i think i was just raped. i dont really know how to feel. he's just sleeping in bed right now as if nothing happened. i trusted him as a friend and partner. i feel like shit. this is the second time we hung out alone, and he came to my apartment after the club. eventually we made out and he kept asking to have sex. i continuously said no and that i was tired but he still did it and with no condom too. i feel so shameless. idk how to cope with this feeling. i was already feeling very low but this was the cherry on top.
Sabitsuki
Rusting away...
- Jul 29, 2024
- 15
That's rape, don't let anyone tell you it wasn't.
If it's safe to do so, I hope you can get away from that person and/or report them.
If it's safe to do so, I hope you can get away from that person and/or report them.
If you have anywhere to go such as relatives or friends please consider going. Your safety matters first and foremost. Please consider going to the police and getting a rape kit done (unfortunately, this will feel like another violation, but it's neccessary) and remember that it wasn't your fault. None of this is your fault. And absolutely nothing condones rape. Your boyfriend violated your trust and safety. Ignore what he says or does to defend his selfish actions. Remember that feeling hurt, angry, sad, and whatever else is natural. Just take one breath at a time.
I'm not going to give any meaningless empty advice, it's all just so senseless. I'm sorry you have to go through this senseless pain.
If you feel you need to talk about it more or get more advice from other survivors here's a subreddit on Reddit if you have an account:
www.reddit.com
I'm not going to give any meaningless empty advice, it's all just so senseless. I'm sorry you have to go through this senseless pain.
If you feel you need to talk about it more or get more advice from other survivors here's a subreddit on Reddit if you have an account:
Reddit - The heart of the internet
www.reddit.com
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mistymoo
Im going to be apart of the 27 club
- May 30, 2024
- 148
Hi, I'm in college for mental health w a speciality in this sorta thing. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
As others have said this was definitely rape. First and foremost it sounds like you were drunk which already should have been a huge red flag FOR HIM. You can't properly consent if you're intoxicated.
secondly, If you said no and he pushed, that's rape. If you wanted a condom but you felt either too scared to ask or you did ask and he pushed, that's rape.
It doesn't matter at ALL if at any point you were aroused or your body reacted like it was aroused. It's still rape.
If you're in Canada I can give you some resources on how / where to get help, if you want (if not that's totally cool too)
You're not alone and you absolutely can overcome this (if you want ofc. I recognize why we're both even on this website in the first place tho.)
As others have said this was definitely rape. First and foremost it sounds like you were drunk which already should have been a huge red flag FOR HIM. You can't properly consent if you're intoxicated.
secondly, If you said no and he pushed, that's rape. If you wanted a condom but you felt either too scared to ask or you did ask and he pushed, that's rape.
It doesn't matter at ALL if at any point you were aroused or your body reacted like it was aroused. It's still rape.
If you're in Canada I can give you some resources on how / where to get help, if you want (if not that's totally cool too)
You're not alone and you absolutely can overcome this (if you want ofc. I recognize why we're both even on this website in the first place tho.)
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waistcoat
wow, i have a lot of people to disappoint :o
- Aug 10, 2024
- 430
I'm so sorry this happened to you. What happened to you is most definitely rape, he did that to you.
Please know this is not your fault. You did nothing to cause this to happen. It may be worth using support groups such as those mentioned by others here on reddit. If you're up to it, it may also be good looking into in-person support groups near you.
Additionally, as you mentioned that there was no condom used, it may be worth getting a morning after pill.
Sending my thoughts your way.
Please know this is not your fault. You did nothing to cause this to happen. It may be worth using support groups such as those mentioned by others here on reddit. If you're up to it, it may also be good looking into in-person support groups near you.
Additionally, as you mentioned that there was no condom used, it may be worth getting a morning after pill.
Sending my thoughts your way.
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Having spent my entire adult life in and around legal fields (law enforcement and legal types), what you have described meets the definition of rape.
You are gonna need to buckle up, kiddo. This journey is not for the faint of heart, BUT I do believe (because I have seen it with my own eyes more than a few times) this could very well be the catalyst for the journey that teaches you that you ARE worthy of dignity and respect. And love. And above all that, you are worthy of love from YOURSELF no matter what anyone else has done to you.
**Trigger Warning**
1. Go to the closest ER. Don't shower. Wear any clothing you had on when he started assaulting you. If you were naked, then put on the clothes you had on last night when you came home. There may be some evidence on your clothing LE needs.
2. Take ALL the information the ER and responding officers will give you regarding counseling, rape advocacy groups and legal help.
Take advantage of ALL of it. Chances are it will be MONTHS before the enormity of what has been done to you will sink in. Don't be shocked if that happens. Grief is an odd cat -- some of us are "over" things quickly, others of us may never fully "get over it" but we are ALL capable of some level of healing.
3. If you can't afford it, and you live in an apartment complex or multiple home complex, ask management to change the locks on the doors for you.
4. If there was ever a reason to ghost someone this is it. Do not remove him from your social media though. Start a notebook and list the date, time and duration of any phone calls he makes to you. Do not delete any texts or voice messages, or social media comments from him. In fact, keep screenshots in case he decides later to delete any attempts to contact you.
Do not feel like you have to answer if he calls or respond to anything he leaves for you. This is no longer about his feelings.
5. Do what the lawyers ask you to do throughout the process. Ask questions if you do not understand. Make yourself as familiar with what is going to happen throughout the next few months to years as you can. It will help ease your anxiety.
6. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. YOU DID NOTHING TO ASK FOR, OR DESERVE THIS. Do not be afraid to ask for help.
You are new enough that I cannot message you, but if you would like to message me later, when you are able, I will be glad to answer any questions you have. I don't have all the answers, but I will help where I can.
You are gonna need to buckle up, kiddo. This journey is not for the faint of heart, BUT I do believe (because I have seen it with my own eyes more than a few times) this could very well be the catalyst for the journey that teaches you that you ARE worthy of dignity and respect. And love. And above all that, you are worthy of love from YOURSELF no matter what anyone else has done to you.
**Trigger Warning**
1. Go to the closest ER. Don't shower. Wear any clothing you had on when he started assaulting you. If you were naked, then put on the clothes you had on last night when you came home. There may be some evidence on your clothing LE needs.
2. Take ALL the information the ER and responding officers will give you regarding counseling, rape advocacy groups and legal help.
Take advantage of ALL of it. Chances are it will be MONTHS before the enormity of what has been done to you will sink in. Don't be shocked if that happens. Grief is an odd cat -- some of us are "over" things quickly, others of us may never fully "get over it" but we are ALL capable of some level of healing.
3. If you can't afford it, and you live in an apartment complex or multiple home complex, ask management to change the locks on the doors for you.
4. If there was ever a reason to ghost someone this is it. Do not remove him from your social media though. Start a notebook and list the date, time and duration of any phone calls he makes to you. Do not delete any texts or voice messages, or social media comments from him. In fact, keep screenshots in case he decides later to delete any attempts to contact you.
Do not feel like you have to answer if he calls or respond to anything he leaves for you. This is no longer about his feelings.
5. Do what the lawyers ask you to do throughout the process. Ask questions if you do not understand. Make yourself as familiar with what is going to happen throughout the next few months to years as you can. It will help ease your anxiety.
6. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. YOU DID NOTHING TO ASK FOR, OR DESERVE THIS. Do not be afraid to ask for help.
You are new enough that I cannot message you, but if you would like to message me later, when you are able, I will be glad to answer any questions you have. I don't have all the answers, but I will help where I can.
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I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Do you have family or friends that will support you?
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