University was such a disappointment

[sonnyw]

I've always loathed school. Between having no friends and being bullied, I thought about CTBing every day. I held onto the hope that university would be the "reset" everyone promised, that those would've been the best years of my life. I even heard it from people who, like me, hated high school but managed to turn everything around in college.

It was all a lie. I hate it even more here. Not only am I still a loner, but I feel like a failure every day because I'm struggling academically while everyone else seems to breeze through. It's going to take me much longer to graduate, if I even make it that far.

I eventually stopped attending lectures. The commute was draining, the professors were awful at teaching (I learn better on my own anyway), and it was soul crushing to watch everyone else socializing and talking about parties while I sat there in total silence.
I tried to be social, but it never stuck. People will talk to you one day and then look right through you the next.

As for the professors, they are some of the most arrogant people I've ever met; they seem to take a twisted pride in failing students just to stroke their own egos.

I actually enjoy the subject matter, but the environment is toxic. My expectations have been completely destroyed.

 

[Pluto]

 

[lpdsvm]

I am not sure. Try using AI. Use it and ask questions. It wont be tired if you say "I don't know" every response.
make sure ai self checks because it makes mistakes.

 

[ethereal_hobo]

I've always loathed school. Between having no friends and being bullied, I thought about CTBing every day. I held onto the hope that university would be the "reset" everyone promised, that those would've been the best years of my life. I even heard it from people who, like me, hated high school but managed to turn everything around in college.

It was all a lie. I hate it even more here. Not only am I still a loner, but I feel like a failure every day because I'm struggling academically while everyone else seems to breeze through. It's going to take me much longer to graduate, if I even make it that far.

I eventually stopped attending lectures. The commute was draining, the professors were awful at teaching (I learn better on my own anyway), and it was soul crushing to watch everyone else socializing and talking about parties while I sat there in total silence.
I tried to be social, but it never stuck. People will talk to you one day and then look right through you the next.

As for the professors, they are some of the most arrogant people I've ever met; they seem to take a twisted pride in failing students just to stroke their own egos.

I actually enjoy the subject matter, but the environment is toxic. My expectations have been completely destroyed.

I'm probably twenty or more years older than you, but I relate to a lot of this. I went to a very small university / college which was actually very good for socialising, and I didn't have long commutes. I can see how commutes would be challenging as I lived in a few different places while there and it was easier to be sociable the closer I lived to the place.

Beforehand I was similarly miserable in school and developed a phobia of exams, which still blights my life to this day. ADHD (undiagnosed and never mentioned by anybody while I was in school, and maybe even university) and many other kinds of problems didn't help either. Although university was a lot better in many ways, which wouldn't be hard, a lot of the same issues arose there. It was different but not THAT different. After I eventually dropped out I tried some part-time and distance-learning stuff but never stuck with it to a great extent. At least I completed a year's distance-learning course but exam phobia (and some related issues) messed me up yet again so my grades weren't great, but whatever.

Although it was a good place for socialising, naturally there were some toxic students and lecturers too, and I didn't know anything about the nature of toxic people back then.

You like the subject matter and are better at learning on your own? Maybe you can get through it that kind of way. Maybe you can get your social needs met better closer to where you live. Hope things get better. I think some universities aren't great for socialising anyway, I remember people in other places talking about that. I guess you could be lucky and find the right club or society, but yeah. There could be similar stuff closer to where you live.

 

[fuzzypeach]

i get that. my life did get better in college, but not necessarily *because* of college

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

I've always loathed school. Between having no friends and being bullied, I thought about CTBing every day. I held onto the hope that university would be the "reset" everyone promised, that those would've been the best years of my life. I even heard it from people who, like me, hated high school but managed to turn everything around in college.

It was all a lie. I hate it even more here. Not only am I still a loner, but I feel like a failure every day because I'm struggling academically while everyone else seems to breeze through. It's going to take me much longer to graduate, if I even make it that far.

I eventually stopped attending lectures. The commute was draining, the professors were awful at teaching (I learn better on my own anyway), and it was soul crushing to watch everyone else socializing and talking about parties while I sat there in total silence.
I tried to be social, but it never stuck. People will talk to you one day and then look right through you the next.

As for the professors, they are some of the most arrogant people I've ever met; they seem to take a twisted pride in failing students just to stroke their own egos.

I actually enjoy the subject matter, but the environment is toxic. My expectations have been completely destroyed.

Everyone just assumed that I would go to college and graduate top of my class, etc. I was also told that if I didn't, I would have to brave the "real world" and it wouldn't be pretty. I ended up dropping out and joining the work force. I can say with utmost confidence that the real world was far kinder to me than school ever was. And while I would like to finish my degree someday, I'm doing just fine. No regrets.

 

[achingthroat]

It's what I held on to too during my senior year in high school because although it was my last year and it should be easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel that's when it was getting worse because I felt so inpatient it felt grueling having to wait what seemed like forever. I thought college was going to be my new start where I could finally make friends, have a social life, be someone, yk feel something nice like that. I kinda forgot that I suck academically and classes are more difficult and fast paced and I can't retain info as it's just unbelievably too much. I tend to want to give up really fast and feel heightened emotions that drive me to lose it. I want to drop out but then that's just me giving up entirely on life. It feels like if I don't pursue a college degree I won't be able to live comfortably. I don't think I'm smart enough to continue and I hate that! Honestly, I just want to leave society but there's factors to that. I'm just so upset that the fact that I'm alive is incredible but just to be disappointed and stuck in a world like this.This is all made up, I don't want it!

 

[sunflowers]

same.
for my case its just a regular boring uni in my city. i really wanted to get out of it and from my household but here we are.still stuck in the same spiral

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

College...what a beautiful opportunity I had. But I was weird and I blew it. I won't say more since this is the recovery board.

 

[thatonegirl]

I relate to feeling that college wasn't all that I hoped for. I managed to get into a college with an amazing community and fantastic, caring professors, but I still never felt like I was part of it. I felt like an observer. I wanted to enjoy my time there like everyone else but I just couldn't for some reason. I get the emails about alumnae reunions and reliving our glory days, and I still feel like I didn't live them the first time

 

[BeanCurd]

University wasn't great for me either, for a myriad of reasons. Lots of people told me those years would be the best of my life but, I can now say they were definitely not. Things aren't perfect these days (I'm on this forum, after all!), but I find it easier to be and stay somewhat stable while not in that environment. I know not everyone feels this way, but I much prefer working full time to studying full time. And I prefer the post-university lifestyle as a whole. I guess I'm just trying to share my experience that having a good/fun etc. university experience doesn't have to be the be all and end all.