Venting Waking up in the mornings is an agonising experience

[Moroze]

Few seconds of peace, then my brain gets a reboot, all the memories, the pain, they all penetrate my head like bullets. I want to sleep more, but I can't. I wake up feeling so frustrated, I'm sick to my stomach as I'm writing this. I don't want anything from this world. I just want to be at peace already. My stomach is too awful to do SN, and I am scared of carrying out other methods wrong and ending up brain damaged. Everyone is sick of me, of my endless rants, and BS. Like, I wake up, and WTF do I do next? I don't have the will to do anything. Everyone who ever said they loved me, they didn't mean it. Nobody meant it. I'll be dying knowing I'm a worthless fuck just like my mother said.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's a mini trauma every day. I wish I knew what it was like to wake up without immense panic and dread overcoming me. Maybe once I knew but I long since forgot.

I just want the peace I get when I sleep but that doesn't have to be interrupted.

 

[fedup1982]

Im so sorry. You've had so much trauma. You're not worthless. It's possible to be suffering and not able to cope yet still bring meaning to others just by existing, and Im really sorry you're not it seems in a position to see that right now, I hope you believe me cos its true and you need to hear it

 

[Pluto]