 hours away and does whatever she wants. And no, she was raised with tons of love, lives with relatives even if we have to pay for her stay, I have a bully as a boss, one the reasons to CTB, and no, no other job, in my country would pay me as much and I have a 14 old son that deserves the same, have his mom around until leaving his nest and paying for it, no student loans for either of them. But the CTB is still here, so as the SN, the meto...

Just venting...

 

[TotallyIsolated]

This sounds really difficult. I'm so sorry you're going through such painful times. Life is hard.

 

[Sensei]

Just knowing that one has the means and can end it at any time can be a great solace in itself.

 

[Mloureiro]

Just knowing that one has the means and can end it at any time can be a great solace in itself.

It can but is also a curse, you can but you can't...

 

[Jean4]

My opinion. My partner CTB 2 weeks ago today. When the pain gets so great that the love doesn't matter, it's time. As long as you are still being a great mother worrying about her kids.... it isn't.

 

[Mloureiro]

My opinion. My partner CTB 2 weeks ago today. When the pain gets so great that the love doesn't matter, it's time. As long as you are still being a great mother worrying about her kids.... it isn't.

Jean, I hope so. Because the need to CTB is sp strong, they are really clinging me to life...

 

[Jean4]

Jean, I hope so. Because the need to CTB is sp strong, they are really clinging me to life...

But the mama protecting her cubs instinct is still there. Hold onto that. It's still there. When that feeling is gone, then you will know it's time.

 

[Never Free]

But the mama protecting her cubs instinct is still there. Hold onto that. It's still there. When that feeling is gone, then you will know it's time.
[/QUOTEThis is why I feel I could never be a parent. I knew CTB was inevitable too young.

 

[Mloureiro]

Is not being easy.