Felixim
Member
- Sep 8, 2025
- 10
I have been suicidal since mid/late march, ever since I have been going back and forth between planning a method and latching on any kind of distraction like playing games and doomscrolling. My thought process has been so unstable, I feel like I am more paranoid, in denial of everything I see with my eyes which basically means I am denying reality every single day, I don't want to talk to people at all, I am apathetic towards my online friends. Exam session at university is coming yet I don't want to do anything about it. I have a concert hang out with an online friend in few months yet I couldn't care any less about it. I hate how suddenly the urge to live is getting in the way. No I don't want to live at all, I genuinely want to be over with it, yet my senses became more sensitive and heightened - everything draws to my attention and I latch onto it even though I get miserable afterwards and wishing I was dead instead. I really should just order the rope already.
