Discussion too lazy and depressed to even ctb

[marksofdespair]

this probably sounds like a contradiction but is anyone else just genuinely too bedridden and lazy to even try killing themselves

I have been too fucking lazy to get up and clean my room before I ctb, too lazy to finalize everything I need to do before I die, I just sit here fawning over my suicide every day, but I can't even bring myself to get out of fucking bed to execute it. I have no energy; I don't even know that it's laziness more than just pure exhaustion and fatigue. All I feel like doing is lying in my fucking bed and doomscrolling all day, but I don't know how long I can keep this up before someone intervenes.

 

[itsgone2]

Same here. This isn't sustainable

 

[soul2realm]

My ctb set up has been ready for months now but somehow i keep on staring at it. Old and classic movies on youtube somehow manage to take away the remaining strains of courage that I gather to do it.

 

[Lost21]

I feel the same way. CtB requires too much energy

 

[lastsunset]

this probably sounds like a contradiction but is anyone else just genuinely too bedridden and lazy to even try killing themselves

I have been too fucking lazy to get up and clean my room before I ctb, too lazy to finalize everything I need to do before I die, I just sit here fawning over my suicide every day, but I can't even bring myself to get out of fucking bed to execute it. I have no energy; I don't even know that it's laziness more than just pure exhaustion and fatigue. All I feel like doing is lying in my fucking bed and doomscrolling all day, but I don't know how long I can keep this up before someone intervenes.

Same. Worse is I had the materials for a solid method but I gave away it to "protect myself" a few months ago. So now I'm back to square one with figuring out methods and im too tired to read through all the text on here 90% of the time. I think I actually completely fried brain

 

[badatparties]

This is so real.

 

[Obliviate]

This is what I'm exactly going through rn. I'm trying to get back into that dark mindset to give me some motivation to Ctb

 

[Realog11]

This is what I'm exactly going through rn. I'm trying to get back into that dark mindset to give me some motivation to Ctb

Same

 

[mourningyesterday]

relatable, its so exhausting but im not getting any better it's not sustainable too as im only going to get worse

 

[happy2die]

definitely. I have wasted 2 perfect chances to CTB because of this. Unfortunately I have been put in a very stressful situation because of this and it's a blessing in disguise since I will finally have the motivation to go through with it

 

[RunDown]

I have my whole setup in the closet. I could end it all right now. I'm physically suffering more than I've ever had and continuing to worsen. I can hardly bring myself to get out of bed. Summoning the will to end my life is daunting. I think about it all the time though. I'm trying to manifest it.

 

[doomedforsure]

lol i feel you
im so lazy that i cant even kill myself

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I've been in this state for months. I'm too lazy to read or watch movies, and my thoughts are too unpleasant. I post here or otherwise doomscroll all day.

 

[Obliviate]

Same

This is my post about it

How do I go back to feeling the depressive darkness?

Hi, Been on this site for years. A couple years back I had the most intense, numb, dark, despair, depressed CTB feeling and I want that state of mind back. Incredibly bad. Right now I’m acting like I’m not going to CTB. I need my brain and body to get in the right “mood” in order to CTB if that...

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