Venting urge to ctb every time i remember he cheated

[interna]

i really did trust him. friend of 4 years. knew everything i went through with previous partners including my trauma in regards to being cheated on and replaced. he didn't give a shit ahah

i really did trust him you know

 

[knowledgeseeking]

i really did trust him. friend of 4 years. knew everything i went through with previous partners including my trauma in regards to being cheated on and replaced. he didn't give a shit ahah

i really did trust him you know

I hate that you would considering harming yourself due to his hurtful and cruel behavior. You are giving him way more power over you than he deserves. Girl, take your power back.

The best to deal with this is move forward, find inner peace and happiness, be open to new love and never think of that bastard again.

Wishing you strength and peace.

 

[sadbh]

Ouch. I am so sorry for you.

Luckily, it should get better with time and the pain will dull. Pls be patient

 

[bpdscared9]

I totally get the feeling and I also relate to you. My former partner cheated on me while we were in an awfully abusive relationship (she's a diagnosed NPD) and I was still stuck in our relationship back in the day that I thought I genuinely was gonna die. I even prepared a suicide letter that it was gonna sent automatically the day I was gonna CTB but after two years of that date, I desisted from that until I realize that she wasn't worthy of my life, not my suffering at all. She didn't deserve not even half of my pain!

 

[RedFruit]

i really did trust him. friend of 4 years. knew everything i went through with previous partners including my trauma in regards to being cheated on and replaced. he didn't give a shit ahah

i really did trust him you know

I'm going through the exact same problem. Feel free to send me a chat if you ever want to talk about it with someone who can relate.

 

[interna]

sorry to revive the thread just to whine again. ihavent been feeling good at all today.

he had been cheated on before pretty badly. replaced, as well. he knew how much it hurts and how utterly it destroys you. he knew id been hurt like that before, too. he was even there for one of the occasions (relationship i had before him) and was supportive, and to this day holds anger towards the person who hurt me by replacing me.

we were a ldr. as far as i know he only cheated on me online, though. sexted w randoms. the first time he cheated on me i know of was april 27th, 2025. just a week after id traveled to see him and stayed with him for 10 days.

i guess i don't get it. out of ~5 relationships ive had, ive been cheated on 3/5 and replaced in 4/5.
I don't understand whats wrong with me. I try so hard to make my partners happy. i try so hard to be good. i try to be desirable and do my best to stay happy and to try hard everyday at least for their sake, and yet they always grow bored, irritated or tired of me.
I try my best.
I try my best always to love and be loved, but my efforts are fruitless each time
i cant seem to ger people to stay or love me aas muxh as i do them
why do people cheat on me? whats wrong wme? please. I want to change. i wanna change so i can be loved
i dont want to be cheated nor discarded on amymore. i just want someone to stay andbe nice to me ans i wnana be hapy and i aant them to really love me truly I wamt people to stop abandoning me
im tryinf my best. please.
whats wronf with me. tgats all i wanna know, am.i rrally thst useless? What's wrong with me?

sorry for being annoying again

 

[idkwhattodoman]

sorry to revive the thread just to whine again. ihavent been feeling good at all today.

he had been cheated on before pretty badly. replaced, as well. he knew how much it hurts and how utterly it destroys you. he knew id been hurt like that before, too. he was even there for one of the occasions (relationship i had before him) and was supportive, and to this day holds anger towards the person who hurt me by replacing me.

we were a ldr. as far as i know he only cheated on me online, though. sexted w randoms. the first time he cheated on me i know of was april 27th, 2025. just a week after id traveled to see him and stayed with him for 10 days.

i guess i don't get it. out of ~5 relationships ive had, ive been cheated on 3/5 and replaced in 4/5.
I don't understand whats wrong with me. I try so hard to make my partners happy. i try so hard to be good. i try to be desirable and do my best to stay happy and to try hard everyday at least for their sake, and yet they always grow bored, irritated or tired of me.
I try my best.
I try my best always to love and be loved, but my efforts are fruitless each time
i cant seem to ger people to stay or love me aas muxh as i do them
why do people cheat on me? whats wrong wme? please. I want to change. i wanna change so i can be loved
i dont want to be cheated nor discarded on amymore. i just want someone to stay andbe nice to me ans i wnana be hapy and i aant them to really love me truly I wamt people to stop abandoning me
im tryinf my best. please.
whats wronf with me. tgats all i wanna know, am.i rrally thst useless? What's wrong with me?

sorry for being annoying again

Im so sorry that you're going through so much pain. It's a problem within themselves that has caused them to cheat. It's not any flaw of your own that forces anyone to cheat.

I hope you can take the time to heal and to trust again. Especially in having your own self trust.

 

[violetforever]

same. i know he feels no remorse for it either. love is worth nothing if this is what i get in return for it. i wish i didnt have this feeling at all.

 

[glass-petal]

it's not your fault that someone made the decision to treat you poorly, that's on them not you. I promise your not being annoying and your feelings are valid, you have every right to be hurt and to express that hurt. i'm really sorry that you've had to go through the pain of so many people letting you down. maybe in time, you can find a bit of solace in knowing that they are the ones missing out. they very well may never understand or appreciate what it means to truly care for someone, to look past their own selfishness and build something real, to experience a genuine connection without sabotaging it. the long term bond two people can form is something to be cherished, i'm just sorry you've had to deal with so many buffoons who can't understand that.

 

[interna]

i guess this is just my vent thread now

Spoiler: spoiler cuz im embarrassed of myself

my chest hurts so bad. relapsed again over this. I just don't get it. i really don't
i feel broken. i feel like there's something i lack. no matter what anyone else says, i can't believe this isn't a me problem. im sure there's something im doing wrong. accepting there's just that many cruel people is something i can't do. i can't.
why me? why is it ALWAYS ME? why am i always the one being cheqted on? i dont get it. wjy would he - no, not even specifically him lmao. why would half of my partners decide to inflict cruelty upon me? even when some of tjem had been cheated on before? what am.i doing wrong?
i dint get it at all
it hurts so bad. it hurts so.so.so.sodsododo bad and i just want everything to end. i want to die so i can stop all feeling. i dont want this i dont want this heart i dont want this past dont want thid future dont want the present i dont want this life i dont want anything.
I dont want anyone. i dont want anyone to come near meever again. i dont wanma touch anyone i dont wanna see anyone i dont want to go out. im too scared of connection. im really scared. i dont wanna be hurt again.
i am incredibly broken. i dont think i can do this for much longr.
it's just too mucj coincidence isn't it? its me right? im the problem.
if I'm being fully honest, i think im too unworthy of love to ever get anything other than abused or mistreated.
i think i deserve all this.
it's fine
i dont deserve an answer, or anything other than being cheated on and replaced and unlovable. I always have been unlovable and insufficient and i will always be. whoever dares to tell me I'm enough again, I'm killing myself in front of them. I can't take being lied to anymore.i
just want it to end