very suicidal after weight gain

[manicstreetbeeper]

not much to say. i'm not overweight, fairly far from it, but i look overweight due to BF comp and i hate having to witness gaining weight. even now that i'm begrudgingly abstaining from food and losing it, i feel disgusting and putrid in myself, i'm angry and alone, nobody will help me and i want to kill myself. i'm back to abusing benadryl so i don't have to feel atrocious all day long. i'm so far from happy and i want to die extremely badly.

 

[DrJ3llyf1sh]

I'm really sorry you feel like that. I've struggled with eating for a while. I'm here if you ever want to talk about it.