Discussion Unsure what to call this send-off feeling- fictional comfort?

[jyko]

Basically, thinking about the impending bliss, all i can really think about is a sense of like, satisfaction? about escaping reality and my last final thoughts most likely being about all my fixational feelings. ive used fiction my entire life to escape the mental/physical/worse traumas in my life - connecting so deeply with fictional characters i abandoned most large parts of my personality in order to adapt to theirs.

Basically, my question is, does anyone else even know what i mean? the last solid part of your brain alive and kicking is the part that helps you fixate on fictional people, to the point where every single night i do sleep i have dreams about an alternative life elsewhere in those fictional universes and have for years. It's not a "touch grass" situation, and i hate when people insinuate that, because like i used to spend alot of time outside just imagining and daydreaming being part of the fictional universes and pretending my local area was somehow involved. I want to go there. Not here. And that kinda helps me feel alot less stressy about what ctb would be like cause i barely even feel connected to the real world anymore. Im wondering if anyone has gone through or is going through a similar kind of disconnect, how it impacts you too, or any other kind of broad disconnect like that, but not in a harmful way

 

[Necrosis]

maladaptive daydreaming???

 

[sugarb]

Basically, thinking about the impending bliss, all i can really think about is a sense of like, satisfaction? about escaping reality and my last final thoughts most likely being about all my fixational feelings. ive used fiction my entire life to escape the mental/physical/worse traumas in my life - connecting so deeply with fictional characters i abandoned most large parts of my personality in order to adapt to theirs.

Basically, my question is, does anyone else even know what i mean? the last solid part of your brain alive and kicking is the part that helps you fixate on fictional people, to the point where every single night i do sleep i have dreams about an alternative life elsewhere in those fictional universes and have for years. It's not a "touch grass" situation, and i hate when people insinuate that, because like i used to spend alot of time outside just imagining and daydreaming being part of the fictional universes and pretending my local area was somehow involved. I want to go there. Not here. And that kinda helps me feel alot less stressy about what ctb would be like cause i barely even feel connected to the real world anymore. Im wondering if anyone has gone through or is going through a similar kind of disconnect, how it impacts you too, or any other kind of broad disconnect like that, but not in a harmful way

That's an interesting question. I've always been more interested in fiction than real life and I do a lot of imaginary stories in my head and IRL disassociation so I sort of know what you mean to an extent

For me how it usually goes is-

- Outside
- Away from other people
- Wind blowing or other strong ambience (running water if I'm in the shower, thunder, rain on the roof, etc)
- Music playing
- Not overly bright
- Comfortable temperature

And then I disconnect from reality for a while.

I don't fantasize about characters very much-like, I don't really want to be with the characters in my head. I'd like to be able to see their stories, that there was some kind of magic library that creates books/movies/etc. As you said it's not a touch grass thing, I very much don't have a waifu lmao

I usually think about places. Very big, empty, calm places where I'm utterly alone.

Usually it's a flat, very windy grassy plain a lá the Flint Hills (which happen to be my dream CTB spot).



So- like this, only it doesn't end.

Other times it's a very large city or structure with brutalist architecture. It almost always has water, and there's usually mist. On occasion instead of water there's just flat stone.




I'm usually just wandering around aimlessly.

I do definitely understand what you're talking about but maybe we're just a bit different, I don't know

 

[Cress]

That's an interesting question. I've always been more interested in fiction than real life and I do a lot of imaginary stories in my head and IRL disassociation so I sort of know what you mean to an extent

For me how it usually goes is-

- Outside
- Away from other people
- Wind blowing or other strong ambience (running water if I'm in the shower, thunder, rain on the roof, etc)
- Music playing
- Not overly bright
- Comfortable temperature

And then I disconnect from reality for a while.

I don't fantasize about characters very much-like, I don't really want to be with the characters in my head. I'd like to be able to see their stories, that there was some kind of magic library that creates books/movies/etc. As you said it's not a touch grass thing, I very much don't have a waifu lmao

I usually think about places. Very big, empty, calm places where I'm utterly alone.

Usually it's a flat, very windy grassy plain a lá the Flint Hills (which happen to be my dream CTB spot).

View attachment 148632

So- like this, only it doesn't end.

Other times it's a very large city or structure with brutalist architecture. It almost always has water, and there's usually mist. On occasion instead of water there's just flat stone.

View attachment 148634
View attachment 148635

I'm usually just wandering around aimlessly.

I do definitely understand what you're talking about but maybe we're just a bit different, I don't know

This is a really cool post regarding laminal spaces I believe they're called? Thank you for sharing these images. Have you ever played a horror game called "the classrooms"?

 

[sugarb]

This is a really cool post regarding laminal spaces I believe they're called? Thank you for sharing these images. Have you ever played a horror game called "the classrooms"?

I suppose they could count as liminal spaces, yeah. Though in my head they're not really eerie or spooky, just places I ought to be in or I have memories of. And sure, anytime

I have not, no

 

[Forever Sleep]

My experience is mostly intertwined with limerence- obsessive crushes on people. They've actually become more comfortable since shifting them mostly onto fictional characters or actors I'm never going to meet. They were awful when they were real life people I saw.

But yeah, I spend huge amounts of time living in basically ridiculous fairytale romances in my head. Coupled with being a recluse pretty much. Working from home and doing a job that can be monotonous at times so- lends a lot of time to be able to disappear into that world. I know it's pathetic but I don't even really care. It's been a good coping mechanism.

I have no real interest in rejoining the world. I feel outside of it in many ways. I actually hope I can CTB before I'm in a position where I may have to interact with it again- eg. get a customer facing job again. Work with other people. I just want to hide for the rest of my time, distracting myself as best I can and then, die.

A friend of mine also has obsessive crushes and I mentioned the term 'maladaptive daydreaming'. We couldn't work out whether it was something everyone did. I don't think they do to this extreme.

 

[Nothing87]

Im wondering if anyone has gone through or is going through a similar kind of disconnect, how it impacts you too, or any other kind of broad disconnect like that, but not in a harmful way

I used to daydream and disassociate a lot, and I did that to escape from reality and stress. I felt happy in my fictional world and I also daydream myself being part of my favourite character world lol or I often imagine myself as another person. Daydreaming makes me feel disconnected to the real life world.

Basically, my question is, does anyone else even know what i mean?

I believe it was called Maladaptive Daydreaming