synthcadia
dissociated angel.
- Jul 8, 2023
- 271
this is just a short update, idk.
became closer friends with someone, but idk. i feel like they ask more from us than we can give. but they are super nice. i just don't want to disappoint. i just feel so tired. like i don't really want to socialize. maybe they just take a lot of energy idk. but they are super nice. so idk. cause they put the same expectations on all of the alters, and one of our alters tried to be friends, but then they sent a long paragraph about how they aren't giving back so i stepped in, even though i definitely should've have. debating on self harm. idk.
i don't really know anything. i feel lost. and so much has happened at home (that's a whole other discussion) that i NEED to not be present. but i HAVE to be present. otherwise this person will stop speaking to us. maybe my alter can pretend to be me, but that feels fake. idk what to do.
in better news, i lost weight. i'm fully aware i have an ED, but at the same time, i'm eating 2-3 meals a day and just exercising as one should so idk.
so tired. literally sleeping for 10-11 hours a day and then going to sleep after being awake 13 hours.
became closer friends with someone, but idk. i feel like they ask more from us than we can give. but they are super nice. i just don't want to disappoint. i just feel so tired. like i don't really want to socialize. maybe they just take a lot of energy idk. but they are super nice. so idk. cause they put the same expectations on all of the alters, and one of our alters tried to be friends, but then they sent a long paragraph about how they aren't giving back so i stepped in, even though i definitely should've have. debating on self harm. idk.
i don't really know anything. i feel lost. and so much has happened at home (that's a whole other discussion) that i NEED to not be present. but i HAVE to be present. otherwise this person will stop speaking to us. maybe my alter can pretend to be me, but that feels fake. idk what to do.
in better news, i lost weight. i'm fully aware i have an ED, but at the same time, i'm eating 2-3 meals a day and just exercising as one should so idk.
so tired. literally sleeping for 10-11 hours a day and then going to sleep after being awake 13 hours.
