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mysticatedwine

mysticatedwine

rotting autistic sun
Mar 4, 2025
133
i was scared of death as a child. i still am today actually. there is so much more i wish i could do with my life, too many hobbies i want to indulge in.

i wish i could study insects. continue embroidery. do more online roleplaying and create more OCs. Learn how to cook, watch more of the movies that i love and read so many books. Buy and get into more board games (i have around 25) and eventually create one of my own. Get further into 3d printing. make more handcrafted gifts for those i love. there's so many things i can't remember it all.

the date set for my suicide is summer 2026. this life is so painful but oh how i long for a little more time... if only it wasn't that painful.
 
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Kitsune_BCN

Kitsune_BCN

Member
Sep 8, 2025
46
Being full of interior life is a blessing.

"An ocuppied solitude is the best of lives" Cicero.

Hold on to it as much as you can ❤️
 
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melonpan

Member
Sep 9, 2024
58
I feel the exact same as you except rather than being afraid of death as a child, I was more afraid of growing old hence I'd rather die. Still an issue… I remember seeing a quote that says "you're always haunted by the idea that you're wasting your life" and well, it's pretty accurate. Having so many hobbies but also being preoccupied with having to live, it's annoying.
But! Even then, for both you and me, we should try to engage in our hobbies as much as possible. Personally, I'm hoping I can start trying to with the mindset "I'm gonna die anyways, might as well live a good life and enjoy myself"
 

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