i guess that really is the question. i've been contemplating this for a while. feeling as though it comes down to this one decision and i either have to live my life and really try to create something good here, or i need to end it. i know that i can't live in this limbo anymore, but actually going through with either option feels so daunting. when i think about living i look at all my regrets and feel almost embarrassed by what's happened throughout my life. however, when i really think about my method (sn) i just think about the possible pain and what people around me might go through (even though i know it probably won't matter when i'm dead). i just hate where i am at right now, but i'm barely holding on enough to fix things.
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Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,621
I'm where you're at. Fixing my life would take soooooo much effort. Even if my mental issues didn't get in the way, even if I did give 100% effort every day towards this goal, I don't know if I'd be able to do it. Not to mention seeing at my peers finding success and happiness in life fucking hurts. I get jealous, I admit it.
So here I am, stuck in limbo too.
So here I am, stuck in limbo too.
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