NSFW Uncensored AMA: 19yo Kamimachi runaway, body for a bed

[morina]

[Hidden content]

Ever thought of asking a kinder man for a plane ticket to go into another country?
I'm sorry that life is built this way.

Well, my sample size is 1, but I talked to one runaway once who met someone on the internet who got her a bus ticket to a foreign country and ended up in prostitution with that guy not doing anything to her directly, but basically acting as her pimp. So uh, that doesn't sound like a good idea.

Don't have any interesting questions, sorry! I hope the resources that got recommended to you will help you get out of this, Mio. :)

 

[WishfulNeanderthal]

I do hope you manage to find yourself in a place of safety and joy. Take care of yourself, friend. (Regardless if this is real or not)

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

I don't get it if what you say is true, why don't you just go back to your house to get your papers or whatever proves you exist and actually do something with your life? There's gotta be other ways to make money in Japan besides whoring yourself out and being homeless. Posting in a suicide forum isn't going to help surely there are Japanese communities or forums that could help with your situation. You mentioned asking guys to use their showers and stuff, but you never bothered telling those few decent men your story? They might actually help you, and I bet they would if you gave them the chance. And don't give me that 'men will lecture me' bullshit I'm being honest here, not trying to make you feel bad

Maybe she is suicidal and this is all that she can mentally and physically do, maybe she has trauma? There are lot of women stuck in extremely similar ways...

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

Why, you want me to come over? cx (>᎑<๑)

I'd love to hear more about you. But gay bro, sis

Mad respect for you tho.

That guy sounds sweet as hell.

Anyway, have any girls asked to meet you? Have you become friends or see other girls like you?

Do you all have a monthly union to band against nasty men?

See any of your hosts on the street? Anything happen? Or do you avoid?

Do you look forward to anything?

What would you want right now?

What's your favourite food?

Do you keep anything to remember your hosts?

Is there an equivalent of this for outside of Japan?

Meow.

 

[ThrowawayName]

Some people have questioned if this is real or not, and to be fair one can never be 100% sure when it comes to the internet... But as for me, right now, I'd rather believe it is real and be "fooled" than thinking it's fake and missing the chance to maybe give some words of encouragement to someone...

Having said that, I feel deeply saddened for what you're going through. And even if it's not the kind of stuff someone might be proud of. As far as I know, you've been doing all you can to hang on to life itself and survive, and that's... well, only human. That does deserve inmese praise at the very least.

I geniunely hope and pray so you can find that oportunity, that gap out of this loop. Maybe through the legal methods that have been mentioned previously or through a generous helping hand, but so you may then have the stable, independent life you need and deserve.

And now that I'm at it. I guess I might aswell ask something...

Do you listen to music?
If so, who or what do you often like to listen to? and why?...


Best of wishes, and thank you for reading

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

I am really sorry for taking so long. Responding to everyone takes so much time! I am typing as fast as i can

[Hidden content]

Ever thought of asking a kinder man for a plane ticket to go into another country?
I'm sorry that life is built this way.

The men aren't disgusting pigs at all. Its a trade, nothing more. We both have something we want from each other so its not like they take advantage of me. I know what I am doing. Im dumb, reckless and have no self worth anyway so that helps numb everything out. I don't cost as much as street bunnies and i am not even sure if they do other things. So many just men want a girlfriend and i can give them that for a night. Most just want affection and be held. You might even praise me as a social worker cx

If you are doing something somewhat like sex work, is there a reason why you haven't considered doing OnlyFans? Is that something you wouldn't want to do?

I guess you can consider it sex work if you want. I see it more like the kanojo service. The girlfriend date buying renting thing, idk in english. I also have the freedom to just do it via app from wherever i want, can pick the ones i like myself, don't have to talk much initially and can judge them via texting beforehand. It's exciting really. Dangerous but exciting. OnlyFans isn't an options because i don't want to send pictures of me. that stays between guy and me. It apparently doesn't make money anyway. I don't even have a steady internet connection for something like that. Not for me.

Well, my sample size is 1, but I talked to one runaway once who met someone on the internet who got her a bus ticket to a foreign country and ended up in prostitution with that guy not doing anything to her directly, but basically acting as her pimp. So uh, that doesn't sound like a good idea.

Don't have any interesting questions, sorry! I hope the resources that got recommended to you will help you get out of this, Mio. :)

No person will ever own me! I would never consider stepping into a cabaret club / kaba-kura. I see those girl sometimes and they look often miserable. I stay away from fukutomicho because of it. Not my kind of people and scene. Also more and more police. A bit ago the police closed down most of koganecho which was a "night life" spot as well. too risky. Anyway, thank you for the sweet well wishes. Take good care of yourself as well.

I don't get it if what you say is true, why don't you just go back to your house to get your papers or whatever proves you exist and actually do something with your life? There's gotta be other ways to make money in Japan besides whoring yourself out and being homeless. Posting in a suicide forum isn't going to help surely there are Japanese communities or forums that could help with your situation. You mentioned asking guys to use their showers and stuff, but you never bothered telling those few decent men your story? They might actually help you, and I bet they would if you gave them the chance. And don't give me that 'men will lecture me' bullshit I'm being honest here, not trying to make you feel bad

Uh, you're not worth my time. Next.

I do hope you manage to find yourself in a place of safety and joy. Take care of yourself, friend. (Regardless if this is real or not)

Thank you. I will be fine.

Maybe she is suicidal and this is all that she can mentally and physically do, maybe she has trauma? There are lot of women stuck in extremely similar ways...

Ding ding ding. Exactly what you said. I am a suicidal no self worth adrenaline junkie. Guess i was always gonna end up like this.

Also, please no more going back to Shizuoka questions :)

Anyway, have any girls asked to meet you? Have you become friends or see other girls like you?

Do you all have a monthly union to band against nasty men?

We do meet. It's like a junkie instantly recognizes a junkie type of thing. We chat and kill time. Sometimes warn each other but i dont really want to befriend any of them further than that.

See any of your hosts on the street? Anything happen? Or do you avoid? Do you keep anything to remember your hosts? Is there an equivalent of this for outside of Japan?

Japanese cities are very big, so no. I don't see them, and my memory is bad anyway. It's very very rare. I don't know if other countries have girls like me. they probably do.

What would you want right now? What's your favourite food?

I am sitting in an Izakaya place right now drinking something and stealing wifi. i probably get kicked out soon. Edit: OOH right, my favourite food is karaage (fried chicken) or just some Ramen or Miso. Something nice, salty and warm is sometimes very needed to not fall over.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

The men aren't disgusting pigs at all. Its a trade, nothing more. We both have something we want from each other so its not like they take advantage of me. I know what I am doing. Im dumb, reckless and have no self worth anyway so that helps numb everything out. I don't cost as much as street bunnies and i am not even sure if they do other things. So many just men want a girlfriend and i can give them that for a night. Most just want affection and be held. You might even praise me as a social worker cx

No, respectfully, no. It's fine to view life in another way than I do but it is factually incorrect, I don't believe in a world where people "trade" eachother, I refuse to respect or even acknowledge it and I'll gladly burn it if I ever had the chance.

I am sorry that this is happening to you once again.

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

Some people have questioned if this is real or not, and to be fair one can never be 100% sure when it comes to the internet... But as for me, right now, I'd rather believe it is real and be "fooled" than thinking it's fake and missing the chance to maybe give some words of encouragement to someone...

Having said that, I feel deeply saddened for what you're going through. And even if it's not the kind of stuff someone might be proud of. As far as I know, you've been doing all you can to hang on to life itself and survive, and that's... well, only human. That does deserve inmese praise at the very least.

I geniunely hope and pray so you can find that oportunity, that gap out of this loop. Maybe through the legal methods that have been mentioned previously or through a generous helping hand, but so you may then have the stable, independent life you need and deserve.

Do you listen to music?
If so, who or what do you often like to listen to? and why?...

Most times i am not even sure if i am real anymore. It's okay to question me. As you said, it is the internet after all, and people should question things they see on the internet more often anyway.

Hey... thank you. It is really is incredibly hard at times. I'm not proud of who i am, and i'm probably just being stubborn about not going back home as well. Growing up there was awful. I might ask around about those organisations and if they are safe, don't want to risk it. I live such a confusing mix of not trusting anything or anyone but also just reaching a point where i couldn't care less. Sometimes i am paranoid about everybody on the street. Other times i secretly hope somebody stabs me. Guess the real me only shines through the dark humor and the numbness sometimes. Gotta be tough to stay alive out here. :3

I mostly listen to japanese songs. Currently i am addicted to 稲葉曇 / inabakumori. Those two songs are my favorite at the moment:

No, respectfully, no. It's fine to view life in another way than I do but it is factually incorrect, I don't believe in a world where people "trade" eachother, I refuse to respect or even acknowledge it and I'll gladly burn it if I ever had the chance.

I am sorry that this is happening to you once again.

it is fine if you don't want to acknowledge it. is how i stay off the street and find a place to sleep. i am not asking for anyone to respect it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I need to get going and need a break anyway.

 

[Dejected 55]

I've heard before about in Japan there being such a thing as "girlfriend rental" or something like that. Where single men just have a girlfriend for a day or a time or whatever. I gather it isn't so much about sex, though it might be sometimes, but is for the lonely people out there who otherwise wouldn't have anyone, so they kind of rent a relationship for a bit. Maybe I've misheard that?

In any case, I bring that up... because when you strip away the depression and aspects of what is driving the OP to have this life she is relating to us... there appears to be something in Japanese culture that seems to allow for more casual non-committed relationships where both people get something out of it and then move on afterwards. It feels a little alien to me, because I feel like relationships have become too transactional and I think it is killing society... but if you're in a culture where this is more normalized, I'm not sure what the OP is doing is as strange in Japan as it might seem to us on the other side of the world.

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

Two sweet people commented on my profile post about ME saying how ugly i am and how much i hate myself. They were right to call me out for pretending to be tough, so here we go. Thank you both. Well, the side i really didn't want to show but need to:

Honestly, if i stop smiling it away, i am terrified all day everyday. I am scared, alone, cold, feel sticky and constantly so so hungry. I have weird people over me doing things to me or I need to sleep while they make as much body contact as possible and i just met them a few hours ago. I hate myself and everything about myself. Shit i sometimes cant even afford condoms or cant find free ones in time and just have to pray theirs are actually safe. But to get money, food or get basic hygiene i need to go to them. I need to take the risk, and sometimes bad things happen. Visiting men is always my last resort and only do it if I am just so exhausted and need some shelter.

Almost every time they do stuff to me i just dissociate automatically. They start touching me and next thing i remember is i lay on my side while tearing up quietly in the dark. Just block it out nowadays or force myself to forget it. I swear i am losing grip on reality. Its terrifying, really terrifying at times, and since i am already pouring my heart out i might go all the way.

I am sore all the time and it hurts so much to even walk. Lube can only help so much. I literally steal more creams to heal than food. It's bad. Really bad. I have no clue how the actual professional girls do it. No clue. I am also constantly bruised. Either by guys I sleep at, sometimes random drunk idiots on the street, or literally just by existing. It feels like i just lean against a wall and bruise my shoulder. I also have scars now between my legs. Not many but it happened before if my judgement of said guy was totally off. I don't even have to self harm. I guess people do it for me. To be fair those are very rare occurrences when i fucked up bad and i didn't have my guard up enough. But yes that happens. Fun, isn't it?

So sorry. Sorry for trying to tell my story and cutting most emotion out... i am just scared but i can't admit that to myself and especially not to the people around me. I need to be strong and numb and tough. I can't show how vulnerable i am or it can end really bad. I have some actually fun and good encounters at times but if i am being honest with myself, I have a significantly higher risk of getting choked to death during my sleep than the average 19 year old i would say. It's only a matter of time. or so i think at least.

So sparked from those comments, here it is. My vulnerable side that hasn't completely lost all humanity and dignity yet. Humor and numbness. That's all i got. It's the only sense of safety i have left. Didn't want to share that crying bitch side of me but you all deserve to hear that too. Sorry.

 

[fadedghost]

I guess you can consider it sex work if you want. I see it more like the kanojo service. The girlfriend date buying renting thing, idk in english. I also have the freedom to just do it via app from wherever i want, can pick the ones i like myself, don't have to talk much initially and can judge them via texting beforehand. It's exciting really. Dangerous but exciting. OnlyFans isn't an options because i don't want to send pictures of me. that stays between guy and me. It apparently doesn't make money anyway. I don't even have a steady internet connection for something like that. Not for me.

I understand and respect your choice.

Also, think of this however you want, but the people who tend to make the most money on OnlyFans are between the ages of 18-24. Sometimes women 25-35 sign up and they are pretty and they hope to make money, and they don't make as much because guys tend to subscribe more to younger models. When people sometimes discuss the average monthly amount made by OnlyFans models, they are taking into women of all ages. I don't think there's any statistics on how much money people 18-20 make. It still may be extremely competitive to make money; I don't know... I know if I were 18 again and struggling for money, I would absolutely do OnlyFans. All anyone needs is a cell phone and public bathroom somewhere to start. I absolutely get not doing OnlyFans however, because it's a very personal choice, and only some women make tons of money. Perhaps it would be degrading, and perhaps someday you'll meet a nice guy you like and won't want an OnlyFans out there.

Also what you are describing here:

Almost every time they do stuff to me i just dissociate automatically. They start touching me and next thing i remember is i lay on my side while tearing up quietly in the dark. Just block it out nowadays or force myself to forget it. I swear i am losing grip on reality. Its terrifying, really terrifying at times, and since i am already pouring my heart out i might go all the way.

sounds to me like rape or sexual assault. Are you giving them permission or is this just happening repeatedly? You also mention being bruised and not being able to walk and are talking about this like it's a trade... but are they going further than you're okay with?

https://rainn.org/ is an organization that has counselors.

I am very sorry you are dealing with this. Are you not able to get a normal job? Would you not like a job? Is there something that prevents you from working normally?

 

[PainThreshold]

Ever thought of asking a kinder man for a plane ticket to go into another country?

That's actually a good way to get trafficked.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

That's actually a good way to get trafficked.

I understood that later, my bad, I forgot that you can't do anything once you're out of your home country. Idk why I assumed she would be able to be housed or fed in a foreign country, maybe I thought about seeking asylum but she is not in a conflict of sorts in Japan (I assume?) at the moment

Also usually the answers to all my big problems in my head is to run away as far as possible, so I guess I wondered what I would do in her situation

 

[monstershaggy]

Do you have any friends you can stay with? Is there any form of community where you can lay low around for a bit like with other women who experience similar things?

 

[ThrowawayName]

They were right to call me out for pretending to be tough

But you are strong though... Like, it is without a doubt no easy task to have been able to endure this much, this long. And yet, it is absolutely understandable the way you are feeling... No shame or need to apologize for that. After all, you are nothing less than a real person.

Also... I forgot to thank you for sharing your personal story. It really helped me to see my own life and experiences under a more objective light. It grounded me to remember how there are people out there, like you, who refuse to give up despite their current circumstances. And I bet it did the same for many others.

I'm honestly hopeful to hearing good news about you in the future. But no matter how dark or hopeless things may get, please keep in mind:

あなたの人生には、戦い抜く価値がある。



Oh, yeah... I used to listen to inabakumori too and those songs brought me some nice memories. So, thanks for sharing your cool taste in music too

Take care, and thanks for taking the time to read

 

[morina]

Two sweet people commented on my profile post about ME saying how ugly i am and how much i hate myself. They were right to call me out for pretending to be tough, so here we go. Thank you both. Well, the side i really didn't want to show but need to:

Honestly, if i stop smiling it away, i am terrified all day everyday. I am scared, alone, cold, feel sticky and constantly so so hungry. I have weird people over me doing things to me or I need to sleep while they make as much body contact as possible and i just met them a few hours ago. I hate myself and everything about myself. Shit i sometimes cant even afford condoms or cant find free ones in time and just have to pray theirs are actually safe. But to get money, food or get basic hygiene i need to go to them. I need to take the risk, and sometimes bad things happen. Visiting men is always my last resort and only do it if I am just so exhausted and need some shelter.

Almost every time they do stuff to me i just dissociate automatically. They start touching me and next thing i remember is i lay on my side while tearing up quietly in the dark. Just block it out nowadays or force myself to forget it. I swear i am losing grip on reality. Its terrifying, really terrifying at times, and since i am already pouring my heart out i might go all the way.

I am sore all the time and it hurts so much to even walk. Lube can only help so much. I literally steal more creams to heal than food. It's bad. Really bad. I have no clue how the actual professional girls do it. No clue. I am also constantly bruised. Either by guys I sleep at, sometimes random drunk idiots on the street, or literally just by existing. It feels like i just lean against a wall and bruise my shoulder. I also have scars now between my legs. Not many but it happened before if my judgement of said guy was totally off. I don't even have to self harm. I guess people do it for me. To be fair those are very rare occurrences when i fucked up bad and i didn't have my guard up enough. But yes that happens. Fun, isn't it?

So sorry. Sorry for trying to tell my story and cutting most emotion out... i am just scared but i can't admit that to myself and especially not to the people around me. I need to be strong and numb and tough. I can't show how vulnerable i am or it can end really bad. I have some actually fun and good encounters at times but if i am being honest with myself, I have a significantly higher risk of getting choked to death during my sleep than the average 19 year old i would say. It's only a matter of time. or so i think at least.

So sparked from those comments, here it is. My vulnerable side that hasn't completely lost all humanity and dignity yet. Humor and numbness. That's all i got. It's the only sense of safety i have left. Didn't want to share that crying bitch side of me but you all deserve to hear that too. Sorry.

It wasn't my goal to make you feel called out. Just know that you can also use the forum to vent how you feel and do not need to keep it on your profile only. Sadly, there are some judgmental people here, but most acknowledge the pain of others even without having experienced it. Though how you choose to cope with what you are experiencing is ultimately up to you.

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

But you are strong though... Like, it is without a doubt no easy task to have been able to endure this much, this long. And yet, it is absolutely understandable the way you are feeling... No shame or need to apologize for that. After all, you are nothing less than a real person.

Also... I forgot to thank you for sharing your personal story. It really helped me to see my own life and experiences under a more objective light. It grounded me to remember how there are people out there, like you, who refuse to give up despite their current circumstances. And I bet it did the same for many others.

I'm honestly hopeful to hearing good news about you in the future. But no matter how dark or hopeless things may get, please keep in mind:

あなたの人生には、戦い抜く価値がある。

Oh, yeah... I used to listen to inabakumori too and those songs brought me some nice memories. So, thanks for sharing your cool taste in music too

Take care, and thanks for taking the time to read

ほんとにありがとう。♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ @ThrowawayName ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡

もしかして、同じ感じだったりする…？横浜周辺にいたりしないかな。
自分が何してるのかマジで分かんなくて、なんでもいいからアドバイスもらえると嬉しいかも。
今日大学のキャンパスで気絶しちゃったんだよね。まあ芝生だったから着地は柔らかかったし、いい昼寝にはなったんだけどさ笑。
もう体もメンタルもボロボロだよ。

So if anybody got annoyed by a random girl snoring, that was me. My bad.
Honestly, thank you so much for reading all that and saying such sweet things. Is really kind of you to say i am strong but i feel so incredibly weak and hopeless right now. Feels like my body is just completely falling apart. Walked all night making my way to the campus just hoping i might find somebody in the dorms that needs cuddles or something so i could maybe stay inside a little. Maybe even a few days? It's stupid risky but sometimes it works. got to be out early in the morning and try getting back in towards the evening. Wasn't even sure if i was still gonna be alive once i arrive there. Just feel so miserable and empty today.

Do you know any spots that are somewhat safe to sleep in the open? I am still to cautious to sleep at night. Heard awful stories.

Am really glad the music brought back some good memories for you though. Inabakumori just hits right when you are wandering around empty streets at night, i guess. Thank you again for caring. Really means a lot when most people just look the other way. :3

Also what you are describing here:
sounds to me like rape or sexual assault. Are you giving them permission or is this just happening repeatedly? You also mention being bruised and not being able to walk and are talking about this like it's a trade... but are they going further than you're okay with?

https://rainn.org/ is an organization that has counselors.

I am very sorry you are dealing with this. Are you not able to get a normal job? Would you not like a job? Is there something that prevents you from working normally?

Skipping OnlyFans part of your message. Got enough pictures made of me. Don't need that ever again.

I know it sounds awful to someone with a normal life, but it is just the reality of the trade. Agree to go to their place to get off the street, so i guess i give permission for something to happen. Sometimes they get way too rough, do things i hate or just straight up what feels like RP a torturer chamber, but once i am locked inside a strangers room i don't really have a safe way to say no. I do have a flip knife with me at all times but do i really want to stab somebody and get in huge trouble or just close my eyes and add a +1 to my trauma counter that is maxed out anyway.

About getting a normal job, it really isn't that simple. Need a registered address and a guarantor just to get hired anywhere. Plus i am completely exhausted, starving, and covered in bruises half the time. Cant exactly show up to a cafe interview looking like this.

Ooh, Rainn is an american link anyway, and the police here wouldn't care about a kamimachi girl even if i did report it. (American exceptionalism lol)
Thanks for trying to help ♥

That's actually a good way to get trafficked.

Need keep all options on the table! lol, but yes, don't fly to random people in other countries unless you like tiny islands in the caribbean... looking at you Epstein cx
@WrathfulGloom32 don't worry about it. i have no clue what i am doing, so why should you ♥

Do you have any friends you can stay with? Is there any form of community where you can lay low around for a bit like with other women who experience similar things?

I know a few and we bump into each other. I think i explained it before. I wouldn't call them friends. More acquaintances that i sometimes hang around with. Then we part ways till we bump into each other again. I don't think i want to actually befriend other girls. Don't want to risk them selling me out or whatever thing people in need do to others to stay afloat themselves. No rest for the wicked. (good song)

It wasn't my goal to make you feel called out.

I am very sorry. I should have worded that better and i am very thankful for you giving me the permission to actually let me speak those words out. I tried giving it a shot and it felt scary but good i think idk. thanks anyway! Last time i actually vented was probably before corona.

 

[fadedghost]

About getting a normal job, it really isn't that simple. Need a registered address and a guarantor just to get hired anywhere. Plus i am completely exhausted, starving, and covered in bruises half the time. Cant exactly show up to a cafe interview looking like this.

I asked AI what you should do. AI said:

Immediate Priority: Get a Real Address

She needs to contact organizations specifically designed to solve this problem:

• Big Issue Japan (ビッグイシュー日本) - Allows her to register as a magazine vendor, earn money immediately, and connects her to housing resources and job placement
• Homedoor - Provides emergency housing support and job training specifically for cyber-homeless and street homeless populations
• KYOFUKAI Step House (if she qualifies as a woman) - 6-month transitional housing at low cost, which may give her an address to work from
• Housing First Tokyo - Emergency housing programs

Calling these organizations is the actual first step. They've dealt with exactly this situation thousands of times and know how to navigate the municipal office skepticism.

---

What She Can Do Right Now (While Getting Housed)

Use the internet café address strategically:

• Apply for jobs that are desperate for workers (convenience stores, restaurants, delivery, warehouses, cleaning) - they're less likely to scrutinize the address
• When asked about her address at interviews, be honest but frame it practically: "I'm currently using [café address] but I'm working on securing stable housing"
• Day labor agencies (日雇い派遣) and temp work are often more flexible about address verification than permanent positions

Maximize current earning potential:

• If she's working, every yen matters - look for slightly higher-paying temp work or multiple part-time jobs to save aggressively
• Some cyber-homeless work 2-3 jobs simultaneously to save enough for an actual deposit (typically 3-4 months' rent upfront in Japan)

---

The Most Important Thing

She shouldn't wait to be "ready" to contact these organizations. Organizations like Big Issue Japan and Homedoor want to help people in her exact situation - that's literally why they exist. The fact that she's working, not using drugs, and trying to get out means she's exactly who they support.

The cyber-homeless trap works because isolation and shame keep people from reaching out. Being in an internet café is not a personal failure—it's a housing affordability crisis, and there are people and organizations whose entire job is to help people exit this specific situation.
This is what AI said. Would you try any of those things or is that not possible?

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

I've heard before about in Japan there being such a thing as "girlfriend rental" or something like that. Where single men just have a girlfriend for a day or a time or whatever. I gather it isn't so much about sex, though it might be sometimes, but is for the lonely people out there who otherwise wouldn't have anyone, so they kind of rent a relationship for a bit. Maybe I've misheard that?

In any case, I bring that up... because when you strip away the depression and aspects of what is driving the OP to have this life she is relating to us... there appears to be something in Japanese culture that seems to allow for more casual non-committed relationships where both people get something out of it and then move on afterwards. It feels a little alien to me, because I feel like relationships have become too transactional and I think it is killing society... but if you're in a culture where this is more normalized, I'm not sure what the OP is doing is as strange in Japan as it might seem to us on the other side of the world.

oh nooo shit, sorry i must have scrolled past your comment. Sorry for my late response.

The rental kanojo thing is way more corporate than it sounds, i guess. those girls work for agencies that are basically like idol or modeling companies. Theres anime about it so i guess thats where most people get their knowledge from.

IRL its all super controlled, the guys get checked and they aren't even allowed to kiss. hand holding is usually the max contact girls allow. there are cuddle services too but is an actual company you have to apply to with paperwork and a clean record. i'm just scum of society to them. they want "pure" girls, not someone like me. guess what i do is just the raw, ugly version of that when you have nothing left to lose. everything in the city feels transactional but my life is just a trade for survival. Oh right, some guys work as rental boyfriends as well. They are called kareshi. Women get lonely as well.

But i am not one and the internet can most likely tell you way more about how it works. Just know its useless for me to apply.

Also usually the answers to all my big problems in my head is to run away as far as possible, so I guess I wondered what I would do in her situation

Tried that with mixed results so far. Will keep you updated on future developments lol
But i totally understand why you do it. Facing your problems is hard and the longer you run the more problems pile up and then you reach a point with so many problems it seems impossible to fix. Don't have advice on it. Don't give up.

I asked AI what you should do. AI said:

Immediate Priority: Get a Real Address

She needs to contact organizations specifically designed to solve this problem:

• Big Issue Japan (ビッグイシュー日本) - Allows her to register as a magazine vendor, earn money immediately, and connects her to housing resources and job placement
• Homedoor - Provides emergency housing support and job training specifically for cyber-homeless and street homeless populations
• KYOFUKAI Step House (if she qualifies as a woman) - 6-month transitional housing at low cost, which may give her an address to work from
• Housing First Tokyo - Emergency housing programs

Calling these organizations is the actual first step. They've dealt with exactly this situation thousands of times and know how to navigate the municipal office skepticism.

---

What She Can Do Right Now (While Getting Housed)

Use the internet café address strategically:

• Apply for jobs that are desperate for workers (convenience stores, restaurants, delivery, warehouses, cleaning) - they're less likely to scrutinize the address
• When asked about her address at interviews, be honest but frame it practically: "I'm currently using [café address] but I'm working on securing stable housing"
• Day labor agencies (日雇い派遣) and temp work are often more flexible about address verification than permanent positions

Maximize current earning potential:

• If she's working, every yen matters - look for slightly higher-paying temp work or multiple part-time jobs to save aggressively
• Some cyber-homeless work 2-3 jobs simultaneously to save enough for an actual deposit (typically 3-4 months' rent upfront in Japan)

---

The Most Important Thing

She shouldn't wait to be "ready" to contact these organizations. Organizations like Big Issue Japan and Homedoor want to help people in her exact situation - that's literally why they exist. The fact that she's working, not using drugs, and trying to get out means she's exactly who they support.

The cyber-homeless trap works because isolation and shame keep people from reaching out. Being in an internet café is not a personal failure—it's a housing affordability crisis, and there are people and organizations whose entire job is to help people exit this specific situation.
This is what AI said. Would you try any of those things or is that not possible?

Uh i can look into those things. I don't really trust Ai much but i can look into it i guess. Thank you for trying to help i appreciate it.

Also i did use drugs for a while or some over the counter meds in high doses but i usually don't have the money for it anymore. Wish i did

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

I need to cut down on using this forum so much. Spent way too much time on here today instead of tweeting or hunting for gods, and now it is way too late to find anyone for the night. i am so fucked if i keep wasting my time windows like this. Need to focus on actually surviving.
I am so fucking tired of it all. I don't want to anymore. Everyday the same torture. When does it finally stop. I don't know anymore. The reality is i don't even have the energy or will to improve my life and i know everyone will think im stupid for it in here. Well i think one person gets what i feel at least.
@ThrowawayName なら分かってくれるかな、なんて。勝手にそう思ってるだけかもしれないけど。

 

[Dejected 55]

I know it's easy for any of us to say... But this world seems to be very transactional even for the best-case situations. Very few people seem to really care about anyone other than themselves, and most relationships seem to be very much transaction based, and as soon as one or both people feel the transaction isn't slanted to their favor, they start looking elsewhere. Cheating is rampant in men and women whether married or children or not, and most marriages end in divorce and it's not just because of abuse or something, quite a lot of marriages end because they just decide they don't want to be with the person anymore. Most people just don't really know their partners or care to know them. It's all about getting "theirs" and very little else.

So, while people still look down on sex work, and certainly there are people being trafficked and abused and that shit should be pursued and punished way more harshly than it ever is... the sad truth is that there are people all over the world who behave as if they are not involved in sex work, but they really kind of are when you think about it because they aren't happy and they aren't loved and they don't love their partner and they are just doing what they need to do to get whatever they want/need in the moment.

Maybe love and partnership never really existed. I mean, the patriarchy has been a real thing for generations and women were oppressed and still are in some cultures... so maybe "equality" comes about in the form of men and women equally giving no fucks about each other and using each other equally? That future makes me sad. I always hoped men would get better and be better and women would be lifted up and we'd all see each other as equals and love more purely as a result... but it seems like humanity is always a race to the bottom. The abuser doesn't learn to stop abusing, instead we just get more abusers... we don't get less of a patriarchy and more equal power distribution, we get everyone out for themselves and saying fuck you to anyone not them.

I see a sad lonely future coming for everyone, if we aren't already there. Maybe most people want it this way, maybe they don't care. But it's sad to me.