Upset they are going to the ctb

[FireFox]

Hello everyone
It is firefox again( i hope my threads are not annoying people)

I have been talking to guy(not naming him i dont think he would want me to) on this website here and he plans to catch the bus this week

He is absolutely determined to die. He has a very hard life and never got to be the person he truly meant to be. He has nobody no family and no friends. All alone

I see him as a friend only even though i dont know him and will never meet him. He lives in the USA where as i live in the UK. He is a lot older than me in his 30s

The realisation he will be gone both as a person and a user it saddens me.

Saddens me because there is nothing i can do about it and saddens more me because i know he will have a never get to live the life he always wanted and be the person he was supposed to be.

He wont even say goodbye to me before catching the bus .

I know this sucide forum and know the rules when i signed up.

I am sorry if i sound self centred or selfish. Maybe i am being ridicious and need to get a grip. after all i never really knew him

Its whole life story has really got to me . I enjoyed taking to him even though we dont have much in common . I am going remember the things he always wanted to do with his life but never got to.

How do you deal with a member of this site catching the bus espically if you enjoyed talking to them.

Again if this post upsets people then i am sorry and i sound selfish then i am sorry.
I am in pieces over the whole
thing .
FireFox

 

[rebelsue]

This is a really hard thing and is a risk when you sign up on here. When I saw that someone I'd talked to made an attempt, it freaked me out. I think a lot of this is radical acceptance...a DBT skill I learned when I was still trying to get better. There are some things you cannot change because you cannot control other people. This forum is pro-choice. That is the essence of it. Other people make their own decisions. We all die someday. Some of us choose when it happens, others don't. I think looking at it objectively and non-judgmentally, forgiving yourself for feeling the way you do about it, and feeling your feelings...let them come, but just observe them like clouds floating by.

 

[akrasia]

I don't think you're selfish. I'm sure everyone here feels the same way. It's upsetting to see anyone leave honestly, whether you know them or not. It's just a part of this forum, everyone comes and goes. Some stays of course. But, it's their life and their choice. All we could do is be there for them. I understand how sad it is to not be able to do anything.
I actually had a friend here that didn't say goodbye when he ctb and it broke me into pieces. It left a hole in my heart.
It's kind of like grieving in a way. It would take time to heal. Even though the pain wouldn't entirely disappear, it would ease down over time. But, it's entirely up to you on how you cope.
I wish you well. ❤❤

 

[Donk]

ive actually met someone here irl. we met once at a coffeshop. talked for hours about life. he told me he was gonna ctb soon but i never had a chance to say a final goodbye. i felt really sad initially but then knowing that he isnt in pain anymore lessen my grief. im happy for him.

 

[Ἡγησίας]

I have connected more or less deeply with a very few people here that CTB, but there was a single case that hit me so hard when she went that I think I'm never gonna be able to get over it. Her disappear drained me till the core of my being, I can't put it in words even in my own language. It's normal to watch this kind of situations from a selfish perspective: I loved to chat or talk with her, she was charm and incredible sweety with me, something I never deserved at all. I put all my efforts trying to stop her and opening a chance to meet in person (we lived in different countries), but it couldn't be. I had to let her freed herself during a chat voice conversation and now she is just a memory, like a sweet dream that filled my heart during a short period of time. She made me feel happy and I'm grateful for that.

 

[darkhorse256]

I don't think it's selfish. It's nice having someone who can understand. I'd deal with it by just remembering that they are no longer in pain and cherishing the good times I had with them.

 

[Arrow]

not selfish at all. when you make a friend, you hate to see them go. only natural.